Hello everyone. I am a french songwriter writing in English, and this is my first post here.
I am currently working on a song which lyrics revolve around relationships, and I am stuck with a specific couple of lines.
The lyrics go :
"How could we drift so far apart
Over the smell of some new hair?"
That is the best I could come up with so far, and it still sounds weird to me.
What I want to express is : "we used to be a couple, I met this other person and the freshness of this new encounter drove me away from you. I realize now it was futile, yet unavoidable".
My questions to you guys :
- Is "how could we drift so far apart" gramatically correct ?
- "Over the smell of some new hair" sounds both incorrect and badly formulated to me. I would like to keep the "smell of someone's hair" image though.
Thanks in advance for your help and feedback.