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Songwriter Forum => Lyrics => Topic started by: PaulAds on June 25, 2017, 01:31:09 PM
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Hello
this is the diatribe I'd written about The Spanish City...which is in Whitley Bay...i don't think it's really lyrics, as such...I'm not using it for the summer holiday competition, but I didn't want to just throw it away.
We’re all going on a Summer Horror Day
Ventriloquist parents threaten their sugar-rush offspring into submission. They can say "i'll give you something to cry about in a minute" whilst gargling snakebite and without making their lips move...as their desperately unhappy and seemingly clairvoyant kids contemplate their future holidays at her majesty's pleasure, comparing it favourably, no doubt, to their current predicament.
The outdoor pool, presumably conceived by a drunken town planning committee that got their collective utopias and dystopias mixed up, is - literally - on the rocks. The only way to have ever made it work would have been to fill it with antifreeze.
The maintenance guy temporarily swaps his can of special brew for WD-40 and lives with the constant fear of an appearance by the health and safety executive, as he bludgeons death-trap fairground rides back into operation in a bewildering attempt to reprise his wishy-washy King Canute in the face of the unrelenting mastery of Charles Darwin.
In the daytime you might see an elephants foot spilling over the side of a Poundland flip-flop...but come the evening, a gravy browning fake tan gives snooker table legs the appearance of a hastily creosoted garden fence as the drunken stilettos clippety-clop back up the road from the sea-front last-chance saloon to flatten a few more bed bugs. And they say (holiday) romance is dead. And well they might.
Rising majestically out of the sea fret, cunningly painted the same colour as the birdshit that the multitude of flying rats deposit when they aren't engaged in dive-bombing disconsolate holidaymakers and then brawling with them over softening chips or hardening ice-cream.
Contrasting starkly against the churning, heaving melancholy of the greyest of skies and battered by the perpetually inclement weather
Ladies and gentlemen...I give you...the Wondrous Spanish City.
Trip Advisor advised against it.
Whoever built it couldn't have meant it.
And you needn't go to Spain
To see The Spanish City in the rain.
I may do a spoken-word "don't wear sunscreen" version of it...I have the music done. Who knows...
Thanks for having a read...sorry I haven't been around much lately.
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Thanks for having a read...sorry I haven't been around much lately.
Well you've certainly made up for any lack of presence with this wondrous piece of writing! ;)
The words flow seamlessly into each other and these would sound brilliant in a spoken word type lyric. I found I was having to read sections again to wrap my mind around the meaning and I think this added something extra to the writing. I still haven't got my mind around some of it and that makes it so intriguing!
It's a very well written passage. I know nothing of the Spanish City and thanks to you I don't I ever want to :P what a brilliant read. I would love to hear this set to music or just recorded as a monologue
Thanks
Darren
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This is awesome! I am eager to see how you put it together. It's so clever and some places take me by surprise in a way I find delightful. I love it.
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Brilliant, made me laugh. Not sure any music could match what was bouncing around my head as I was reading it.
why aye man!!!
Keith
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A very good write I enjoyed reading this well done.
Royston
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Woah - there's a lot of meat on this bone! ;D
It's well written IMHCO.
It will be a challenge to deliver this sonically though.
What, with regional accents, people that can't hear properly (like me - my wife has to translate Coronation Street for me every night.. :( ) and noisy distractions etc...
So I'm thinking maybe it should be on a youtube video with subtitles so nothing is missed.
Paul
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Wow, there's some real disgust here - reminds me a bit of (an English) John Fante.
I like it as is and find it quite hard to imagine in sound.
Perhaps it could be the intro to a book where the mechanic by night is an unsucessful songwriter who goes about sabotaging his career and human relations, while deludedly waiting for cheques to come in from his publisher...
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Great stuff,
The ugly truth told with laugh out loud humour. Yet being the tramp that i am, you didn't put me off, in fact i'm thinking of booking a holiday right now, so i can laugh some more at the absurdity of it all. Then again, i may head south instead.
Brilliant
Vintage54