[hardtwistmusic]

Just added Lyrics and a vocal to what had been an instrumental.  

BTW... What makes this Anne's Song is that it's based on a musical idea of a good friend named Anne. I was showing her how to use the chord generator, and she sang in one of her lyrical ideas.  Two years later, I took it and modified the chord patterns a little, and liked it a lot.  

The lyric is one I wrote in my head over twenty years ago.... to the tune of a song by the Box Tops from 1969.  The song was "Sweet Cream Ladies."   Three years ago, I finally got around to writing down the lyric that had never really left my head.  

I tried numerous ideas for this instrumental, then thought of that twenty year old lyric just sitting there, and if fit seamlessly.  

www.reverbnation.com/HTMworksinprogress

Additionally, this lyric is a "parable."  "Parables" follow a specific format.  They confront the audience with an outrageous behavior by "them."  Then, through the telling, when the audience is enraged against "them" there is an increasingly uncomfortable sense that it's actually about "us" not "them."  

This lyric is not about some unspecified "them."  

KILL THE MESSENGER

If we kill the messenger
when bad news comes a calling.
We will be the last to know
If ever skies are falling.  

If we punish truth,
then all we'll ever hear are lies.
Surely that's a fact we should
accept and realize.  

We fly so high
We go so fast,
We lose control and then.  

We miss the turn,
We crash and burn.  
Then we do it all over again.

Blessed is he,  Blessed is he, Blessed is he who will see.  

In a world of broken promises -
a world of shattered dreams.
A world where nothing we are told
is ever what it seems.

Is it our fault for believing them?
Is it their fault for the lying?
Will we just kill the messenger
while truth lies slowly dying.  

We fly so high,
we go so fast,
we lose control and then.

We miss the turn,
We Crash and burn,  
then we do it all over again.  

Blessed is he, blessed is he, blessed is he who will see.  

Blessed is he,   blessed is he,  blessed is he  who will see.

It's a world of compromise.
What's sacred we defile.
A world where cheaters prosper for
at least a little while.  

Is this  world worth the saving or?  
Should we throw it all away?  
It's easy to kill the messenger
When he bows his head to pray?

We'll kill the messenger again
when he bows his head to pray?  

[diademgrove]

Sorry Verlon, the track doesn't say anything to me. It would work with words or as an instrumental. If you go for an instrumental you'll have to decide on the lead instrument. I heard a sax or trumpet.

The track gave off a nice mellow vibe.

Sorry again for being little help,

diadem

[hardtwistmusic]

One of the downfalls of writing music without words is the danger that it speaks to no one but the author.  This one obviously does that.  Thank you for being the one to tell me that in words instead of through non-verbal means. 

Sometimes you miss.  I pride myself on not taking it personally when I do miss. 

Just so everyone knows, I would never be angry, upset, or hurt if someone tells me an unpleasant truth about a song I've written. 

[diademgrove]

Sorry Verlon. I meant the music didn't answer the question should it have words or not. It remained silent. As a work in progress I liked it and thought it has potential. You could either put words to it, or a sax line and it still would work.

Apologies again for any confusion caused. I hope you develop the track, either with words or without.

diadem

[mihkay]

Nothing lyrically leaps out. But I felt that the "strings" part could do with a rethink to make them more open. It came across as a bit muddy and any melodic content was lost and in an instrumental melody is everything.
Try and emphasis the melodic content you're hearing.

Got promise but just sounds to me  like a backing track at the moment. I'm obviously not hearing what you are but my ears are not what they used to be.
They used to be my knees

good luck

Mihkay

[hardtwistmusic]

Sorry Verlon. I meant the music didn't answer the question should it have words or not. It remained silent. As a work in progress I liked it and thought it has potential. You could either put words to it, or a sax line and it still would work.

Apologies again for any confusion caused. I hope you develop the track, either with words or without.

diadem

Please don't be "sorry."  I appreciate the input even when I misunderstand it.  If anything, it's I who need to apologize. 

[hardtwistmusic]

I felt that the "strings" part could do with a rethink to make them more open.

Try and emphasis the melodic content you're hearing.


I'm obviously not hearing what you are but my ears are not what they used to be.
They used to be my knees

Mihkay

I deeply appreciate the feedback.  My lack of sophistication and our cultural language differences left some of it poorly understood. 

YOU WROTE:  "I felt that the "strings" part could do with a rethink to make them more open."

MY QUESTION:   If you don't mind, could you clarify what you mean by "open?"  I'm not sure I understand what you are suggesting, and I AM interested in understanding it.

Also.... I'm not musician enough to fully understand what "melodic content" is referring to in this context.  Specifically, I'm unsure which tracks would constitute the "melodic tracks" and which would fall under a different category.  Again.. I'm definitely very interesting in completely understanding what you are suggesting, and only partially understand it now. 

YOU WROTE:  "I'm obviously not hearing what you are but my ears are not what they used to be.
They used to be my knees "

My response:   "o)   

[hardtwistmusic]

Mihkay: 

Your comment that this instrumental sounded like a "backing track" led me to go and look up the term "backing track."  I didn't understand it, but knew I could just look it up instead of asking you to clarify it. 

What a marvelously useful comment you have made.  I understand what you mean and your comment ties together a lot of other critiques I've received in the past about the music that I've written. 

All my music DOES tend to sound like (and primarily BE) "backing tracks."  Now that I understand what that means, and it has helped me to understand so many of the previous criticisms I've received, I can begin to do something about it. 

I feel like I've been given a chance to take a major step forward because of your insight, and I thank you for that opportunity.  I'll do my best to take advantage of the opportunity your insight has provided.  It won't come easy, and it won't come fast, but now I have a much better idea of how to get better. 

God, I love this forum. 

[diademgrove]

Sorry Verlon. I meant the music didn't answer the question should it have words or not. It remained silent. As a work in progress I liked it and thought it has potential. You could either put words to it, or a sax line and it still would work.

Apologies again for any confusion caused. I hope you develop the track, either with words or without.

diadem

Please don't be "sorry."  I appreciate the input even when I misunderstand it.  If anything, it's I who need to apologize. 

Thanks for your kind words. Lets just sit back and enjoy a great forum. I look forward to you developing the track.

diadem

[tokenangmoh]

Hi.

For me the music is asking for something akin to nursery rhyme lyrics. It has a lovely simplicity. I think if you were to develop it into an instrumental, it would need a clever arrangement to sustain interest (though that's certainly a possibility).

Matt

[mihkay]

YOU WROTE:  "I felt that the "strings" part could do with a rethink to make them more open."

MY QUESTION:   If you don't mind, could you clarify what you mean by "open?"  I'm not sure I understand what you are suggesting, and I AM interested in understanding it.

Also.... I'm not musician enough to fully understand what "melodic content" is referring to in this context.  Specifically, I'm unsure which tracks would constitute the "melodic tracks" and which would fall under a different category.  Again.. I'm definitely very interesting in completely understanding what you are suggesting, and only partially understand it now. 

Firstly, glad I could help. Every day is a school day. 

If I could answer the second part first.
By melodic content I meant, the part of the song you could whistle or hum to someone. The tune to which a vocal or lead instrument would go if there was one.

What I meant by more open was that the notes in the chord were very close together. For example Doh Ray Me Fah So LA Tee Doh.  This can cause the lack of openness I mentioned, especially if the notes used are lower down on the keyboard.
There are a few easy tricks to experiment with  and maybe spark ideas from but we are getting into music theory and that opens up lots of possibilities if you are interested in exploring. 

Feel free to PM me with any specific questions.

Mihkay

[onemanband]

Hi Verlon,

  Had a little listen and jotted down some lyrics. see what you think.


  "Lie upon my chest
  Say those tender words that sooth me.
  Lie upon my chest
  All those sacred vows without meaning, now"

  Good luck. I think this will knit together seamlessly with some lyrics.

[hardtwistmusic]

Hi.

For me the music is asking for something akin to nursery rhyme lyrics. It has a lovely simplicity. I think if you were to develop it into an instrumental, it would need a clever arrangement to sustain interest (though that's certainly a possibility).

Matt

The "nursury rhyme" idea intrigues me.  I'm currently writing a little lyric for this music about Little Boy Blue's love for "Mary Mary quite contrary" and his attempt to keep her from being fooled by Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater (who Little Boy Blue fears would treat her badly). Along the way, as many other nursury rhyme characters as I can think of are being worked into the story. 

It's working FAR better than any ideas I had before.  Jury's still out on whether I can actually make a song of it.... but it's better than any ideas I had.

[hardtwistmusic]

Hi Verlon,

  Had a little listen and jotted down some lyrics. see what you think.


  "Lie upon my chest
  Say those tender words that sooth me.
  Lie upon my chest
  All those sacred vows without meaning, now"

  Good luck. I think this will knit together seamlessly with some lyrics.

I'll try that out with the music. 

[darigako]

first of all I have to say that I like the feeling of the song but as someone else already has mentioned, it sounds more like a backing track I think.
Maybe you could make it shorter to make it sound like an instrumental one. Or just add lyrics. But anyway I liked it!