The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => The Bar => Topic started by: CaliaMoko on July 19, 2017, 02:46:22 PM
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I will continue to monitor the forums, and possibly post from time to time, but my participation is likely to be sporadic for awhile. My daughter (she's 39) was diagnosed with breast cancer Monday and I will be providing her with in-person support as much as I can. We live 4 hours apart, so I'll probably be away from home a lot. I don't know much more than that at the moment, but I would appreciate whatever kind of "psychic" support anyone can provide (prayers, for those who pray, good thoughts, whatever).
Vicki
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I'm really sorry to hear that, Vicki...I'll be thinking of you both and hoping things work out just fine
Paul x
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Aw Vicki,sorry to hear that about your daughter.
Keep positive,the cure rate is improving all the time. Take care and we'll be thinking of you.
Davy.
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Hi Vicki,
Sending you my very best wishes to you and your daughter. I hope that your daughter makes a good recovery.
Paul
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Hi Vicki - Really sorry to hear your news - Thoughts are with you both. Love, John
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Sorry to hear that Vicky, sending good wishes your way for a speedy recovery for your daughter. Pauly
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Best wishes being sent from the West Country, too. xx
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All the best wishes and positive vibes from France too Vicki. My wife went through it in 2005 and is still fighting fit and making a nuisance of herself if that's any consolation! Keep your spirits up!
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Thanks for all the support. It means a lot to me. I have had breast cancer twice myself. My mother's sister also had it once. Under the circumstances I requested, and my insurance approved, gene testing. But I have none of the known relevant gene mutations. I strongly suspect we have one that hasn't been discovered yet.
I will be accompanying my daughter to her planning consult and I will ask about the possibility of having some kind of gene cross referencing done. I hope my aunt had some of her tissue saved for research.
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My thoughts and best wishes are with you, your daughter and your family Vicki!
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All the best Vicki, hope everything goes well.
Keith
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Your Daughter got friends here Vicki
Do what you have to do
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So sorry to hear that Vicki! Hoping for a speedy recovery for your daughter!
Sending positive thoughts and good vibes to the both of you!
Peter
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I have no idea what to put here either other than best wishes to you and your daughter.
The only silver lining I can see here is at least your daughter has you on her side with the unfortunate experience and wisdom to support her through it.
Yodasdad
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Sending positive thoughts out into the Universe for you. Hope to see you back with better news before long.
Adam
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Hang tough the both of you.
We'll be thinking of you across the miles.
Paul
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Vicki, I'm so sorry to hear your news :( Sending very best wishes and mega healing vibes to your daughter and to you. x
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I have always said this forum is awesome and supportive. I was referring to music, but now I am expanding my intent. It makes such a difference to know people are thinking of us.
We (her dad and I) have been at her house this week. Her family just moved and she just started a new job. Her husband is still st their old house working his old job till the end of the month so she's alone with their 3-yr-old daughter and being overwhelmed with everything. Her husband will come for the weekend but has to go back for one more week.
She's actually more worried about finances, since she isn't eligible for insurance until October 1, at her new job. Her husband's dad has offered to help some financially, so that has relieved a little stress. My brain is in frenetic mode, thinking about one aspect and then another.
Anyway, enough details. Thank you so much for all your kind wishes.
Vicki
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I will be thinking of you and your daughter through the weeks and months ahead. I'm pretty sure many others here will be doing the same.
Positive thoughts sent out to the two of you whenever I can think them.
Wish I/We could do more.
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best wishes and positive rays to you and your daughter vicki
hope all goes well
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Oh, Vicky, I'm so sorry to hear your daughter has been hit with this. What horrible timing, too. It's an extra punch in the gut when you fall through the cracks for insurance coverage. We're still in the barbarian stage of evolution when it comes to caring for each other on a larger scale like this. It's so wrong, at least that's my opinion.
I went through this a couple of years ago and decided to go nuclear because in ten years from now I may have no insurance at all. The recurrence rate for excise plus radiation was 30% after ten years. My husband will be retired by then and I'll be on my own for insurance coverage at that stage. I said, "Just take it all." It turned out to be the right decision for me because they found more on the other side that hadn't been caught. I was extremely fortunate with the outcome and got my expected recurrence rate down to 2% with just surgery, and I walked out with a better-looking pair than when I went in.
My hope is that everything goes as well for your daughter as is did for me. Hugs and healing thoughts for you, your daughter and her family.
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Thank you, Verlon, noons, and Jenna. I also went through this a couple years ago, Jenna, plus four years before that. The second time I opted for the bilateral option, as well. I sincerely believe I must have a gene mutation conducive to breast cancer that hasn't been found yet.
I'm so glad my daughter has me for support!
Vicki
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Thank you, Verlon, noons, and Jenna. I also went through this a couple years ago, Jenna, plus four years before that. The second time I opted for the bilateral option, as well. I sincerely believe I must have a gene mutation conducive to breast cancer that hasn't been found yet.
I'm so glad my daughter has me for support!
Vicki
She's a very lucky woman to have you there. Not everybody does. My husband was downright heroic during that timeframe. He's been with his employer for decades, so has a lot of vacation time he earns every year. They were able to do the skin-sparing procedure, which is something of a new thing, so all of my skin had to heal by adhering to the muscle tissue underneath. I was not able to use my arms until the drains were removed, and the more I did use them, the longer it took to remove the drains. I think that was the worst of it. That was a couple of weeks. But the whole process is a marathon that after about three months you just want it over and done with.
My mom passed of lung cancer (never smoker) about five years ago. Her family has a lot of cancer, so they checked me for a particular gene mutation that interferes with your body's ability to detoxify substances and leads to many different kinds of cancer. It turns out I did carry a version of that mutation, but one with unknown significance. We still don't know if all of that cancer was genetic or not. I'm guessing it most likely is.
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Hi Vicki,
Just spotted this post, sorry to hear about your daughter and hope all goes well her.
Regards
Andy
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Thank you, Andy. We're really hoping--depending--on everything going well. We'll know more after next Tuesday's oncology appointment, but it sounds like she found it early.
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Catching things early is half the battle so that is some good news
Will be thinking of you all on Tuesday
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Vicki, is it okay to ask what your daughter first name is.
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Sure, Pat. Her name is Amanda.
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Your post really struck a chord with me. I've been posting stuff from my band the signal fires on this forum for a while now. My wife who also.played keyboards and sang in the band was diagnosed with breast cancer last November I am glad to say she is one week away from finishing her treatment and it has all gone to plan. Her diagnosis meant she had to step away from the band but encouraged me to keep writing and recording although we have all but ceased live gigs for the time being. She even modelled for the album artwork of our single consequence of love whilst going through her chemo. I'm not going to lie treatment is hard. Hard for the patient and hard on their family but it is fixable. I don't know the ins and outs of your daughters condition but I cant stress how important a positive attitude is. It will put everything in to perspective for you all. Good luck and best wishes and stay positive. We have some of the best cancer treatment in the world in this country.
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Thanks Vicki, as you know there are many great people working everyday too find a gene that can destroy this enemy once and for all and as you said "but it sounds like she found it early" keep your spirits high.
Don't know if this is appropriate or not, The Highwaymen, all our thoughts are with you Amanda, Keep Your Spirits High, from all here.
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Hey Vicki - Just dropping by to say good luck tomorrow, I hope everything goes OK and thoughts are with you, Amanda and family. All the best :)
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Hi Vicki, Life is always a journey, hey. Travel safe. You are a fantastically supportive and fabulous Mom. Thinking of you both and sending much love, light and general girl power from across the pond. C xx
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Andyb: Thanks so much for sharing your personal experience. I would so much prefer none of us should go through something like this, but it is good not to be alone, to know someone has gone through it all and come out the other side.
Pat: Thanks for the song link. I forwarded it to Amanda and she did enjoy it. :)
Darren: Thank you for thinking of us. Amanda has now had an echocardiogram (to make sure her heart is in good shape before starting chemo--and it is), a CT scan (to make sure cancer hasn't spread anywhere else in her body--it hasn't), surgery to implant a port for delivery of chemo drugs (and to use for blood draws), and an MRI (to see if the previous mammo and MRI tests found all the cancer in her breast--they didn't).
Caz: Thank you for the kind words and the moral/psychic support. It's all appreciated.
LATEST UPDATE:
Chemo starts tomorrow. There will be four chemo treatments with two drugs, two weeks apart (assuming her blood count stays where it needs to be throughout). Then another MRI to see the results. Then a new round of chemo with two new drugs. Ultimately, all leading to surgery--original recommendation was a lumpectomy, but now that they've found two more places in the breast with cancer (total of 4 spots), it seems only a mastectomy will do.
AND HOW AM I DOING?
Well, much worse than when I was going through something similar myself. It's much harder on me as a mom. Of course, part of that is because my situation was never life-threatening and--while she's facing good odds--there's still a 5%-20% chance treatment will not be successful.
I have had no energy to do any writing and even less to try to review the work of others. I am managing to spend time doing some "mindless" types of musical tasks (eg, entering songs into my SongBook app), and I also do a little singing and--less often--guitar playing. Never for very long. I'm sure it'll get better as I adapt to my new normal, but it'll take awhile.
Supportive messages from some of you and various others mean a lot to me and I thank you all immensely.
Vicki
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That's awful news - I'll be thinking you both.
Mike