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Songwriter Forum => Lyrics => Topic started by: Marrianna on June 05, 2017, 12:23:22 AM
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Hi everyone,
These words were written a long time ago for a lyric contest on TV
The First Time I Saw You
verse1
The first time I saw you
Love was furthest from my mind
Two lost people together
Leaving memories far behind
verse2
The first time I held you
All I needed was to know
You were mine for that moment
Then I'd surely let you go
Chorus
I was wrong, I'm bound to say
Love this strong won't go away
verse 3
The first time I kissed you
Stars came tumbling from the sky
Then I knew for the first time
Love doesn't have to mean goodbye
End
I was wrong
Love is strong
We belong
lyrics by M.Heawood (C)
The competition was to write new words for the song Three Coins In The Fountain. The first line had to be The First Time I Saw You.
I found the words out again many years on, and so is now becoming a work in progress to establish a new MOR ballad. Will move to that category as soon as I can.
Marrianna
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Hi Marianna,
I'm not sure if you are looking for feedback but your words work for me. The only line that I'm not sure about is "I was wrong, I'm bound to say". Not sure why, it just seems out of place to my ears.
I'll check out the work in progress later.
Keith
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Very nice lyrics. I love how each first verse line builds on the depth of the relationship. I'll have to agree that "I'm bound to say," stood our for me, too. I think "I'll have to say," would sound more natural.
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Very nice lyrics. I love how each first verse line builds on the depth of the relationship. I'll have to agree that "I'm bound to say," stood our for me, too. I think "I'll have to say," would sound more natural.
Hi Jenna,
Thankyou for your comments and am pleased you liked the 'development of the relationship' you referred to.
I take your suggestion to replace 'I'm bound to say' with 'I have to say' but I'm not sure the words have the meaning I meant. I agree that they look better in written form though so will keep thinking and considering.
Thanks again
Marrianna :)
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Hi Marrianna
Looks like a solid write to me.
I like how each verse starts out the same - keeps the lyric sounding familiar while introducing new things. The only sugg I would make it to get the title into the back end somehow - it gets abandoned in the first verse.
Maybe a final verse like:
The first time I saw you
How could I have known..
blah blah about strong love etc. ;D
Or not - looking forward to hearing this
Paul