The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: IronKnee on December 02, 2016, 06:14:37 AM
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Here's a new one that I hope you all like.
Any and all comments are welcome, and as usual, all first impressions are appreciated!
Thanks, in advance.
8)-Tom
“All By Myself”
by Tom Tognaci
http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=10203714
I deal with the loneliness
Like combing fresh cut hair
I convince myself that I’m alright
I can deal with the solitude
And the echo from upstairs
Now that the ghost is gone, I’m alright
I’d rather be alone and by myself
Than to be alone, while being with someone else
All by myself
Stowed way up high on some dusty shelf
All by myself
Just me, an island, unto itself
Some nights I reminisce
Back and forth in this old chair
Is it worth the lament?….is it really fair?
Black and blue is the emptiness
With a woman who can’t care
One thing that stands out, now, completely clear
I’d rather be alone and by myself
Than to be alone, while being with someone else
All by myself
Stowed way up high on some dusty shelf
All by myself
Just me, an island, unto itself
Some nights I reminisce
Back and forth in this old chair
Is it worth the lament?….is it really fair?
All I need is my poetry
And the music that I play
To stretch these untamed wings and fly away
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Beautifully recorded. Lovely harmonies, too. I like the verses more than I like the chorus, but I expect I'll be the exception - I just love the verses, so much. There's a lovely feel, the rhythms in the vocals are spot on. Very good indeed. But I'd expect nothing less :-)
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Classy,classy stuff Tom.
Harmonies are gorgeous. Do you use a harmoniser or just multitrack your vocals?
A lovely listen with no criticism from me at all.
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I, too, love the harmonies. I always love good harmonies. I would harmonize pretty much everything, if I could.
My favorite part is the first verse, especially the line "Like combing fresh cut hair". I didn't get it at first, thinking, "What does it mean to deal with loneliness like combing fresh cut hair?" Then I put it all together and now, to me, it means you convince yourself you'll be all right, which is like convincing yourself your fresh haircut will be okay, once you get used to it. Did I get it? ;D
No nits from me. Nice one! Again.
Vicki
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It's a good song, but I'd advise against using the title of another well-known song. I know there's no copyright on song titles but I can't be the only person who immediately thought of the Eric Carmen song based on the Rachmaninoff piano concerto when I saw your title (notably covered by Celine Dion). I don't actually like that song very much and prefer yours!
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Hi Tom,
Beautifully played acoustic and gorgeous harmonies are the highlights for me. I also prefer the verses to the choruses but I still love both. This reminded me of early solo Stephen Stills which is just about as good as it gets IMHO. Such a beautiful track and exactly the sort of music I choose to listen to at home. Totally wonderful in every way.
M
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Beautifully recorded. Lovely harmonies, too. I like the verses more than I like the chorus, but I expect I'll be the exception - I just love the verses, so much. There's a lovely feel, the rhythms in the vocals are spot on. Very good indeed. But I'd expect nothing less :-)
Hi Delb0y....thanks for stopping by. The chorus is the inspiration behind the writing of the verses. I'm surprised that the verses are more appealing ??? Why ?
Feel free to Pm me, or simply clarify in this thread ;D
Thanks, again!
Classy,classy stuff Tom.
Harmonies are gorgeous. Do you use a harmoniser or just multitrack your vocals?
A lovely listen with no criticism from me at all.
Hi Skub....Thank you very much for listening and commenting!
I simply record accompanying tracks ;)
I don't work with complicated equipment that short cuts any musical process. I play while I record....which is the reason why my productions are usually way under snuff!! :o
I, too, love the harmonies. I always love good harmonies. I would harmonize pretty much everything, if I could.
My favorite part is the first verse, especially the line "Like combing fresh cut hair". I didn't get it at first, thinking, "What does it mean to deal with loneliness like combing fresh cut hair?" Then I put it all together and now, to me, it means you convince yourself you'll be all right, which is like convincing yourself your fresh haircut will be okay, once you get used to it. Did I get it? ;D
No nits from me. Nice one! Again.
Vicki
You love the harmonies, but you favor the verses ??? I don't get it :)
I'm glad you like it Vickie, and thank you very much for the attention!
And yes.....you are spot on with the meaning of my lyrics. True life experience and feeling ;D
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You love the harmonies, but you favor the verses ??? I don't get it :)
Oh...oops--I didn't mean to say it that way...that line is my favorite of the words, but I like the harmonies of the chorus best for the music.
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Hi Tom
Great vocals and harmonies - and I liked the stereo echo effect.
Lyrics are really unique and thoughtful as well - good job.
I don't prefer the verses - it's all good IMO, but I would have cut the first chorus in half in the arrangement. I don't know why exactly, but that's what I would do.
Nice song!
Paul
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Great song Tom.
Have played this many times.
My favourite one of yours.
Sandeep
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Hey Tom,
Not sure which component it is which makes this stand out, maybe a wonderful coming together of them all?
Great guitar and melody, and lovely pace to it too. I'm getting a 'The Who' vibe personally, in it's epic understated delivery and great production and story.
Nothing constructive sorry, wouldn't change a thing.
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Hi Tom,
Cool song.
The vocals sound great.
The verses really are very strong. I just like the way the vocal works both in melody and how you've produced it.
The chorus is hooky and totally works, but I'm another for the verse.
Guitar provides a perfect backdrop.
Quality.
Digger
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Yo!
A Loggins/Messina vocal and harmonic feel....Nice fingerpicking glue...rollin' along tying it all together..... I keep waiting for a drum track to lift the energy a bit....doesn't need it, but I'm hearing it ...Excellent tune!
igg
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It's a good song, but I'd advise against using the title of another well-known song. I know there's no copyright on song titles but I can't be the only person who immediately thought of the Eric Carmen song based on the Rachmaninoff piano concerto when I saw your title (notably covered by Celine Dion). I don't actually like that song very much and prefer yours!
Hello Guy..........thanks for stopping by! I just couldn't get away from the given title........it just fits too well.
I don't like to use titles that have already been used.....especially, ones that belong to iconic tunes.
But....if the shoe fits! 8)
Hi Tom,
Beautifully played acoustic and gorgeous harmonies are the highlights for me. I also prefer the verses to the choruses but I still love both. This reminded me of early solo Stephen Stills which is just about as good as it gets IMHO. Such a beautiful track and exactly the sort of music I choose to listen to at home. Totally wonderful in every way.
M
It's always a pleasure to hear your generous and supportive commentary..........it is very much appreciated. Thanks Monty ;D
Do you prefer the verses to the chorus, in general.....or, is there something lyrically, or melodically, that stands out? :)
Great song Tom.
Have played this many times.
My favourite one of yours.
Sandeep
Thanks Sandeep......this just might be my favorite, as well......just maybe ;)
Hi Tom
Great vocals and harmonies - and I liked the stereo echo effect.
Lyrics are really unique and thoughtful as well - good job.
I don't prefer the verses - it's all good IMO, but I would have cut the first chorus in half in the arrangement. I don't know why exactly, but that's what I would do.
Nice song!
Paul
Hi Paul...thanks for stopping by ;D
Interesting idea with shortening the first chorus.....it has meret 8)
And thanks to all who have listened!
-Tom
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Very nicely done. I started to listen through the iPad speaker and quickly realised, no, this one deserves headphones and boy am I glad I did.
Very nice vocals, love the left/right effect, with some beautiful melodies and harmonies.
I might be tempted to add a bit more emphasis to the electric guitar on the solo but apart from that, really enjoyed it.
Yodasdad
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What a great opening two lines "I deal with the loneliness Like combing fresh cut hair". This has a great feel to it Tom. The harmonies are awesome. Great melody and lyrics compliment it perfectly. As usual Tom, top top shelf
John
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Yo Tom...love this song. The first thing that grabbed me were the lyrics...very poignant. The guitar picking, melodies, harmonies...all sublime. The songcraft is good as well, although like Paulski I would cut two lines off the chorus...I think its been said by that point. I love the vibrato on your voice, it is beautifully sung...although you didn't tweak it did you? ;D It doesn't matter anyway, because the end result is superb.
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Hi Tom
what a great line "like fresh cut hair". Very relateable and never heard it put that way before.
The reverb is a nice way to empahsise the "loneliness" too.
I think I might have tried not to have "myself" rhyming with "itself" but, as you say, some things just create themselves in a certain way, and that's my only slight questionmark anyway.
Very nice big sound on your voice(s) there!
All the best
Adam
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very classicaly classy my friend..everythings been said so wont say it again..you might get bigheaded...
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Hi Tom, love the vocals and the harmonies. At the start I wasn't too sure about the vocal effect but it grew on me through the track. Like the idea of the lyric and there are some great lines. How do you record the acoustic guitars without getting that 'rasping' metallic sound on the strings as you change chords/positions?
Excellent stuff!
Cheers
Jamie
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Hi
If someone asked me for an example of a singer/songwriter who really knew their craft I would direct them to your material.
Another superbly written, performed and produced song IMHO
I maybe wouldn't have used so much harmony on this one but it does enhance the atmosphere (but really, what do I know and judging by previous comments I'm 'on my own' with this opinion anyway!)
Lyrically brilliant and melodically elegant. I will be listening again (for inspiration!) and looking forward to your next
Phil
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Absolute class - at first I wasn't sure about the left/right vocals (listening through good quality headphones) but it grew on me - wonderful harmonies. I wouldn't change a thing and I will seek out more of your music!
Cheers,
Bill
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Hello IronKnee
Very nice song with great production and nice melodies. I laid back and enjoyed listening. May I'm missing a blowoff but it seems you conception for the song is without and anyway it is good without too.
Like it
Alexander
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Another cracker Tom, man you got style 8) great lyrics as always and the way you sing them really brings out the best in them, you need to do an open mic video man.
Also just a thought but i think you and Monty should team us together on a song, something about this that has me thinking that, as always really cool man 8)
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Hi Tom!
Yet again another acoustic masterpiece from you! I love both, the verse AND the chorus. ;D
Thoughtful lyrics, and a breathtaking melody.
I really liked the stereo echo on the vocals. A brave decision to use it, but it works out nicely. But. I feel that it would be even stronger if you were not using it all the time, but only in some parts of the song, to help achieve more dynamic. Lately I have been watching product videos for vocal effects, and they usually switch the fx on for special lines - which is a great effect. At least I think you could remove the stereo echo i the chorus, where to me it sounded like it was getting in the way of the harmonies. But please treat this as the mere suggestion it is ment to be.
Congratulations on this one!
Bye Wolfi
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Great song Tom.
Have played this many times.
My favourite one of yours.
Sandeep
Thanks sooooo much Sandeep....I really means alot!
Hey Tom,
Not sure which component it is which makes this stand out, maybe a wonderful coming together of them all?
Great guitar and melody, and lovely pace to it too. I'm getting a 'The Who' vibe personally, in it's epic understated delivery and great production and story.
Nothing constructive sorry, wouldn't change a thing.
Hi Scott....I appreciate you stopping by.....glad you like it!
Hi Tom,
Cool song.
The vocals sound great.
The verses really are very strong. I just like the way the vocal works both in melody and how you've produced it.
The chorus is hooky and totally works, but I'm another for the verse.
Guitar provides a perfect backdrop.
Quality.
Digger
Hi Digger......Thanks, man! I appreciate the positive commentary.
Yo!
A Loggins/Messina vocal and harmonic feel....Nice fingerpicking glue...rollin' along tying it all together..... I keep waiting for a drum track to lift the energy a bit....doesn't need it, but I'm hearing it ...Excellent tune!
igg
Hi Igg.....not too much for drums, unless a loop works...... :-\
I'm glad you like it, though.....I have a deep regard for your "stuff" ;D
AND THANKS TO ALL WHO HAVE LISTENED!!
8)-Tom
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Very nicely done. I started to listen through the iPad speaker and quickly realised, no, this one deserves headphones and boy am I glad I did.
Very nice vocals, love the left/right effect, with some beautiful melodies and harmonies.
I might be tempted to add a bit more emphasis to the electric guitar on the solo but apart from that, really enjoyed it.
Yodasdad
Thanks Yodsdad, for listening and commenting 8) I wanted to keep the elect. guitar subtle.....but, perhaps a couple of more decibels couldn't hurt ;) Thanks, again!
What a great opening two lines "I deal with the loneliness Like combing fresh cut hair". This has a great feel to it Tom. The harmonies are awesome. Great melody and lyrics compliment it perfectly. As usual Tom, top top shelf
John
Thanks John for listening and remarking about my opening line :) I appreciate it!
Yo Tom...love this song. The first thing that grabbed me were the lyrics...very poignant. The guitar picking, melodies, harmonies...all sublime. The songcraft is good as well, although like Paulski I would cut two lines off the chorus...I think its been said by that point. I love the vibrato on your voice, it is beautifully sung...although you didn't tweak it did you? ;D It doesn't matter anyway, because the end result is superb.
Hi M&R....thanks for stopping by ;) I appreciate all your comments....and no, I didn't tweak this. I most all of the time never spend a lot of time on my recordings. They either come out well, or they don't. It seems,the more I work on the recordings 8), the worse off they become :-\ :'( ??? :o
Hi Tom
what a great line "like fresh cut hair". Very relateable and never heard it put that way before.
The reverb is a nice way to empahsise the "loneliness" too.
I think I might have tried not to have "myself" rhyming with "itself" but, as you say, some things just create themselves in a certain way, and that's my only slight questionmark anyway.
Very nice big sound on your voice(s) there!
All the best
Adam
Thanks Adam 8)
very classicaly classy my friend..everythings been said so wont say it again..you might get bigheaded...
:o.................too late 8)
That's OK......I work for a living, so it never stays big for long :'(
Thanks, Shadow, for all your support!
And thanks to all who have listened!
-T
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I like this very much, nice and melodic only one nitpick
listening through a second time I felt that the chorus only needed the first three lines
cheers
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Hi Tom, love the vocals and the harmonies. At the start I wasn't too sure about the vocal effect but it grew on me through the track. Like the idea of the lyric and there are some great lines. How do you record the acoustic guitars without getting that 'rasping' metallic sound on the strings as you change chords/positions?
Excellent stuff!
Cheers
Jamie
Hi Jamie....thanks for stopping by and listening ;D
I practiced, a lot, focusing on chord transitions, and then finding ways of playing my chords in a way that was conducive to my changes. There are a couple of songs that I want to record, however, that is giving me some headaches...........I think I need a nylon string guitar for those particularly difficult ones ;)
Thanks for commenting!
Hi
If someone asked me for an example of a singer/songwriter who really knew their craft I would direct them to your material.
Another superbly written, performed and produced song IMHO
I maybe wouldn't have used so much harmony on this one but it does enhance the atmosphere (but really, what do I know and judging by previous comments I'm 'on my own' with this opinion anyway!)
Lyrically brilliant and melodically elegant. I will be listening again (for inspiration!) and looking forward to your next
Phil
Thanks, Phil, for the generous and up lifting comments! I really appreciate it.
It means a lot!
Absolute class - at first I wasn't sure about the left/right vocals (listening through good quality headphones) but it grew on me - wonderful harmonies. I wouldn't change a thing and I will seek out more of your music!
Cheers,
Bill
Thanks soooo much Bill for listening and commenting. I'm not much of a hand when it comes to recording :-\......I just feel my way through each tune I record, and pray it works ;D
Thanks again for the supporting comments.
And thanks to all who have listened!
-Tom
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Hello IronKnee
Very nice song with great production and nice melodies. I laid back and enjoyed listening. May I'm missing a blowoff but it seems you conception for the song is without and anyway it is good without too.
Like it
Alexander
Hey there Alexander........I'm glad you like it....but, have no idea what you were trying to say ??? :o
Thanks for listening and commenting :) I always appreciate the positive 8)
Another cracker Tom, man you got style 8) great lyrics as always and the way you sing them really brings out the best in them, you need to do an open mic video man.
Also just a thought but i think you and Monty should team us together on a song, something about this that has me thinking that, as always really cool man 8)
Thanks, man, for the time and comments. I'm glad you like the song.
I'm a fan of your work, as well!
Hi Tom!
Yet again another acoustic masterpiece from you! I love both, the verse AND the chorus. ;D
Thoughtful lyrics, and a breathtaking melody.
I really liked the stereo echo on the vocals. A brave decision to use it, but it works out nicely. But. I feel that it would be even stronger if you were not using it all the time, but only in some parts of the song, to help achieve more dynamic. Lately I have been watching product videos for vocal effects, and they usually switch the fx on for special lines - which is a great effect. At least I think you could remove the stereo echo i the chorus, where to me it sounded like it was getting in the way of the harmonies. But please treat this as the mere suggestion it is ment to be.
Congratulations on this one!
Bye Wolfi
Hi Wolfie............Thanks for stopping by......My productions and recording skills really pale, and that was one big experiment. 1+1's are sooooo much easier ;D
And thanks to all who have listened
8)-Tom
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Decent song well written performed and produced - enjoyed the whole experience.
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Cool song, very tasteful, with great harmonies. I was wondering if it would benefit from less or no vocal processing? The doubling effect is really clever, but I found myself marvelling at that at times, rather than listening to the song. Maybe strip it back to just guitar and voice, might give it a more organic feel.
Just a thought, but as everyone has already said, it's fine as it is too!
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I like this very much, nice and melodic only one nitpick
listening through a second time I felt that the chorus only needed the first three lines
cheers
Thanks Lillypilly.......you just maybe right!! ;D
Decent song well written performed and produced - enjoyed the whole experience.
And thank you,as well, Morefrog!!
Cool song, very tasteful, with great harmonies. I was wondering if it would benefit from less or no vocal processing? The doubling effect is really clever, but I found myself marvelling at that at times, rather than listening to the song. Maybe strip it back to just guitar and voice, might give it a more organic feel.
Just a thought, but as everyone has already said, it's fine as it is too!
It's hard to argue with Marvel 8)
Thanks Daniel for stopping by.................it is appreciated!!
And thanks to all who have listened!!
-Tom
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Hi IronKnee, I've said it before and I'll say it again, I am a big fan of yours. This is another song of yours that I would say is very well done. I like the melody,great harmonies, I like the guitar playing so lovely for me this song is a masterpiece and you "IronKnee" you're on fire right now. keep it up.
Irwin
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I've already heard this a numerous of times and wrongfully thought, no I was certain, I had commented on this already, but I just skimmed through the thread and didn't see my name so... :-[
Anyhoo, again a beautiful song of yours accompanied by a fab performance. Love the harmonies, wish I could do that too but harmonies are not my strongest asset. This inspires me to give it a go though. Powerful pop melodies in there too.
Loved the whole song and as so often happens with your songs I especially love the lyric part.
Overall s superb job! :D
S
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Such a sad song, about somewhere I know all too well, though luckily not for some time now.
Great guitar work and mellow, minimal production, kind of reminiscent to Hotel California.
Overall the song was on the same level all the way through and I was expecting/hoping for a crescendo to happen at some point. But a minor criticism on a great song.
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Hi IronKnee, I've said it before and I'll say it again, I am a big fan of yours. This is another song of yours that I would say is very well done. I like the melody,great harmonies, I like the guitar playing so lovely for me this song is a masterpiece and you "IronKnee" you're on fire right now. keep it up.
Irwin
Thanks Irwin for listening and making such a positively generous comment ;D
It's always appreciated....thanks, again!
I've already heard this a numerous of times and wrongfully thought, no I was certain, I had commented on this already, but I just skimmed through the thread and didn't see my name so... :-[
Anyhoo, again a beautiful song of yours accompanied by a fab performance. Love the harmonies, wish I could do that too but harmonies are not my strongest asset. This inspires me to give it a go though. Powerful pop melodies in there too.
Loved the whole song and as so often happens with your songs I especially love the lyric part.
Overall s superb job! :D
S
Thanks S.....alot of mu music has harmonies written into them....this one is one I wish I could do a lot more.
Thanks, again for your commenting!!!
Such a sad song, about somewhere I know all too well, though luckily not for some time now.
Great guitar work and mellow, minimal production, kind of reminiscent to Hotel California.
Overall the song was on the same level all the way through and I was expecting/hoping for a crescendo to happen at some point. But a minor criticism on a great song.
Thanks, Tim, for stopping by. I appreciate the thoughtful comments, and i am sooooo glad that you like my little song!
And thanks to all who have listened!!
-Tom
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Hi!
I'm new to this forum and these are my first words here.
My first impression is that this is in it's essence a country song.
Played by Pink Floyd. I like it but have you, if you have the possibility,
played it on piano? Straight and simple.
The lyrics are interesting but I think the chorus could be a little stronger
since it is repeated a few times. With stronger I think more of a contrast to
the form and sound of the verse. Maybe change the words around but keeping
'All by my self' line as a returning point.
I hope you appreciate my input.
Kindly,
Martin
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Tom,
My favourite one of yours, just love the simple three chords and those dripping harmonies - I'm getting Steven Still's, Mannassas or CSNY vibe here.
Wouldn't change anything
:) :)
Neil