The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: shadowfax on August 16, 2016, 01:01:34 PM
-
Hi all... :) :)
Guy trying to make it with a girl and she just laughs at him..ah well..everything normal then.. ::)
https://soundcloud.com/knmac/let-me-show-you
if you take a listen..I thank you.. :) :)
Do you believe I cannot help you love along the way,
when all that you can see, makes you afraid,
A darkened sky looks down on you I know you feel the need,
I can show you things you oughta see,
your all alone,
let me take you home,
I'll show you how I feel,
you know my love is real,
let me show you x4
Girl laughing..
The danger zone is in your eyes I see you turn away,
I guess I'll never feel your love today,
your all alone,
let me take you home,
I'll show you how I feel,
you know my love is real,
let me show you x4
Girl laughing..©KNmac
best, Kevin :) :) :)
-
I'm hearing The Who's Won't Get Fooled Again during the intro, but then it's a whole different thing. The kick drum makes it all throb throughout and there's a very '80s feel to it all. Electronic keyboard work has never been on my list of favorite things, but then again I play guitar......so......
I'm thinking maybe this is the kind of tune I should take a pass on............
-
I'm hearing The Who's Won't Get Fooled Again during the intro, but then it's a whole different thing. The kick drum makes it all throb throughout and there's a very '80s feel to it all. Electronic keyboard work has never been on my list of favorite things, but then again I play guitar......so......
I'm thinking maybe this is the kind of tune I should take a pass on............
Reckon you need to take another listen to 'Wont get fooled again' mate :) it sounds nothing nothing like it..
-
No need to get all defensive, sir. The intro does bring that Who song's intro to my mind and that's no slight, just an observation. It doesn't offend me that you might think it derivative, but I do think it quite childish of you to post the Sweet Alabama reference on the other thread, in some kind of tit-for-tat retaliation, I suppose. Being part of the community here requires participation......I have obviously participated in the wrong place. I meant no offense to you nor your song......it's just not my cup of tea and I thought I made that clear. I'll be mindful of which tunes I make comment on in the future.
-
Not getting defensive mate...it just does not sound like the Who's 'Wont get fooled again'..thats all :) :) :)
your song does sound like Sweet home Alabama and I felt able to give a more ..shall we say, frank critique because you set the pace with your frank critique..so whats the problem..? non here
I will not be childish and avoid your next song..i'll give it a listen, if it's good I'll say so.. :) :)
-
Stop arguing you two ;)
I like this song a lot but it had to grow on me a bit. At first, I wasn't getting into the groove but the more it built, the more I became a fan of it by the end. I think it was as you built the layers of sound throughout, that it grabbed my attention more. I especially like the layered guitar at the end underneath the synths (If they weren't synths themselves that is). The girl laughing bit is a nice touch.
Maybe kick it more at the start, but apart from that I really liked it.
-
The Shad is back :)
This is a bit of a grower Kevin, I like the driving bass underpinning the song which really drives it along and the Spanish guitar effect. It's a wonderful piece on 80's synth pop. It's not an immediate song but when you listen a couple of times it really grows on you. Good to have you back on the forum mate :)
Cheers
John
-
I enjoyed listening to that. Sounds all innocent and yes a common scenario. I do also get a Pete Townsend vibe from it. Only vaguely though.
I wish I could get into adding all those instruments on my tracks.
Thanks.
-
Hey there Shadow.......
Nice to hear a new one. For me, there is a faint taste of the Who power, here.......but, don't ever think that I'm piling on.....I get that all the time, myself, and that's just how we relate to music. To me there are three types of songs: ones that sound so cliché that it is not worth getting into (so I'll just be nice), ones that are rocking, and reminds me of one of my favorites, and then there are those that are so unique, that it becomes apparent right away. The latter two, are the songs that are most palatable, to me, and really worth listening to ;).
It's a good tune, and I always enjoy what you bring.
Good one!
8)-Tom
-
I enjoyed listening to that. Sounds all innocent and yes a common scenario. I do also get a Pete Townsend vibe from it. Only vaguely though.
I wish I could get into adding all those instruments on my tracks.
Thanks.
Hi mate, thanks for listening....there are only 2 synths, bass, power chord guitar and my wife laughing at me...and drums of course..
-
Hey there Shadow.......
Nice to hear a new one. For me, there is a faint taste of the Who power, here.......but, don't ever think that I'm piling on.....I get that all the time, myself, and that's just how we relate to music. To me there are three types of songs: ones that sound so cliché that it is not worth getting into (so I'll just be nice), ones that are rocking, and reminds me of one of my favorites, and then there are those that are so unique, that it becomes apparent right away. The latter two, are the songs that are most palatable, to me, and really worth listening to ;).
It's a good tune, and I always enjoy what you bring.
Good one!
8)-Tom
cheers Tom, no prob being compared to other artists at all...just thought it was a weird comparison after checking out the Who...they don't sound anything like 80's pop..ah well ???
-
Stop arguing you two ;)
I like this song a lot but it had to grow on me a bit. At first, I wasn't getting into the groove but the more it built, the more I became a fan of it by the end. I think it was as you built the layers of sound throughout, that it grabbed my attention more. I especially like the layered guitar at the end underneath the synths (If they weren't synths themselves that is). The girl laughing bit is a nice touch.
Maybe kick it more at the start, but apart from that I really liked it.
Hi mate, thanks for the listen, all synths 'cept for the power chords...
-
The Shad is back :)
This is a bit of a grower Kevin, I like the driving bass underpinning the song which really drives it along and the Spanish guitar effect. It's a wonderful piece on 80's synth pop. It's not an immediate song but when you listen a couple of times it really grows on you. Good to have you back on the forum mate :)
Cheers
John
Hi John, thanks for listening mate...always fascinating how different peeps hear different things in a song...never heard spanish guitar but now mention it...HHhhmmm :) :) :)
-
Kevin,
Like this a lot.
Love the synth sound.
Definitely one to be sitting down chilling to, with a glass of red in my hand.
The production on the singing is excellent, but the voice still has a raw feeling.
All the emotion is picked up.
Sandeep
-
nice to hear from you again, Kevin
i'm a massive Who and Townshend fan...we were talking about bringing Won't Get Fooled Again back into the set...i didn't hear any connection at all...just goes to show...we all hear different things
a good solid number...your stuff is always really well performed and produced :)
-
Yo Kevin,good to hear something new from ya.
In a lot of ways this is a slightly different song from yourself,I'm hearing all sorts of classic OMD style fills,yet with Rush overtones,your voice hovers close to late/current Geddy Lee tones. Clack a set of mole grips on yer nads for the early Rush. :D
Love the song,is it possible for you to punt out a bad choon? 8)
-
Yo Kevin,good to hear something new from ya.
In a lot of ways this is a slightly different song from yourself,I'm hearing all sorts of classic OMD style fills,yet with Rush overtones,your voice hovers close to late/current Geddy Lee tones. Clack a set of mole grips on yer nads for the early Rush. :D
Love the song,is it possible for you to punt out a bad choon? 8)
Yep!!do it regularly...just don't post em.. ;D ;D
thanks for listening mate...
-
i dont know how i missed this kevin...i think i mustve thought it was your last song got bumped back up ..
anyway my first thought was The Who ;D... no you know what it is its that arpeggiated synth at the start it sounds like the sort of tremeloed organ at the start of Wont get fooled Again thats all
anyway i love that pounding bass & the synth that sounds like a guitar?
its not as immediate as a lot of your songs but it is very catchy as always ...you seem to be going in a synth pop direction lately & mixing the guitars low
i think you should spend more time getting a good lyric now & then....i know youll probably say pop music doesnt need good lyrics & you are right but a realy good story occasionally would make a different impact like a change of style
-
strong vocal as is your way kevin .. thats the thing and youve got it mate
lyrics not aimed at me but can imagine it going down a storm with steaming night club crowd
got that vibe about it
ididnt get any who references but then had a sheltered life i suppose
-
Hey Kevin
Good to hear your stuff again - love your voice to bits man - where can I get me one of those? First thing I thought of was - is this a Who song? - JUST KIDDING!! :) :)
Sounded like a Shadowfax song to me - and a damn good one at that.
Lyrics are direct and simple - worked for me.
Paul
-
I also could discern a "The Who" vibe. That's a real positive for me.
The intro/Lead-in was a real departure from your norm. GOOD FOR YOU. It adds a lot to your sound to have a little surprise thrown in somewhere.
As always, I loved the song. You have a real gift.
-
Hmmm, maybe the vocals should be more prominent in the mix? I think it would help someone like me understand the lyrics without too much effort. It sounds like compressed in some way, I'm not sure how to put it.
Other than that I love the cool-chill vibe of the piece, and really love that "laugh" at the end of the track!
8)
-
At the start your music remind me of the last time i was in a cinema a few years back they had sound effects all over the place but then your vocals came in and it was really nice listening.
You got a great night club sound/song here and what i would suggest is find a night club DJ and give it to him/her and let them do what they're good at.
-
Lovin this ;D ;D
Right up my street. Love the groove and all that
reverse stuff. Works really well with that powerful
synth melody, and when those power chords kick
in around 2.20, it goes to another level ;D ;D
Excellent work.... loved it ;D
-
Sincere thanks to you guys for taking time to listen and comment... :) :) :)
-
I also could discern a "The Who" vibe.
For me, there is a faint taste of the Who power, here......
So it's not just me that hears a little Who in the intro, and it's no slight of the song at all.....just the sound that triggers a memory of the intro to Won't Get Fooled Again. And, as I said, it does go off in an entirely different direction and otherwise bears no resemblance to the Who tune. It's not unusual at all for a piece of a song to call to mind another piece of a different song.....there's no foul in that. Yours is a good song. Peace.
-
Yeah..peace my friend. I still don't think it sounds like the the Who though.. ;D ;D ;D
peace..
-
I really don't know how you do it, mate. One after another they come these fabulous songs of yours with seemingly little effort.
I love the "feel" of your recordings - it's hard to describe but they just pull you in and they are all different. This has a great, rolling vibe riding that bass line. Lovely little details like the girl's laugh and the unusual keyboard sounds that you use. I could go on but you really should be a star.
Bloody wonderful.
M