@CaliaMoko Thank you for the critique. The penultimate chorus cuts a little short as the beginning of the last chorus kind of "takes over" from it - pretty much without missing a beat. If that makes sense? On the page it does look like an unnatural rhythm, but with the tune (I can still remember it - woot!) it does actually flow and work. It's also why that line doesn't rhyme - I realised that (a) it didn't need to and (b) it might have actually sounded odd if I had.
Unfortunately, I don't really want to post the terribly off-key "singing" (very loose term!) I recorded whilst writing it (to help me remember the tune) so you'll just have to take my word for it. But, it does make it awkward for others to critique, I know.
I am thinking of either repeating the last line of the chorus again (one that gently slows to a halt). I could possibly even write another different line - but I don't really want to diverge from the reference to the title, so I'd still have to keep it similar enough to the current one. I've got some thoughts on that but I'm not going to do that unless it works for the song.
The title sort of morphed accidentally into what it became. I didn't have a title originally, and then when I changed that last line in the chorus I tentatively called it "Shadow of Her Doubt". But then this phrase kept pecking at me (and I liked the idea of using it) and I realised I could use it because I could give it a different inflection than the literal one. So the "shadow of her doubt" alludes to the darkness that her childhood bullies had cast upon her (how they made her feel weak and unworthy, and "doubt" herself), but she wants to free herself and make herself stronger (being "without" the "shadow of that doubt") - which she sees as only happening when she's completed her mission of revenge.
I don't always put too much thought into a title, but this one (and the subject matter) sort of lent itself to it.
No classes, by the way. Just a long, long time writing poetry, songs and stories.
