[Kafla]

https://soundcloud.com/andrewcruse/coolaulin-sweet-charity

Ok so posting this. It was the last song I wrote before my hiatus from the forum so isn’t reflective of where I am now. It’s 5 years old.

I am not a producer and just feel my way around things so feel free to point out production errors...but I won’t have any idea what you are on about 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Go easy as well...sharing a song is like sharing a little piece of your soul ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Coolaulin Sweet Charity

Painting the sky , faith in our eyes
The love that you gave me was suicide
Every night with the blind opened wide
I would gaze into your eyes looking petrified
Oh my we are never going touch the ground now
This world is our own
It’s better off to die than to live a million sad lives
than to be on your own through your own choice
One life

Where in the world do you show your hurt ?
I could look into your eyes forever
Arms open wide , stars in the sky
The night all around us
This is our time
Oh my we are never going to be forever
We will fade , we will fade
It’s better off to cry than to keep a million secrets
Than to break down forever
One life

https://soundcloud.com/andrewcruse/coolaulin-sweet-charity

[Wicked Deeds]

@Kafla,

Andy,

A song that soars and dives, observing and recording the most beautiful scenary.  Musical inervals to die for!

I'm proud to see and hear you back home on the forum.

Take it easy and enjoy the wine my friend!

Paul

[MonnoDB]

@kafla  This has a bit of a folky celtic feel about even though the production isn’t... love your voice - rich and accessible at the same time...melody is very sweet - I’ll be humming this all evening..

Not production savvy at all so can’t help there - it all sounds great to my ear! That piano part is great!

Karen.

[pompeyjazz]

Hi Andy, I thought that this was fabulous. Reminded me of some stuff that The Coral might have done. Lovely acoustic sound, fabulous melody and vocals that suit the song so well. Welcome back 

[Neil C]

Andy,
I love to hear your warm, heartfelt sounding vocals again.
Nice organic backing, neat words too.
Production sound fine to me.
And nice touch with the echoed Vox at the end.
:-)
Neil

[kevysc]

Has Ian McCullough joined the forum? Definitely hear Echoes and the Bunnymen in this one. This has a fantastic "pop anthem" feeling, great melody, vocals and instrumentation. Love the "woa" break ... soaring!

Super stuff, Kevin

[Paulski]

What a nice dreamy song - love the melody lines and the vocals.
Everything else sounds pretty damn good too 

More please!
Paul

[cowparsleyman]

@Kafla - Very nice vintage song.  Great voice, love the melody lines.

There is room for supporting close tracking BV's in the pre chorus/chorus. "it's better off to cry" a bar later,  only 2 harmonies, close mic'd. panned L and R at about 10 and 2.

Personally I'd ditch the strings, and pop some gentle Grand piano chords in there. There's something about the drums that would make me look at those.

The 1234 didn't work for me as a hook either.

Lovely song

Hope this helps

Rich

[Kafla]

Thank you so much @Wicked Deeds Karen Neil @pompeyjazz Kevin and @Paulski 😎😎😎😎

Coolaulin Sweet Charity is the pedigree name of my oldest dog and the song was written about some of my thoughts when out walking her as a pup - dogs would literally commit suicide to make you happy 😄

Much love ❤️

[Kafla]

No worries Rich , appreciate your honesty 🤣😎

I think the temptation is always to defend any criticism but I know you will be meaning all this from a place of kindness...all valid points and thank for listening 👏🏻

[Wicked Deeds]

I love this Andy,  my world resides in the realm of songwriting and not production though I know how the latter can further enhance a song.  In truth, this makes me want to cry. so I say, your task as a writer, conveying human emotions has been accomplished and very well too.  I rarely comment on a song for a second time but feel compelled to do so for the beauty of your work and the happiness that I feel to see you on the forum again.  Wherever life takes you, know that songs written such as this one touch the hearts and minds of people.  uplifting and beautiful beyond my expectations!

Paul

[cowparsleyman]

@Kafla - yeah, spot on Andy, The truth is if you commissioned me to produce it, that’s how I’d suggest going forward, but it’s up to you at the end of the day, you wouldn’t be here opening up your stall and asking what we think if you hadn’t thought of the possibility of some comments other than what you agree with...ive found  comments here so useful that i would never have thought of.

You can also chuck em in the bin I really won’t be offended...

A pleasure to hear your song .

[Jamie]

@Kafla
Hi Andy, when I first joined this site, you were one of the prolific posters and them you disappeared. Was that about 5 years ago?Anyway, glad to see you back. Enjoyed the song some nice laid back acoustic guitar sounds and a lovely melody.Nice to hear you back!

Cheers
Jamie

[moraamarolaloba]

Hola @Kafla

I discover you now!
It is a beautiful love song and the guitars accompany the melody with their acoustic sound.

I like this line
"The love that you gave me was suicide "

Good production

[montydog]

Hey, welcome back! It is so good to hear your voice again. Others have mentioned The Coral and Echo & The Bunnymen - I agree and pretty stellar company if you ask me. Your singing is so emotive and rich that it can carry a song pretty much on it's own so the overall effect with the strings is a rather beautiful thing. It has an ethereal quality and sort of drifts in and drifts out like a half remembered dream. Hopefully this is the effect you were going for. I enjoyed it very much and hope you have some more songs for us.
M