The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Works in Progress => Topic started by: jonlint on June 19, 2017, 08:41:21 AM
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Hi all,
Came up with this song idea and would appreciate feedback before I continue and write lyrics.
https://soundcloud.com/jonathan-linton-3/song-idea-80
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Hi!
I like the dry and crunchy guitar sound!
I see no reason to doubt that this could turn into a nice song. There is something melodic in the structure that makes it catchy.
I have no idea how to write lyrics to riffs neither do I know the opposite. Not a clue how to make a rock song rock. I blame music class at school. It's easiest that way.
Have you figured out a theme for the song or a title?
I hope it will be a joyful writing process!
Martin
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Hi there,
Thanks for the feedback. Have some initial ideas for lyrics - recorded them quickly. Not my best performance and still not 100% happy. Feedback welcome:
https://soundcloud.com/jonathan-linton-3/fearless-unafraid-v01
FEARLESS UNAFRAID
(Words by Jonathan Linton, Music by Jonathan Linton)
A leap of faith I take
It’s too late
To procrastinate
Dreams and fears are packed
Wheels hit tarmac
There’s no going back
One foot, in front of the other
There’s a whole world to discover
Future’s not certain for me
But I move on
Fearless unfraid
Master of my destiny
So I move on
Fearless unfraid
I’m movin’ on, fearless unfraid
I’m movin’ on, fearless unfraid
I’m movin’ on, fearless unfraid
I’m movin’ on….fearless….un…afraid
Like Doctor Livingstone
I face the unknown
Leave the comfort zone
Courage that cannot fade
I’m not afraid
Of the choice I made
One foot, infront of the other
There’s a whole world to discover
Future’s not certain for me
But I move on
Fearless unfraid
Master of my destiny
So I move on
Fearless unfraid
I’m movin’ on, fearless unfraid
I’m movin’ on, fearless unfraid
I’m movin’ on, fearless unfraid
I’m movin’ on….fearless….un…afraid
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The music is pretty solid.
I like the chorus in the lyrics. But I was wondering if the two words "fearless" and "unafraid" mean something different to you? I just think you can swap fearless with something that adds more to what you're aiming to say.
Also the verses feel like the lines are not held together, I think I know the idea you're going for, but I'm not sure you're pulling it off just yet, so I thing you need to try more options before you get to the one that works.
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Good rocking backing track, I like the guitar sound and the drums sound nice and punchy, sounds a lot better with a vocal, as is often the case the vocal brings the track to life, maybe a few guitar licks and a face melting solo would finish it off nicely. pretty good vocal too, just needs polishing up a bit and you are on to a winner
Mikey
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It was catchy enough that I was finding lyrics for it and singing along in real time through parts of it.
When an instrumental is "begging for lyrics" like that, it's a good one.