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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: TheButcher on November 14, 2016, 09:37:02 AM

Title: Ghost ship
Post by: TheButcher on November 14, 2016, 09:37:02 AM
Hello:

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/104187875/Ghost-Ship.mp3

ghost ship

the snow is falling on your scars
the wind is blowing through my heart

i fell asleep since we part
if i woke up today i know you d still be afar

on a ghost ship on a frozen sea
standin on the railing
waving her arms to me goodbye

you know i loved you so
but thats so long ago

staring at the sky, i know
time to let go


thank you for listening.

B
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: diademgrove on November 14, 2016, 01:37:10 PM
This is definitely my sort of music, reminds me of longing for lost love in the middle of winter, cold and chilly but somehow reassuring.

Well played and sung.

Impressed,

Keith
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: rightly on November 14, 2016, 04:43:44 PM
really good.
very sad.
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: Movin Flavour on November 14, 2016, 06:10:56 PM
Very moving and melodic song.


Great guitars vocals and love the production.

Good guitar solo too.


Sandeep
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: shadowfax on November 14, 2016, 07:18:54 PM
Got to me this did, quite beautiful actually...
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: AndyV on November 14, 2016, 07:34:57 PM
Makes me think of some stuff David Gilmore does, except maybe for the guitar style.

Not so keen of the vocal effects in the end, but that's just me. Overall a great song.
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: MartynRich on November 14, 2016, 11:24:12 PM
Excellent song Butcher...very moving. Love the whole performance, it really is delivered well and the song itself is wonderful. You´ve got some great guitars going on here - extremely tasteful with not a note put in there for the sake of it (something very difficult to find with guitarists). Reminded me in places of Radiohead, but much better.
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: Jamie on November 15, 2016, 09:03:34 AM
Hi Daniel, very nicely constructed and produced,love the instrumentation and arrangement. Vocals up to your normal high standard. Radiohead ish, which is a good thing! I can hear what you were trying to do with the vocal effect and it very nearly aces it, but not quite. Excellent stuff!
Well done!
Cheers
Jamie
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: kevysc on November 15, 2016, 12:43:10 PM
Really, really nice production, well done.

I love the guitar work and nice vocals effects. Pretty hard to find vault, excellent
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: pompeyjazz on November 15, 2016, 07:42:48 PM
Great ambience Butcher. I really like the feel of this. It's mellow sad yet powerful and strong and well thought out
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: tina m on November 16, 2016, 01:33:00 PM
I thought this was quite beautiful  & mesmerising..
the way you recorded it with the vocal effects & the minimal guitar was exquisite & made it realy atmospheric
the lyrics read a bit awkwardly but are fine in the song so it didnt realy matter (i guess english isnt your first language) but they work very well & are very moving
I thought it was beautifully sad & romantic & totally fabulous!  :)
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: montydog on November 16, 2016, 03:07:02 PM
Hi Butcher,

This has a wonderful ambiance to it - lots of space and delicate, subtle little things going on. Beautiful vocal and a lovely haunting, spare lyric.

Mesmeric as someone else said.

A lovely thing indeed.

M
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: JolieThePassenger on November 17, 2016, 01:14:13 PM
Lovely stuff.  I thought of Lambchop a couple of times while listening.

Well done!
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: TheButcher on November 19, 2016, 08:56:43 AM
diademgrove
Quote
This is definitely my sort of music, reminds me of longing for lost love in the middle of winter, cold and chilly but somehow reassuring.

Well played and sung.

Impressed,

:) very nice comment. thank you

Rightly
Quote
really good.
very sad.

haha; yes SAD - i love sad music. t y bro

Movin Flavour

Quote
Very moving and melodic song.

Great guitars vocals and love the production.

Good guitar solo too.

funny you mention the guitar solo. it was more like a rhythm guitar melody thing that played throughout the whole song (in the old version) - well...:)
thank you for the nice words

shadowfax

Quote
Got to me this did, quite beautiful actually...

:) thank you

AndyV

Quote
Makes me think of some stuff David Gilmore does, except maybe for the guitar style.

Not so keen of the vocal effects in the end, but that's just me. Overall a great song.

thank you.
The thing bout the vocal fx is:
It s a vocal pitcher. you can pick any note, which made me create this new melody. so, the composition doesn t exist without that fx. of course it s a matter of personal taste.
tx a lot for your time.

MartynRich

Quote
Excellent song Butcher...very moving. Love the whole performance, it really is delivered well and the song itself is wonderful. You´ve got some great guitars going on here - extremely tasteful with not a note put in there for the sake of it (something very difficult to find with guitarists). Reminded me in places of Radiohead, but much better.

Wow!! well, yeah, i m not a big fan of guitar solos...so, i try to play calm.
sounds like you really liked the song, wich is great :) tx man

Jamie

Quote
Hi Daniel, very nicely constructed and produced,love the instrumentation and arrangement. Vocals up to your normal high standard. Radiohead ish, which is a good thing! I can hear what you were trying to do with the vocal effect and it very nearly aces it, but not quite. Excellent stuff!
Well done!
Cheers
Jamie

thanks a lot Jamie.

kevysc

Quote
Really, really nice production, well done.

I love the guitar work and nice vocals effects. Pretty hard to find vault, excellent

haha; then just don t find vault... :) thank you

pompeyjazz

Quote
Great ambience Butcher. I really like the feel of this. It's mellow sad yet powerful and strong and well thought out

mellow, sad, powerful and strong....wow, that s a great review. makes me proud. thank you

tinam

Quote
I thought this was quite beautiful  & mesmerising..
the way you recorded it with the vocal effects & the minimal guitar was exquisite & made it realy atmospheric
the lyrics read a bit awkwardly but are fine in the song so it didnt realy matter (i guess english isnt your first language) but they work very well & are very moving
I thought it was beautifully sad & romantic & totally fabulous!  Smiley

yes, i heard the "atmospheric" thing quite often....for anyone who s interested in the technical aspect:

i take one of the main midi melodies, a piano or so what; (should be midi, cause it s more accurate - shouldn't t be chords, makes it messy).
Then i do A LOT of time stretching and reversing...you find really crazy melodies and sounds; and the always kinda fit.

as you know, i m working on the lyrics thing :)
tx a lot for your nice words and your time.

montydog

Quote
This has a wonderful ambiance to it - lots of space and delicate, subtle little things going on. Beautiful vocal and a lovely haunting, spare lyric.

Mesmeric as someone else said.

A lovely thing indeed.

man...so many great comments...thank you Alan.

JolieThePassenger

Quote
Lovely stuff.  I thought of Lambchop a couple of times while listening.

Well done!

THANK YOU and thank you everybody !

B
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: Bill Saunders on November 19, 2016, 11:56:19 AM
Like everyone else, I really like this. For me there is a Dave Gilmour influence but original too, not a copy. DG is one of my influences too, and a kind of hero, you've done a great job. I think you pulled off those vocals effects perfectly. I would enjoy hearing more in this style - it has actually inspired me to do something along these lines for my next project. Not easy to record acoustic guitars this well.
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: TheButcher on November 21, 2016, 09:29:24 AM
Thank you Bill;

Quote
Dave Gilmour influence but original too, not a copy

funny; gotta listen to some of his stuff; never heard of him :)

Quote
I would enjoy hearing more in this style - it has actually inspired me to do something along these lines for my next projec

thank you - PM me if you want info bout the vocal FX stuff.

I kinda worked a little more on the mix...no big deal, just to have the final version online.

Peace

B.

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/104187875/Ghost-Ship.mp3
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: rikgrimesisdead on November 22, 2016, 04:22:07 PM
i like it!! touching and makes you picture someone in your head
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: boolio on November 22, 2016, 08:38:09 PM
Hi,

Lovely atmosphere and melody with fabulously recorded acoustic which matched your strong vocal.
I would love to get half that production quality into my recordings!

Superb

Phil
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: Skub on November 23, 2016, 02:36:32 PM
Yo Butcher.

The start reminds me of that old vampire song Lady Eleanor by Lindisfarne.

It's a difficult format to pull off successfully,but your obvious confidence shines through and carries the song in a convincing manner.

A cool,well worked out piece.  :)

Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: Neil C on November 26, 2016, 09:25:00 AM
Lovely acoustic and delicate soundscape, all supporting your vocals.
Evocative and restrained.
 :)
Neil
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: TheButcher on December 03, 2016, 10:43:39 AM
Neil, Skub, boolio and rikgrimesisdead,

Thank you very much for your time and support. Boom !

Quote
Evocative and restrained

mhhh...

Quote
vampire song Lady Eleanor by Lindisfarne

couldn't t find the song but i LOVE Vampires !! :)

Quote
It's a difficult format to pull off successfully,but your obvious confidence shines through and carries the song in a convincing manner.

Wow; that s a great compliment....

Quote
i like it!! touching and makes you picture someone in your head

TY everyone

Love-Peace-sadness-and-merry-x-mas-time
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: Skub on December 03, 2016, 03:33:32 PM
Your google skills are weak Butcher!  :D
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: Boydie on December 04, 2016, 05:15:08 PM
I really like this

The vocal is perfect for the track

I like the space in the mix - although I think there is room to create some more space by EQing some of the elements a bit more

I wasn't a fan of the processed backing vocals - it took me out of the "acoustic" feel of the track, although I understand this is an artistic choice so not really a criticism
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: richmon on December 05, 2016, 08:57:59 AM
Great sound / production. Well constructed and arranged song. Lyrics suit the song.

Richard
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: Yodasdad on December 05, 2016, 11:13:53 AM
Very good indeed, I'd be proud of this butcher. Everything works beautifully, the melody, harmony, arrangement and production, even the vocoder/auto tune type effects on the vocals work and feel like they should be there.

Impressive.

Yodasdad
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: digger72 on December 05, 2016, 05:33:26 PM
Hi Butcher,

Great soundscape. Love the atmosphere behind the guitar.
A bit Radiohead, a bit Aqualung, etc - a really cool indie sound.

I like the weird vocal effect - it works great in contrast with your normal vocal. Carries the song perfectly.

Arrangement and production is spot on for me.

Brill stuff.

Digger
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: igg on December 05, 2016, 06:40:46 PM
Hi,

Excellent work...as usual from you...Great heartbeat captures and propels your lovely vocals straight to their mark!!  Spacious and spare at the same time...Another beautiful creation...

igg
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: adamfarr on December 06, 2016, 01:39:03 PM
Hi there - great stuff. The lyrics are really poetic and I like the fact that there's no very obvious chorus or hook. It makes it much more direct and "connective".

The music really created a mood to match. The drums are really really subtle which I also like - sometimes you don't even know they're there but I am sure they still serve their purpose. Great harmonies and I think the effects were quite daring, distinctive and efffective.

Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: TheButcher on December 16, 2016, 04:31:15 PM
adamfarr

Quote
I like the fact that there's no very obvious chorus or hook. It makes it much more direct and "connective".

thank you; yes; no real chorus here. tx a lot 4 the nice words.

igg

Quote
Excellent work...as usual from you...Great heartbeat captures and propels your lovely vocals straight to their mark!!  Spacious and spare at the same time...Another beautiful creation...

...as usual....haha. yeah, you should listen to my iPhone outtakes....haha.
thank yo very much; very appreciated.

digger72

Quote
I like the weird vocal effect - it works great in contrast with your normal vocal. Carries the song perfectly.

glad that most people liked it...it s just so much fun, playing around with these crazy harmonies...thank you digger.

Yodasdad

Quote
Very good indeed, I'd be proud of this butcher. Everything works beautifully, the melody, harmony, arrangement and production, even the vocoder/auto tune type effects on the vocals work and feel like they should be there.

Impressive.

boom! tx so much

richmon

Quote
Great sound / production. Well constructed and arranged song. Lyrics suit the song.

Richard

thank you Richard.

Boydie

I wasn't a fan of the processed backing vocals - it took me out of the "acoustic" feel of the track, although I understand this is an artistic choice so not really a criticism

well, yeah, gotta try new stuff...so. tx a lot Boydie :)

Skub


Quote
Your google skills are weak Butcher!  Cheesy

or too lazy....checking it out now.

TX a lot everyone

Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: Wolfini on December 17, 2016, 05:52:39 PM
Wow, this is great! Absolutely radio ready, sounds like a lot of the pro music I am usually listening to.

Very cool stuff!

Bye Wolfi
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: Morefrog Jones on December 19, 2016, 12:10:18 AM
Nice work - Really enjoyed it.
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: IronKnee on December 24, 2016, 07:54:41 AM
Don't know how I missed this one....I thought I had already posted!! :-[
Anyways..... asuperb tune and a lovely production. For me, a sorta Bowie meets ELO at the studio.
Very cool, Butcher.....a great tune!
                                                                    -T
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: awilhelmscream on December 26, 2016, 10:13:07 AM
Great lyrics and nice chord hunting chord progressing topped off with the twinkly melody behind it. Your voice fits the song perfectly and the build up flows very nicely.

Great winter tune :-D
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: TimCurtis on December 27, 2016, 11:22:46 PM
Really like this, probably because I think it sounds a bit Radiohead.  :)

Initially I thought it might be a bit of dull with just a strummed guitar but the production quickly took it off somewhere else.

Great arrangement and playing. Like the harmonies and the electronic voices. Love it.  ;D
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: Radio on December 28, 2016, 10:25:45 AM
Hi Butcher, I liked the track a lot. Heavy hearted and engaging. One for letting your mind drift away with.
Title: Re: Ghost ship
Post by: refusedrevival on December 28, 2016, 12:50:50 PM
Hi,

Good song and very well played, also the production is good.

refuredrevival