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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Acoust-D on September 13, 2011, 11:23:15 AM

Title: Opinions please
Post by: Acoust-D on September 13, 2011, 11:23:15 AM

This is one of my Originals
Its home recorded id value opinions

thanks

debzxx

Title: Re: Opinions please
Post by: The Corsair on September 13, 2011, 11:53:22 AM

I like the idea of it and the recurring themes in it, very well-done and poetic in that sense so well done!

My only criticism is that I find the repeated 'time, time ticks away slowly' goes on too long without much pause and the vocals seem too thickly tracked. For the firstset at least I think the single voice would do fine with the second set (at the end) being double tracked. It is a shame to say that the less polite part of me would label that part of the song as 'unpleasant'. I think it just needs a bit of restructuring and needs a few changes to the recording and it will be an incredibly beautiful track :)