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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Neil C on July 07, 2017, 05:33:34 PM

Title: Jesus Saves - collab with delb0y
Post by: Neil C on July 07, 2017, 05:33:34 PM
Hi fellow songwriters,

Here's a simple rootsy number that Derek most kindly provided the vocals and acoustic guitars.

With a nod to Little Feat its a bit under produced but hopefully the homespun nature adds to the southern stew.

https://soundcloud.com/neilconnor-2/jesus-saves-master-15-may-2017 (https://soundcloud.com/neilconnor-2/jesus-saves-master-15-may-2017)

All thoughts and comments welcomed.

 :)

neil

Jesus saves, its written on the wall
Jesus saves, its written on the wall
As plain as day, in black and white
You just gotta give him line of sight
Jesus saves, its written on the wall

Little Nick he don't need a helping hand
Little Nick he don't need a helping hand
Trouble is he don't do alone
And He wants some friends to call his own
Little Nick he don't need a helping hand

So where do you go when the preacher says?
The promised land or headed downstairs
Where do you stand, right or wrong
The gospel choirs or the devils song

The lord he giveth and the lord he takes away
If you want his love get on your knees and pray
The savour saves, understand
Little Nick just ain't my man
Jesus saves its written on the wall

As plain as day, in black and white
You just gotta give him line of sight
Jesus saves, its written on the wall

C 2017 N Connor
Title: Re: Jesus Saves - collab with delb0y
Post by: Jambrains on July 07, 2017, 09:38:21 PM
As a fellow guitar player I assume the title is a just a typo?
You obviously meant Gsus Saves, did you not?  ;D
Title: Re: Jesus Saves - collab with delb0y
Post by: pompeyjazz on July 07, 2017, 10:15:15 PM
Lovely stuff you guys. Sleazy late night groove.  Would just liked to have heardrum Del Boy's vocs a bit more up front in the mix. Wonderful stuff though  :)
Title: Re: Jesus Saves - collab with delb0y
Post by: diademgrove on July 08, 2017, 09:16:18 PM
Hi Neil and Derek,

really up my street, a good song well written and recorded.

The only line that doesn't work for me is "The promised land or headed downstairs". It doesn't sound grammatical correct, as if you have forced the rhyme. The rest of the song flows really well so this sticks out.

I may be being overly pedantic so please ignore me if you disagree.

Keith
Title: Re: Jesus Saves - collab with delb0y
Post by: Ashes for Dreams on July 09, 2017, 07:20:26 AM
Underproduced works just fine, think the snare is a bit too up front and the vocals need to come up a bit but other than that the mix sound just fine.
Great guitars and vocals, solid song.
Well done both of you!
Title: Re: Jesus Saves - collab with delb0y
Post by: PaulyX on July 09, 2017, 11:28:03 PM
Some superb slide guitar licks fellas (reminiscent of the guits in "Seamus" by the Floyd - a fine heritage), backed up by some very nice walking bass, and I like the 'crispiness' of the drums too.  Simple production works well by my ears.  By the way, Jambrains deserves a prize for the "Gsus Saves" gag...
Title: Re: Jesus Saves - collab with delb0y
Post by: Oldbutyet on July 10, 2017, 12:16:05 AM
First of all, Neil you're great guitar player but you have to let the singer sing with the flow man.

Let the vocal come in with the flow  8)
Title: Re: Jesus Saves - collab with delb0y
Post by: PaulAds on July 10, 2017, 09:02:29 AM
As I think Alf Garnett said in an episode of 'til death us do part "not on my bloody pension he wouldn't"

Very nice groove mosey-ing on down through this one  :P

Instruments are great and Derek's vocal fits perfectly.

Excellent.

I think Jesus is going to be busy.

Title: Re: Jesus Saves - collab with delb0y
Post by: Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra on July 21, 2017, 05:39:40 PM
Very nice laid-back groove which is right up my street...or one of my streets at least. Nice slide guitar there Del.

Put me in mind of 'Say No To The Devil'...much the same prog I expect and similar subject matter of course. I was messing around trying to knock out a blues song called 'Sure Thing' (ironic title I'm going for) but the only line I've got so far is 'The Lord he won't forsake me when the devil tries to take me....sure thing'....don't know why I mentioned that but never mind!

Enjoyed it and the under-produced raggedyness makes it sound like a rough take that never got the full treatment but they still stuck it on the album as a sort of behind the scenes glimpse of the band just enjoying themselves....I think there's a Cream song like that on some album or other.....
Title: Re: Jesus Saves - collab with delb0y
Post by: Cazrolina on July 21, 2017, 09:31:45 PM
Nicely done. Doesn't need bells and whistles. Understated, and its working really well. Catchy, relaxed, groovv stuff and made me smile  :D - see!
Title: Re: Jesus Saves - collab with delb0y
Post by: Neil C on July 22, 2017, 01:57:09 PM

Cazrolina, thanks for comments and delighted it made you :-)

Dear Count, great feedback on the grove and raggediness, and I know what you mean about an outtake!

PaulAds - thanks for reminding me of till deaf us do part!!

Oldbutyet - Pat 'Neil you're great guitar player but you have to let the singer sing with the flow man.

Let the vocal come in with the flow'. Cheers but dereks doing all the guitars and singing so he's the one to let it flow... ;D


PaulyX - glad you enjoyed it and thanks for the feedback

Ashes for Dreams - yes you're right about the mix. thanks for commenting

Keith - re 'The promised land or headed downstair' I think I force the rhythm of this line musically as I go for the key change ahead of the beat to introduce some tension.. Whether I did that to follow the lyrics I can't remember though

Pompeyjazz - "Sleazy late night groove.  Would just liked to have heardrum Del Boy's vocs a bit more up front in the mix" thanks for that feedback - and yes so would I, del had a very quiet recordings..

Jambrains - sorry I was a bit slow on the uptake around who he was for a few days...  ???
Title: Re: Jesus Saves - collab with delb0y
Post by: Paulski on July 22, 2017, 02:45:45 PM
Hi guys

Lovely collab - well judged musically - great laid-back approach.
Love the slide guitar and solid vocals.
I wasn't sure if the lyrics were tongue-in-cheek or serious and religious but maybe that's the intention  ;D

Good stuff guys  ;D ;D
Paul
Title: Re: Jesus Saves - collab with delb0y
Post by: Skub on July 22, 2017, 08:32:28 PM
Yo y'all.

 :D @ jambrains.

I love this collab,a very live feel to the whole thing,which after all is Del in his natural habitat!
 Nice mix of gospel and blues.

Quality stuff and given the right treatment.

Title: Re: Jesus Saves - collab with delb0y
Post by: Oldbutyet on July 22, 2017, 10:33:58 PM


Oldbutyet - Pat 'Neil you're great guitar player but you have to let the singer sing with the flow man.

Let the vocal come in with the flow'. Cheers but dereks doing all the guitars and singing so he's the one to let it flow... ;D


Haha  ;D  ;D  looks like i got it the wrong way around Neil  8)  you're in there in the background, classic man i like it now  8)

Hey Derek get your vocal out there more man  8)
Title: Re: Jesus Saves - collab with delb0y
Post by: delb0y on July 23, 2017, 08:35:28 AM
Late to the party on this one! Yes, thanks to Neil for doing all the hard work on this  :)  It sprang from an off-hand comment of mine about loving Little Feat and from there Neil came up with the song and the idea for the arrangement. We sent files back and forth gradually fine-tuning the groove and chords, and so on. There's probably a much more efficient way of collaborating. Hell, for me, there's probably a much more efficient (or at least much more professional) way of recording and there may even be ways to share larger files. But it was fun and always a revelation each time Neil sent through the latest arrangement.

Thanks to all of those who listen. It's appreciated.

Cheers
Derek
Title: Re: Jesus Saves - collab with delb0y
Post by: Jenna on July 28, 2017, 08:43:32 AM
Great stuff here. Love the groove, the slide, the vocals and especially the message delivered in a delicate way that makes people want to listen. That's a trick and you've pulled it off nicely.
Title: Re: Jesus Saves - collab with delb0y
Post by: montydog on August 11, 2017, 03:17:49 PM
Hi Guys,

This is a great collab. You have definitely got the Little Feat vibe down nicely which is pretty impressive. The slide playing is great to hear as well. As ever with anything Neil is involved with, this is immaculately played and produced.

My only issue is with the vocals. I'm not sure if it's the delivery, the levels or the recording of the voice but Del just doesn't sound as if he's in command of the song. It's probably just my ears of tin but apart from that, it's a lovely organic, old style piece of music.

M