The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Neil C on November 27, 2016, 11:59:12 AM
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Hi,
Here's the third tune I've written to Tom's lyrics. I wrote both this and Mr Marratty whilst on summer holiday in Corfu. The iPhone demo's have Cicada's all over them..
I like the energy of the end product and hope I've done his imagery and wordplay justice.
Look foward to your thoughts and thanks in anticipation.
https://soundcloud.com/neilconnor-2/gasoline-mix (https://soundcloud.com/neilconnor-2/gasoline-mix)
:)
Neil
I've got a head, and it's full of bees
And my legs they're made, they're made out of trees
My arms are wings made of many things
And my soul, baby, it's as black as coal
I've got a face and it ain’t got a frown
How can you laugh when you're killing the clown?
My feet are size nine and yes I opine
I’ve got a gasoline heart so set me alight
Gasoline, pour me a drink
I’ve been on the precipice I’ve been on the brink
Nearly went and threw myself into the void
If you've never had nothing then nothing's destroyed
Gasoline, pour me a drink
I’ve been on the precipice I’ve been on the blink
Nearly went and threw myself into the void
But I would have made my maker very annoyed
And my back Jack, runs down to my crease
Johnny's got a gun it's on quick release
Watch out Copper cos he's breaking the law
My frownless face, it ain’t got a flaw
I’ve got a head, and it's full of bees
And my legs they're made they're made out of trees
Seventeen sisters bring on the night
I’ve got a gasoline heart so set me alight
Gasoline, pour me a drink
I’ve been on the precipice I’ve been on the brink
Nearly went and threw myself into the void
If you've never had nothing then nothing's destroyed
Gasoline, pour me a drink
I’ve been on the precipice I’ve been on the blink
Nearly went and threw myself into the void
but I would have made my maker very annoyed
bees, trees, wings and things
too many dogs wearing diamond rings
bees, trees, wings and things
too many sticks and stones and too many slings
Gasoline, pour me a drink
I’ve been on the precipice I’ve been on the brink
Nearly went and threw myself into the void
If you've never had nothing then nothing's destroyed
Gasoline, pour me a drink
I’ve been on the precipice I’ve been on the blink
Nearly went and threw myself into the void
but I would have made my maker very annoyed
c McGann/Connor 2016
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Good song and usual good sound overall..my only crit is it could do with a bit of light and shade arrangement wise..
otherwise..crackin track mate.. :)
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Hey Neil,
Mr Marratty is one of my faves, and Tom's lyrics are always great so was excited after reading the first line of your post.
Good continuity through the verses and great instrumental & production work. I really enjoy your emphasis on "I've got a gasoline heart so set me alight" lines.
I agree with Kevin though I do think a little more light/shade with the arrangement would go a long way.
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Hi Neil
I can imagine this going down well in great music pub - by that I mean it's got a live music vibe going on. It really grooves along you know, I like the insistent rhythm and for me, it doesn't need too much light and shade, so long as the 'whole album' gave some contrasts. Really like your voice too. The lead guitar is competing in a crowded sonic space and imho could do with some eq and compression to help it shine a bit more.
Good one!
Bill
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Hi Neil, nice rocky little tune! Has a great live feel to it and it would be a real 'crowd pleaser' in a sweaty club! Nice playing as usual and great interpretation of the lyrical vibe. Marc Bolan revisited!
Nice one!
Cheers
Jamie
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Hi Neil,
Great vibe here... reminiscent of Heavy Fuel not sure how much light and shade Knopfler built into that...?
Great kicking atmosphere to this and good 'right out the box' :)
Phil
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Cool track Neil,somewhere between a rockin Quo and the more laconic delivery of Chris Rea.
I love Tom's mad wordscape too. :)
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Great track Neil.
Got a bluesy rocky feel about.
Could imagine ZZ top singing this.
Love the guitars and excellent lyrics
Sandeep
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Good, honest, ole time rock n roll. Great sound, this has everything that a song of its type should have, including my foot tapping And in the right setting I'm sure i'd be up dancing.
Nice work.
Yodasdad
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energy of a live band really cooking and chorus lifts superb takes flight neil
has something of 'back in the ussr' about it.. dont know why just struck me..
singing real well and pushing the fine lyric.. really good track
top chaps
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Hi Neil,
The quality of the musicianship and production goes without saying together with the confident vocals and solid lyrics. It's good old fashioned straight ahead rock and roll and all the better for it.
M
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I also got a ZZ TOP feel
I agree with the comment about it needing some "light & shade" - I think the song would have a bit more "punch" with less elements in the mix
The bridge was particularly nice though and it added the just the lift the song needed
Great drums!
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Well put together straight ahead rocker
Disagree re light and shade comments - thought was plemty. Nice over driven Guitar sound. Really enjoyed it.
Richard.
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Hi Guys,
A relentless rocker - just drives along full tilt.
It's got enough light and shade for me too. The bridge comes in nicely, there are great guitar interludes...
Vocal really suits this one.
Great playing as always.
Digger
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Hi,
I get the ZZ vibe big time....I think I'd like to hear the snare pulled up front and crackin' a bit more... A real peach of a rocker...Good times guys!!!
igg
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Hi Neil.....I like the song alot. Cool vibe, and the music shines. Your singing sits very well in the mix.
The lyrics are hard to follow, without actually reading along.....for me, anyways ;)
The music and performances are the stand-outs for me!!
Good stuff!
-Tom
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I love it when you rock Neil...with 10 pints down me Im sure I would be up on the tables dancing to this. Great rocking tune with a great chorus...cant think of what more to add to whats already been said.
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Great, swinging, no nonsense rocker! I love Tim's lyrics anyway so this was always going to be a good one, though sometimes I thought your vocal (very good sounding by the way) got a bit swamped in the guitars so I needed to be reading the lyrics.
But nothing much to add - guitar rock with some thought provoking images - a great marriage.
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Good dance tune! Clever words and melody that suits them well. This would be so fun to sing!
Great work!
Vicki
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Dear All,
Thanks all for listening and your comments. Sounds like it hit the mark in terms of a good old rocking tune to accompany Tom's fine lyrics. and thanks for the feedback on the vocals.
Some divide around light and shade and possibly the mix. I was trying to get it to be a powerful but more acoustic led, if i were to do it again i'd probably stick with twin electric guitars.
And to martyn - of to be able to drink 10 pints, those were the days....
:)
Neil