The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: kevysc on July 09, 2020, 09:41:02 AM
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It's been quite a while since I have been here and it's nice to see that many of the old regulars are still posting!
I recorded this one recently and would love to get some feedback ...
LET THIS BE A WARNING
https://www.reverbnation.com/kevinism/song/31960022-let-this-be-a-warning
Let this be a warning
I can feel it in the ether
There's something on the way
I can hear it in the sounds of the distant crashing waves
I can see it in the faces of the children who don't play
I can taste it, I can touch it
And it's never going away
Let this be a warning
Let this be a warning
I've been lost amid the chaos
I've been broken by the storm
In a million tiny pieces
Where my thoughts begin to form
Somewhere out there someone's waiting
For the chance to steal the game
And we won't be here forever
Things will never be the same
I don't know just what to say to you tonight
I don't know just what to say to you tonight
Let this be a warning
Let this be a warning
Let this be a warning
Let this be a warning
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Very interesting and mysterious sound to this one, Kevin. I got a little Aha/Eric Carmen vibe from the sound of it. Some very cool vocal effects you have here, and like the sound of the synth!
Good work :)
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hola @kevysc (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19775) ysc
it's a song full of styles, an interesting fusion, that's the truth
My ear asks me that your voice has less reverb, to integrate it with the instrumentation, and that the instrumentation has more reverb, this would balance everything, well, it is my way of seeing or hearing it.
The lyrics, today, could be applied to many things, especially to a very current one, but since everything is subjective and personal, perhaps it is not that, but whatever it is, it is very descriptive.
Be safe!
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I absolutely love this Kevin. Probably because it makes me think of Bowie. You have got a real knack of capturing some of the essence of the Legendary man. My only critique is that some of the effects from time to time feel a bit overpowered. They suppress the vocals a tad. Perhaps a tiny tweak to the Balance in the mix could fix this.
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Nicely done Kevin.
I was so intrigued by the lyrics I had to listen.
I also listened to
Into the arms if the faithless.
Inspiring stuff.
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@kevysc (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19775)
Hi, took me about 1.30 to get a handle on this. Once I could see where it was going I really enjoyed it. Real Bowie/Associates feel to it, love it! My only comment would be to bring the vocals up in the mix as they're too good to be hiding back there....
Nice one!
Cheers
Jamie
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Many thanks for taking the time to give good, constructive feedback, it always helps me improve!
@moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233) @mickyplankton (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20769) @Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125) I have played around with the mix, including taking some reverb off the vocals .. let me know what you think (I'm still not sure ...)
@rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) thanks for also listening to "Into the Arms ...." , much appreciated.
Kevin
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Hi
I really enjoyed your song its got great electronic soundscapes and washes backed by a great rhythm track. I think its got a good chorus.and you have good voice that suits the mood of the doomy dystopian lyrics.
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Hey Kev, welcome back. This has a really interesting avant-garde feel to it. Standouts for me are the percussion, and actually I liked the way your voice sounds low in the mix... as if you are standing a few feet away from the mic. For me that added to the unconventional, dystopian feel of it. Some great lines in the lyrics - particularly the one about "children who don't play" stuck with me. I get the Bowie comparison Mickey made too... could be from the Earthling album.
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@kevysc (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19775) - A lot going on right from the off, I'm listening for the first time while I write, I LOVE the vocal, both the melody and the verb, I get the Bowie thing.
The only thing I'd change is the synth filtered arpeggio, to me it's a distraction, It's a great idea, but |I can imagine the song much stronger without it and splashes of something else.
Welcome back and it's always a pleasure to hear your work Kev.
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Some very interesting stuff going on in this track supporting the scary lyrics, my only crit is that it lacks light and shade, the song ends as it starts, otherwise stirring stuff. :)
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A track that is seeped in 80's nostalgia. Most prominently, I can hear the influence of Thomas Dolby. Pure retro my friend. An interesting listen and reminder of the decade that I enjoyed and absorbed so many musical influences.
Paul
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Hi Kev,
Nice to hear you again ;D. I'm a huge Bowie fan, so this got me from the off. Loved it.
Great groove and atmosphere, lovely production. I've spent a very enjoyable 30mins listening to your playlist,
and I'm still there ;D. Thanks.
The only thought I had, was that the constant arp synths got a bit too much, needs a bit more contrast....somewhere ;D
I can hear some big, distorted power chords, strategically placed, working well here.......or not ;D ;D
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Vox is the stand out for me, love it!!!
Interesting soundscape but I think it would work just as well if not better with a guitar/bass/drums setting?
Or maybe it is just me feeling a little lost in the electronic landscape?
Very enjoyable in any case, a fine mix, perhaps lacking a little low end but that could be the instrumentation and not the mix.
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Many thanks for the extra comments ... I have posted a re-mix, moving the ARP into the background and bring my vocals more to the front. ( I got a new version of my DAW software and I think I got carried away the with ARP functions : ) )
@PaulyX (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21034) ... thanks, and yes I was aiming towards the Earthling -era vibe
@cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308) ... great suggestion : I have moved the ARP into the background, other than the intro and fade out and agree it works much better
@Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231) ... I love Thomas Dolby, so will take that as a compiment!
@Binladeda (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18620) .... many thanks for taking the time to listen to some of my other tracks, much appreciated. (I am planning to release an album onto Spotify in about a month that will have 4 or 5 of the latest ones). Also, thanks for the suggestion wrt the ARPs, which I have taken on board. Tried some power chords, they didn' quite hit the spot, but I had fun playing around!
@Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875) .... I am having fun playing around with snyths at the moment, although I agree it could work as a standard rock tune as well. (So many ideas, so little time :) )
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@kevysc (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19775) - happens a lot with new features in software people go straight to them, and often fly past more useful existing ones...
I’m more guilty than most 8)
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Love this one! It started slowly for me but very soon got into it and the anxious percussion that really underpins everything. I think I've heard a couple of mixes and really like the current one. Very much like the simple chorus - it needs no more words.
Very cool.
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Cheers @adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124) , much appreciated. I think the mix has improved with the feedback from here ... I don't take every suggestion, but I always feel I get useful, constructive ideas which I guess shows the value of this forum
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Vocal and vocal melody really grabbed me.. I also hear the Bowie thing going on, which is great.. really like that motif going on in the background (not sure what voice you're using on it)... I really like the whole trance synthy to it all. That "Let this be a warning" is VERY hooky! I really enjoyed this @kevysc (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19775) !
K
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Hi there Kev, really liked this, took me back to the likes of Heaven 17 or Teardrop Explodes, but this would have stood its ground back in the early 80s. As things always come around again, propelled by young folk who have never heard this kind of thing, then maybe it will have its day in the sun again soon.
Really interesting synth layering and a punchy chorus line that really grabs your attention. I hope to hear more of your stuff.
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@MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) many thanks and glad you like it! Not sure which background voice you are referring to, but I got a new version of my DAW software (Samplitude) and played around with some of the effects / samples to layer the background.
@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) love Heaven 17/ Teardrop Explodes, so thanks for that reference .... the best music is timeless, even if it does go in and out of favour :)