The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: pompeyjazz on November 17, 2016, 07:16:05 AM
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If you're having a bad day, feeling down or just want a bit of a chat and a cup of tea, you can always pop down to Gervais Salon. As well as having a team of award winning stylists who will pamper to your every hair care need this place is a social hub.
WARNING ! - This song contains scissors and hairdryers
https://soundcloud.com/pompeyjazz/gervais-salon
Gervais Salon
When you're weary
When you're hope is gone
Hold On
Fun fantastic, free elastic
Everything is free of plastic
You can get it on
Gervais Salon
Snip me, comb me
Lather me, Foam me
Snip me, comb me
Lather me, Foam me
When you're frizzy
If your hair is dank
That's rank
Free admission, nice condition
super highlights, full attention
Everything you want
Gervais Salon
Snip me, comb me
Lather me, Foam me
Snip me, comb me
Lather me, Foam me
Need a cuddle
Share your beauty tips
And tricks
Book up early
Dont go curly
He wont give you sad and surly
Everything you want
Gervais Salon
Snip me, comb me
Lather me, Foam me
Snip me, comb me
Lather me, Foam me
Let your dream live on
Gervais Salon
John Bradley - 2016
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Hi John, didn't expect this! Loved the Neil Tennant ish vocals with a nice guitar vibe too. Don't think I've heard this style form you before, but an interesting departure with a not too serious lyric. Good stuff!
Cheers
Jamie
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Great fun mate..you keep bangin em out, what are you on and can I have some??? ;D ;D ;D
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Well, that's different! You just keep experimenting with different sounds. I need to follow your lead.
I read through the lyric first and then listened. The sound took me by surprise. I think I was misled by the opening line: "When you're weary", which is the first line of "Bridge over Troubled Water", so that vibe was in my head. Of course, this is nothing like "Bridge".
I enjoyed the sound effects. For me, this is a novelty song, unexpected sound, somewhat humorous, light-hearted. My only nit would be the chorus all on the same notes and motif. And that's just me, as I get the feeling it provides a specific effect you're after. I would probably have lowered the motif a second for each pair of words, but that's just me and not important to your effect.
Vicki
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Good song John,
Got an 80s feel, I agree with the PSB comments.
Love the synths and sound affects.
Sandeep
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Floppy fringes! john this is amazing 1980s synth pop! ...now there was a music totally overshadowed by the fab hairstyles!
I love songs about hairdressers ...ive done two myself...& these lyrics are fabulous & totally my kind of thing
hey that is some realy tasty rhythm guitar going on
I would never dismiss this simply as a fun song ,I thought it was wonderful. ..so creative with such great things happening all the way thru ...I loved the sound effects particularly the plug hole at the end..classic !
you are the Mr Teasy Weasy of the home recording salon ;D
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Very quirky Pompey,
I'm getting a strong Pet Shop Boys vibe from this...Pet Shop Pompey!
The vocals and the arpeggiated synth were the highlights for me. The strings worked but I think they maybe need drenching in a bit more fx to blend in.
Nice work.
Yodasdad
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Hi John
I have no idea why - but I loved this!
Snip me, comb me
Lather me, Foam me
That's a hoot!
(Glad you didn't say "bl*w me!" ;D ;D Sorry!)
Paul
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Hello John this is a burner. Like what you have made. Reminds me on also on pet shop boys. Very well done. :)
Alexander
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Hi John,
Some cool synth sounds going on. The relentless beat works well.
Others have mentioned the PSB sounding vocal -totally agree. Another good job.
I thought some of the synth sounds were a bit overpowering in places during the chorus - or the vocal a touch low.
Cool tune.
Digger
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John! You sexy little synthy teaser you! ;D "Lather me" indeed, I bet you had someone in mind when you wrote this.
You went to town with the arppegiator here didn´t you? I think it works really well and I love the lyrics...although I do sense a little cynicism behind them maybe? All i was thinking about was Ricky Gervais though, which may have been your intention.
You really add to the arrangement with the guitar later on, and I would have liked to hear it more prominent early on, because it is beautifully played. Great track mate!
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Shaddappa Gervais :P
Brilliant stuff!
It's great fun and has the underlying genius that's evident in everything you do...a brilliant, irreverent and inventive song...
you're a remarkable talent...I think I've marvelled at you drive and enthusiasm before...it's especially impressive to a lazy bastard like me...you do an amazing job of bringing your fantastic ideas to life...there's such a warm, friendly, fun element to what you do...like a man who's seen it all and loved every minute of it
I can't wait to hear the next one from the pompeyjazz hit machine
Inspirational :)
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Wow John... this has all the markings of a timeless banger plus some!
Really groovy, fantastic chorus, and somehow the understated lyrics feel genius. Paul's pretty much summed up how I feel too and I don't have much to add, you seem to be able to switch it up so easily then no matter what you're doing, it comes out at such a high quality it's hard to believe.
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Hi,
Just echoing the above...more Pet Shop than Tennant etc...!! fabulously fun song but the 'fun' isn't used as a 'cloak' It pretty much excels in every department and is a hoot to listen to from the start. Brilliantly produced too!!
Thanks, it was a great listen
Phil
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Hey pomps.
We used to play The Hairdresser's Ball at the Hilton Hotel every year,it was not known as the gayest night of the year for no reason! :D Brilliant folk who all knew how to party without a handbook.
This song would have gone down a treat.
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A big thanks to all that have listened or reviewed this latest offering
Jamie - Yep - Not too serious - Like to keep moving on with different styles
Kev - Thanks mate - Think I'm just running on adrenaline
Vicki - It's supposed to be a fun song rather than a novelty song I suppose. I just got a bit carried away with it !!! Never thought of BOTW before !
Sandeep - Thanks - I LUUUUV synths
Tina - Thanks, that really made me laugh. Trouble is, once I get into the sound effects box, there is no stopping :)
Yoda - Quite a few people have mentioned PSB - I'll take that for sure
Paulski - You have a very dirty mind :)
Fischermans - Thank you - Hope it is a burner
Digger - Thanks, I really appreciate the synth feedback as you are one of the synth masters on this forum. Agree they are a bit overpowering at times esp in the chorus
Martyn - Lather me, foam me - It had to be done :) - Cynical - Moi ????
PaulAds - What can I say mate, what an amazing review, I feel quite humbled especially coming from a songwriter that I have the ultimate respect for
Scott - Wah ! - I'm starting to get overwhelmed now
Phil - Another amazing comment - Thanks so much
Skub - I'm sure they were some pretty amazing nights :)
Just off down the salon for a COT and a chat :) - Ooh - and might get my roots done as well
Cheers
John
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John,
Top tune. Lots of energy and lots of fun. Suits your vocal too.
Good job, now could you just take a little more off the side please?
:)
Neil
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Cheers Neil - Anything for the weekend ? :)
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sounds like a eurovision smash..in a good way ! the idea & lyrics inspired and
tracks energised like them duracell rabbits
great vocal as per..
hate handclaps on anything.. i know i know but just me
but in this case i'll let it pass
great track
diafollicly good pompey..
you must have been completely lacqered after recording this :)
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I never know what to expect from you which is a very good thing. This is very clever, funny and skillful lyrically and the chord sequence and musical setting is spot on. I'd have trimmed(sorry!) the musical interludes down a bit and I hate the handclaps to pieces but otherwise it's great.
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Unashamedly 80s pop! - great stuff
If you are going for these synthy type songs I would recommend looking in to "sidechain" compression to give some movement to those luscious pads - you can get them "throbbing" with the kick drum, which would sound great IMHO
Kudos to the funky guitars scratching away in the background
Great stuff
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Thanks guys !
Boydie - Strangely enough I was just looking at sidechain compression yesterday and have implemented it in my latest track. Nice one :)
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John - So good, beautifully orchestrated synths and crunchy guitars. That sequencer style backing is straight out of 80s Top of the Pops... I think it just works. The lyrics are brilliantly camp as well ("foam me"!)
Vocals sounding really good too.
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Very good. It nails the vibe that, I suspect, you were going for. Love the lyrics :-) But I must be honest, I was never one for synth pop back in the day and I'm still not so it doesn't quite hit the spot for me - but it's still very good. Just not something that I can comment on very fairly. I am impressed with the scope of your vision and ability, though. There are a number of folks on here - many, in fact - and you're one of them that have this ability to turn their hand to so many styles. I'm envious.
Cheers
Derek
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Yo,
Euro-Disco-Pop confection! So sweet and still it keeps pushing me around with those arpeggiated synths that pump and pump and never stop...Compelling stuff! Outstanding vocal!!
igg
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Hey there Pompy.....just stopped in to say hello, and to see what you've been up to ;D
A very lively and entertaining piece, I must say! Cool recording, and love the vocals...
Good, good stuff!
-Tom
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Great 80's disco track! And great lyrics. A little bit Donna Summer-ish (the backing not your voice!)
It seemed to dip a bit around the instrumental, about 1:30 - perhaps it could do with a bit of a solo? My old techno head wants to pump the compression up a tad more so that the kick comes thumping out - but perhaps I should really learn to deal with my flashbacks.... ;-)
But overall a fantastic song, well produced and a good listen. :-)