The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Jambrains on October 22, 2016, 05:01:31 PM
-
Been away for a while, real life took a fair share of my time and at the same time I sort of lost my mojo.
However, yet another collab with MonnoDB took care of that. She (obviously) did the vocals but also helped out quite a bit on the lyrics and I did the rest. And we had great fun doing it!
This is a bit of an odd number for me stylewise, I guess it could be described as Country-ish but I know next to nothing about country so I could be wrong. ;D
Anyway, as always, all and any input on any aspect of the song from writing to mix is very much appreciated.
https://soundcloud.com/jambrains/rolling-on
Rolling On
We made hell a place on earth
We throw what is precious in the dirt
As we roll on by
The things in life that come for free
we pass them by, we leave them be
As we roll on by
Rolling on
the wheels they keep on turning
Rolling on
cause passion made us blind
Rolling on
the strong ones just get stronger
and the weak ones just get lost
Blinkered eyes and covered ears
Keep on pushing through the tears
As we roll on by
Don't tip the scale, don't rock the boat
Keep pretending, stay afloat
As we roll on by
Rolling on
the wheels they keep on turning
Rolling on
cause passion made us blind
Rolling on
the strong ones just get stronger
and the weak ones just get lost
Let's call it now and both agree
There's no more us, just you and me
It's hard to quit, and to admit
Now's the time to end it
Rolling on
the wheels they keep on turning
Rolling on
cause passion made us blind
Rolling on
the strong ones just get stronger
and the weak ones just get lost
See my smile but not my pain
Hear me laugh as I try in vain
To keep rolling by
The game is up and we both know
Soon enough the cracks will show
As we roll on by
Chorus * 2
-
Very good song
the production seems perfect to me
I'm not very masterful in this producing lark, yet.
Good, insightful message. I don't know about country, sounds folk-pop to me.
Roll On!
:)
-
Fantastic to listen to such a wonderful song where you've clearly worked hard to make it an enjoyable experience for the listener..
this was just wonderful,
my nitpick (if i was to actually nitpick such a fab song) would be that maybe the drums could change a little at around 1.30 or when that excellent guitar break starts...but, hey..clutching at straws!!
who cares what genre it is or might be..in any genre it's a fine piece..
FABFABFABFABWORK...
best, Kevin :)
-
Lovely song.
Love both the guitars and the vocals.
Good meaningful lyrics.
Jambrains....showing great diversity in your songs😎😎👍
Yeh like this!
Sandeep
-
Nice, catchy melody and rhythm. Production sounds fine to me...certainly light years better than anything I know how to do. I am partial to songs that have an understandable message or story that I can follow easily, so kudos in that department, as well. No nits from me.
I like it!
Vicki
-
Hey guys ;D
Excellent song....really does roll along well ;D
Lovely gtr playing, really like how you've mixed
it. The little flourishes and the solo give it a nice
lift.
My only thoughts were that it could have done
with a bit of an intro.....just taste, it works well
enough without.
The complete package ;D loved it...
-
Great stuff guys. I was surprised initially bt your change in styleee Mr Jb but it works perfectly. Vocals are sensational :)
-
this is fabulously produced! theres so many layers of instruments & they all work so well together...what a labour of love
lovely guitars everywhere ,...I realy loved the acoustic guitars left & right playing together magically
& fab guitar solo with a gorgeous ringing tone reminded me a bit of mark knopler
I couldnt help feeling a higher key would have suited the singer better.. it seemed a bit low for her?
& im sorry jambrains but I didnt think your backing vocals were quite right for the chorus
but all that aside it was still fantastic :)
-
This is really great. Awesome song writing and a pro level production. Perfect vocals for the subject matter.
I think the country impression comes from the bass line, but I feel like the vocals sound too sophisticated for country.
My only nit with the production would be that in some places the picked guitars on the left and right don't get along too well, eg. at 1:27-1:30 or at 2:40. But they fit fine in the chorus and instrumental break.
5 out of 5 from me, Bye Wolfi
-
Hey there JB.
Firstly I love me some of the fearsome Monno,she's a welcome asset to any song. 8)
I love the country/pop vibe,very infectious and singalong without being trite or instantly disposable.
Lovely tasteful Knopfler style solo,you got me there,I'm an easy touch for MK.
The bar is set high with this one,it's a credit to you both.
-
WOW.... I've been missing your songs on this forum for awhile.
This one might just be your best instrumental that I've heard. LOVED the country/Rock/Folk fusion. (At least that's what it sounded like to me.)
I've finished the Karaoke Version of "Run Until they Catch You" and it's very highly regarded wherever I do it. I'm trying to Get "The Prison" done in the next two or three days.
I'd LOVE to "Karaokeize" this one. If I were to do that, I'd leave her vocal in it and just sing along. We have (I think/hope) very compatible voices if I'm hearing it right. And it sounded to me like her vocals were a little too low in the mix anyway. . . leaving room for another "sing along vocal."
Let me know if that all would be okay. And let me know if you want e-mail copies of the CDG and/or BIN files for the other two songs.
-
Nice work Jamb, nice catchy chorus and great vocals.
Country folk, is that a Genre? I don't know but if it wasn't I think you've just created it.
I can't help wondering what it would sound like if the accordion type sound were replaced with harmonica. I think it would strengthen the country vibe if that's what you're after but I kinda get the feeling that you just wrote a song and it ended up sounding country?
Either way, I enjoyed it.
Yodasdad
-
Rightly, Movin Flavour, CaliaMoko, pompeyJazz: thanks a lot for taking the time, very much appreciated!
Shadowfax, thank you my friend. Regarding the drums, yes I see what you mean and I had the same though myself but I was unable to find something that worked better so I just let them roll along ;-)
Binladeda: thanks! I thought the part before the first verse worked as an intro but maybe I'm missing the point? ???
tinam: we tried a numer of keys and it was this one or one semi up that worked for Karen but I preferred the the lower of the to since (to me) the lower register is where her voice relly shines. Regarding my BV, I hear you, toned it down a bit in the new mix.
Wolfini: yes, the two guitars one being an electric actually) are not 100% sync but I let them be since it adds "wideness" to the mix that is partly lost if they are perfectly in sync (or maybe I'm just lazy...)
Skub: thanks, a sort of MK vibe was exactly what I was after. Not that I'm anywhere near the maestro... >:(
HardTwistMusic: thanks for the kind words! I'll get back to you in PM.
Yodasdad: spot on: I just wrote a song and it ended up sounding country so I did not start out trying to do a specific genre, it just happened to end up like this. Agree about the harmonica, to bad I can't play it :(
To all: I have updated the original link with a new mix that (imo) is crisper and with the vox more clear/defined.
-
Sorry JB......of course there's an intro ;D
Don't know what I was talking about ::)
It's a classy song my friend...
-
I like this, man..........this has a nice easy message, carefree and floating, complete with a Dire Straights like instrumental!
Good stuff!............
8)-Tom
-
This is great work Jambrains. Excellentely arranged and produced...I have a soft spot for this type of folk. It definitely ain't country. All the instrumentation blends together superbly and the chorus is a real hook monster. This is one to get up and boogie to. Great guitar as well.
-
Very nice listen. More folksy than country to me. It really rolls along well. I shall have to come back and listen with the headphones on as, on the PC speakers, it feels like the various volumes and instrumentation sometimes fight for the same space. But that's a minor point - a cracking song.
-
fantastic production, JB
yeah - i thought maybe more folk than country...but what do i know about either :D
loved the guitars, as i always do with your stuff
a pretty cool head-nodding toe-tapper...well done you two :)
-
@binladeda: I told you there was an intro, did I not? ;D
@IronKnee: thanks for taking the time to listen and comment
@MartynRich, @Delboy & PaulAds: OK, not country, lets settle for folky then and thanks for the kind words.
-
Hi
This is just fabulous! Cannot really say anymore...a really excellent and thoughtfully constructed song.
Phil
-
It's classic folk. Jaunty and catchy. Well done guys!