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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Works in Progress => Topic started by: Wicked Deeds on September 23, 2020, 08:03:46 PM

Title: Wasn't
Post by: Wicked Deeds on September 23, 2020, 08:03:46 PM

I planned to visit my children in the northeast this week.  The local lockdown ruined my plans. Unfortunately, the hotel booking had to be cancelled and so I wrote this song yesterday.

https://soundcloud.com/pvasey1/paul-wasnt-mastered

"Jesus in the bath."

Title: Re: Wasn't
Post by: pompeyjazz on September 23, 2020, 08:23:49 PM

I had the pleasure of listening to this earlier Paul. I think it's an absolutely fabulous piece of music @Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231) The simplicity is the winner here. The harp is gorgeous and just so suitable for the subject matter. Top quality writing and song delivery Paul  :)

Title: Re: Wasn't
Post by: Wicked Deeds on September 23, 2020, 08:33:16 PM

@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269)

I was hurting and so  I wrote this song. I continued to hurt and so I posted it under works in progress. Today, I cobbled a  drum track together. It will go on to be fully produced and it will be an honour if you become involved with this  project.

Thank you



Paul

Title: Re: Wasn't
Post by: pompeyjazz on September 23, 2020, 08:49:03 PM

It would be a pleasure @Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231)

Title: Re: Wasn't
Post by: CaliaMoko on September 23, 2020, 09:05:13 PM

Yes, I love the harp. I look forward to the finished product. This is very lovely.

Title: Re: Wasn't
Post by: Wicked Deeds on September 23, 2020, 09:14:52 PM

@CaliaMoko (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19928), thank you so much.

I'm going to record the vocal again. Note to all writers, don't live in an old single glazed house on the corner of a busy street in a bustling town.  My first vocal was the best take but the cars could be heard whizzing by. They can still be heard on this second take. I will need to record again in the middle of the night.  :o

Paul

Title: Re: Wasn't
Post by: adamfarr on September 24, 2020, 09:29:01 AM

Fabulously honest and emotional. Sounds like you're lucky to have each other; I'm sure you knew it before, but nothing like a barrier to hammer home these feelings. Hopefully not long now.

I wonder if the title should be "Wasn't I?"

Title: Re: Wasn't
Post by: MichaelA on September 24, 2020, 09:41:17 AM

Very touching Paul and delicately executed. I like those paused chords a lot and the lullaby nature of the melody.

I don’t think it needs much else tbh, as sometimes pure and honest songs like this are best in a simple form.

‘Jesus in the bath’ , made me smile that!

Hope you get your visit soon, at least this lovely song is a little compensation for missing out.

Title: Re: Wasn't
Post by: Wicked Deeds on September 27, 2020, 06:59:48 PM

@adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124), thanks my wondered too. Perhaps it should be called 'Wasn't I.'

@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274),  thanks for listening.  I'm pleased that you enjoyed the song.


My dear friend Andy Cruise @Kafla asked if he could have the vocal and harpmfiles to practice his production and so a sent them on with a drum track for extra measure.   He's a dark horse because he told me not to expect too much and so I thought ok, I don't mind if you have a go at this one.  The production that he sent, reduced me to tears. It would have been in the finished songs category but I've just posters a new one there. If you'd like to take a sneak preview, click on the l No above to hear Andy's beautiful interpretation with bass, piano and the most wonderful string section.

Paul

Title: Re: Wasn't
Post by: 5 guys named Lars on October 10, 2020, 07:49:31 AM

I love this song @Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231) .The lyrics work really well with the melody & the strings/harp sound are wonderful.
I think "Jesus in the bath" would be a good title actually. Lovely song.

Title: Re: Wasn't
Post by: Wicked Deeds on October 10, 2020, 03:28:51 PM

@5 guys named Lars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22535),

Thank you. I too considered 'Jesus in the bath as an alternative title for this song. So pleased that you enjoyed listening. Once again a big thank you to @kafla (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=6905).

Paul

Title: Re: Wasn't
Post by: PeteS on October 10, 2020, 10:33:45 PM

Loved the original version Paul, but where’s the full version, I can’t find it!

Title: Re: Wasn't
Post by: Cazrolina on October 12, 2020, 11:10:58 PM

Beautiful, clever. Love the intro. Fabulous choice of instruments. When the strings come in, that's some fine listening right there. Nice space between everything too. SO good. Top work Paul and Kafla. Great team work. :) cx

Title: Re: Wasn't
Post by: Kafla on October 14, 2020, 03:26:14 PM

Thank you @Cazrolina (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20891) 😛

And welcome back...even though I never knew you were away 🤣😎