The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Lyrics => Topic started by: Paulski on June 02, 2017, 01:33:48 PM
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Drink from the Toilet
I once had a beagle
Who did gross things
Like licking his bollocks
And rolling in stink
When no-one remembered
To top up his bowl yet
He'd head to the bathroom
And drink from the toilet
{ch}
Now, that water was murky
But he seemed to enjoy it
Man, he must have been thirsty
To drink from a toilet!
I thought of that dog
When I voted last week
I left that place feeling
I'd rolled in a stink
Democracy worked once
But press the fast forward
Now we just get a dose of
The "Buyer's Remorsis"
But I picked up that ballot
Took care not to spoil it
Put my "x" in the box
And I drank from that toilet
The water was murky
But I tried to enjoy it
Democracy's thirsty
So I drank from that toilet
{br}
They tell us that we're lucky
That changing would be tough
And if we don't suck it up
Everything will get backed up
..and the system will not flush
So...
Pick up that ballot
Take care not to spoil it
Put your "x" in the box
And drink from that toilet
The water is murky
But you'll learn to enjoy it
Democracy's thirsty
So drink from that toilet!
Yeah. the water is murky
(You really should boil it)
But Democracy's thirsty!
Come drink from the toilet!!
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Great stuff Paulski
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Hehe ;D ;D ;D Very good Paul. I agree 100% ;D ;D
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Like licking his bollocks :P Great read altogether
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This is excellent satire Paul!!, and a lot more profound than is first apparent.
I no longer vote in UK elections because I will not vote for the corrupt status quo anymore. You've captured a lot of peoples feelings perfectly.
Put it to a punk tune I dare ya!
john
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Hi Paulski, you old dog. This is a quick visit because i'm pressed for time. But i couldn't let this pass without some kind of comment. I sat here for a while, but my words were constipated. The only one i could come up with was, SHIT! I wish i'd written that. Guess i need some prunes. Just great man, just great. Life is like toilet paper, you're either on a roll, or taking shit from some arsehole.
Stay loose
Vintage54
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Really super Paulski. After your last couple of songs I somehow never expected to read one from you with the word "bollocks" in it. I was grinning all the way through reading this and yes, with an election next week here in Blighty, it's very timely! I'm sure this isgoing to be a riot when it hits "Finished Songs".
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Well, I can say it's clever...but...urghhh....blechhh...urk! So graphic! :-\ :P :o
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Hi guys and thanks for the feedback and support.
I know it's gross and graphic Vicki but, well, that's democracy these days, isn't it? ;D
BTW - this came in second last in a lyrics contest on another forum - I guess they like cleaner water over there.. ;D
cheers
Paul
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Drink from the Toilet
I once had a beagle
Who did gross things
Like licking his bollocks
And rolling in stink
When no-one remembered
To top up his bowl yet
He'd head to the bathroom
And drink from the toilet
{ch}
Now, that water was murky
But he seemed to enjoy it
Man, he must have been thirsty
To drink from a toilet!
I thought of that dog
When I voted last week
I left that place feeling
I'd rolled in a stink
Democracy worked once
But press the fast forward
Now we just get a dose of
The "Buyer's Remorsis"
But I picked up that ballot
Took care not to spoil it
Put my "x" in the box
And I drank from that toilet
The water was murky
But I tried to enjoy it
Democracy's thirsty
So I drank from that toilet
{br}
They tell us that we're lucky
That changing would be tough
And if we don't suck it up
Everything will get backed up
..and the system will not flush
So...
Pick up that ballot
Take care not to spoil it
Put your "x" in the box
And drink from that toilet
The water is murky
But you'll learn to enjoy it
Democracy's thirsty
So drink from that toilet!
Yeah. the water is murky
(You really should boil it)
But Democracy's thirsty!
Come drink from the toilet!!
This is very disrespectful to our K9 Friends!!!
Jackdaw1888
BTW...
I do not Vote
And
I never will
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Drink from the Toilet
When no-one remembered
To top up his bowl yet
He'd head to the bathroom
And drink from the toilet
that really part is brillant and fun...
it perfectly suits with the rest of your analogy on politics
really really smart sir !
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I know it's gross and graphic Vicki but, well, that's democracy these days, isn't it? ;D
Indeed. And I do find it very clever. I can't deny it. It is difficult to enjoy, however, although I do--as much as I am able.
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Very funny. I love this for a protest song. It comes across like a late night comedian cracking jokes about the sad state of things - a needed laugh at the end of every bad news day. If it were a more serious protest song, I'd have commented some of the rhymes sounded forced. But they only add to the humor of the song, as I'm sure is your intent. Nice work. How in the world did it come in second to last? People need a sense of humor. :P
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Very funny. I love this for a protest song. It comes across like a late night comedian cracking jokes about the sad state of things - a needed laugh at the end of every bad news day. If it were a more serious protest song, I'd have commented some of the rhymes sounded forced. But they only add to the humor of the song, as I'm sure is your intent. Nice work. How in the world did it come in second to last? People need a sense of humor. :P
Why???
Coz it's fulla dog poops and pathetic poetry!!!
That's why.
Jackdaw1888 :-)
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Very funny. I love this for a protest song. It comes across like a late night comedian cracking jokes about the sad state of things - a needed laugh at the end of every bad news day. If it were a more serious protest song, I'd have commented some of the rhymes sounded forced. But they only add to the humor of the song, as I'm sure is your intent. Nice work. How in the world did it come in second to last? People need a sense of humor. :P
Why???
Coz it's fulla dog poops and pathetic poetry!!!
That's why.
Jackdaw1888 :-)
Huh??
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Very funny. I love this for a protest song. It comes across like a late night comedian cracking jokes about the sad state of things - a needed laugh at the end of every bad news day. If it were a more serious protest song, I'd have commented some of the rhymes sounded forced. But they only add to the humor of the song, as I'm sure is your intent. Nice work. How in the world did it come in second to last? People need a sense of humor. :P
Why???
Coz it's fulla dog poops and pathetic poetry!!!
That's why.
Jackdaw1888 :-)
Huh??
My sentiments, exactly.
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Thanks to all who commented - nice to know a little potty humour is still appreciated.
Speaking of which, did you enjoy drinking the murky water yesterday?
Did you come away with a stink? ;D ;D
Paul
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I like it, cause it's funny but it is also well written. I think it's good as a protest song. Some rhymes are a bit forced according to me, but I really wouldn't know how to change the words, cause they have a perfect meaning.
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I like it, cause it's funny but it is also well written. I think it's good as a protest song. Some rhymes are a bit forced according to me, but I really wouldn't know how to change the words, cause they have a perfect meaning.
Thanks And C. Guess it wouldn't be the first time something was forced on the toilet ;D ;D but we should all try to avoid that...
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Ha ha a load of bollocks and all, a load of bollocks and all
I like this a lot because some of it can be very true and it is such a hoot
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As PIL once said "It's all bollocks". But this is great. Buyer's Remorsis indeed!
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Thanks lillypilly and Adam - potty humour is fun IMHO.
Hope you don't get "Poster's remorsis" ;D ;D
Paul
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I read this when you first posted it, and was short of bandwitdth, so I never replied.
The last verse is true genius. . . and everything that precedes it sets it up perfectly.
Makes me think of an old, old joke about lawyers (but would easily be applied to politicians.)
The joke: "Have you heard that they have quit using white rats for research? They've started using lawyers instead. There are several advantages. First advantage is that research on rats doesn't really tell you exactly how a human would react. Second advantage is that the researchers sometimes get attached to the rats and hate to do things that could harm them. The final advantage is that . . . well, that there are things that a rat just won't do.
Oh. . . and btw. . . You think democracy is messy in CANADA? Ya oughtta live HERE right now. 'o)
BTW. . . some of my best friends are lawyers. ;o)
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Very funny. I love this for a protest song. It comes across like a late night comedian cracking jokes about the sad state of things - a needed laugh at the end of every bad news day. If it were a more serious protest song, I'd have commented some of the rhymes sounded forced. But they only add to the humor of the song, as I'm sure is your intent. Nice work. How in the world did it come in second to last? People need a sense of humor. :P
Why???
Coz it's fulla dog poops and pathetic poetry!!!
There's no dog poop in it. And, for what it's worth, Paulski missed out on a fairly gross bit of dog behaviour by NOT putting dog poop in it. What dogs sometimes do with dog poop (and particularly with kitty poop) is far more gross than drinking from the toilet. 'o)
That's why.
Jackdaw1888 :-)
There's no dog poop in it. And, for what it's worth, Paulski missed out on a fairly gross bit of dog behaviour by NOT putting dog poop in it. What dogs sometimes do with dog poop (and particularly with kitty poop) is far more gross than drinking from the toilet. 'o)