[JohnFinch]

Hey Guys,

I've had this song for about a year.  Its recorded with software driven drums and without much attention to detail.  When I wrote this, I thought it was possibly my best song, now I'm not too sure.  Would really like anyone's opinion of whether the song is worth pursuing?  If so, what would you do with it?

Please, I know about the timing issues  No need to mention them LOL

https://soundcloud.com/john_finch/cordite

Verse 1
Yesterday I found myself
today I lost myself
'cause you see
I don't make friends easily

If we all just close our eyes,
and hold each other tight,
then there can be no doubt ,
that we are really here.

Chorus
It's a dangerous game to play
it'll blow up in your face Cordite
and I know if you got your way
there would be hell to pay Cordite
and oh, we might not last the night

Verse 2
A prisoner of your own mind,
you take the cell tonight,
and I'll guard,
to make sure nothing gets out.

Lets take a walk in the park,
until the day gets dark,
and then run,
until there is no point,

Chorus
It's a dangerous game to play
it'll blow up in your face Cordite
and I know if you got your way
there would be hell to pay Cordite
and oh, we might not last the night

Middle Bit
You pack a punch baby I cant tame you,
I cant contain you, no!
You're a rebel whose lost her way,
you wont even eat your 5 a day.

Chorus
It's a dangerous game to play
it'll blow up in your face Cordite
and I know if you got your way
there would be hell to pay Cordite!
and oh, we might not last the night


Thanks

John

[jmacdon]

Hi John

Thanks for posting this great uplifting track    I love it completely - it has energy, life, fun, enthusiasm and love 

BUT, as you know, it's very 90's and not at all original.  The chord sequence and licks are very 90's and have been covered very many times.... but who cares - you clearly love your music and there is no holding you back.   You are a rebel who has not lost his way !!

[mihkay]

For a WIP it's a great demo.

The structure of the lyrics against the chords in the  chorus was a really good feature for me.

Loses it way around the solo. Some tightening up of the changes into the break and a bit of dynamic fiddling to build the final chorus but, overall a great song. I really like it. 

Got a great energy to it. Take it and make it what it should be!   

[Jamie]

Hi, Plenty of energy, a nice demo recording, like the verse melody against the chord structure.
Nice dynamics, but there are some chords that don't work in the middle bit, it throws the song a bit. Also the guitar solo isn't at the same level as the rest of the song.
Nice one!
Cheers
Jamie