[jonlint]

Hi all,

New song "Paradise" written and recorded this morning:

https://soundcloud.com/jonathan-linton5/paradise

LYRICS:
I see the look in your eyes
Heaven’s slipped away
From you
Come to me and baptize
But there’s price to pay

Forgive him lord
For he has sinned
Pocket’s bulgin’
We’ll let him

I am the agent divine
Path to eternal life
Come
I’ll take you to a
Paid paradise
Leave your sins with me
Leave your money behind
Let me take you to a
Paid paradise

Pay no mind what you hear
Them boys love it here
They came to me and baptized
I showed them paradise

Forgive him lord
Much more than the rest
He has great riches
So give him best

I am the agent divine
Path to eternal life
Come
I’ll take you to a
Paid paradise
Leave your sins with me
Leave your money behind
Let me take you to a
Paid paradise

A paid paradise!

Thank you lord
For a path from sin
All they can afford
I give to them

I am the agent divine
Path to eternal life
Come
I’ll take you to a
Paid paradise
Leave your sins with me
Leave your money behind
Let me take you to a
Paid paradise

A paid paradise!
(Amen)

[LostBoy]

Well, first of all you rocked the shit out of this man!!🔥🤘🏻🔥 really impressive vocals and music!! Mix seems great to my ears on Samsung buds.

The song itself is great aswell, it immediately made me think of an old fave of mine....Genesis "Jesus he knows me". Its a great topic to write about and for me personally is very relevant. I am an ex Mormon, turned Atheist....so the lyrics are close to home.

With that in mind the only thing that stuck out to me in way of critique is that you wouldn't say "come to me and baptise". You could say "come to me, be baptised". The only person who can "baptise" is the religious person performing the ceremony.👍🏻 likewise "they came to me and baptized" could be "they came to me got baptized".👍🏻 (I’ve written the sentences so that the phrasing in the song should hopefully still work.👍🏻)

Anyway I hope that helps mate. Fantastic song for a mornings work!!!😱😁🎶👊🏻🎶

[LilPeeper]

That was very strong!! Great vocals especially the high pitched ones which gave me Axl Rose vibes. The verses were my favourite bits with the chorus okay, but not as coherent as it could be in my opinion. Hard to describe, just feels like the chorus starts off so well with the first line but then seems disjointed. The music was incredible! The whole song gave me Greenday vibes, probably just me but I mean it as compliment. Congrats!

[ChrisPrice]

Well you know I'm a fan of your stuff Jon. And this is no exception.No crits - it is what it is - very well played and sung and your production is spot on as usual. Great song.

[kevysc]

@jonlint  Wow, I had to turn down my headphones for this one Seriously good rocking tune, great vocals and interesting lyrics. Nice work,

Kevin

[moraamarolaloba]

Hola @jonlint

I did not know what I was going to find when listening to your song, the title threw me off ... And I found the forces of Gd and evil fighting !!!! Great!!
Your song is strong, the lyrics are good, your voice is great and the backing meets all the requirements of this style.
Maybe a sound or instrument that sings in trebles as a counterpoint to the mid and bass of the instrumentation would be good? The choruses could have more volume, they would give it more color ...
Don't worry, it's just what I think.
Very good track

[rightly]

A good rocking song 
All the histrionics in the right place 
I enjoyed the listen 

[Jamie]

@jonlint

Hi ,great rock song, vocals are brilliant made me think a little of Bruce Dickinson, a good thing! Great guitar sounds too. Good lyric too!

Excellent!


Jamie