[Marrianna]

I wrote this song a long time ago and it was after I had been to London. I was carrying some flowers and was in the area of the subway near the hotel. A 'poor, sad man' saw me and remarked that the flowers would not be for him because he 'wasn't going yet'. I was touched by his willingness to make a joke at himself when he was obviously homeless and sleeping rough. I thought the song out on the coach journey home and made a home recording with the piano.

It probably needs a chorus added, but the song is a reminder of a time and place I was all those years ago. I have been thinking about it because of the words of This Old Bench being on a similar theme.

                                He Believes That The Hylton's His Home

He believes that the Hylton's his home
And the park is his garden
With its' statue and seat
The subway's his shelter
For the wine he drinks neat
He's a poor man, a sad man, always alone
If you ask him he'll tell you
That the Hylton's his home.

He believes that the Hylton's his home
And the chauffeurs and doormen
Are his family and friends
He'll walk in his garden
'Til the day and evening ends
He's a poor man, a sad man, always alone
If you ask him he'll tell you
That the Hylton's his home

Does he long for the days
When his clothes were brand new
When his home was a house
With a beautiful view
When he wakes up in London
Every morning at dawn
Has he dreamed Hyde Park Corner
Was the place he was born?

He believes that the Hylton's his home
But he lives from the outside and only looks in
At the crystal and splendour
That isn't there for him
He's a poor man, a sad man
Always alone
If you ask him he'll tell you
That the Hylton's his home



(C)Marrianna

[Vintage54]

     Marrianna,
          What can i say, so many good lines, i wish they were mine. Im wearing his clothes, because you paint the picture so well. I cant add a brushstroke, let it hang, a work of art.

                                           Vintage54

[Marrianna]

     Marrianna,
          What can i say, so many good lines, i wish they were mine. Im wearing his clothes, because you paint the picture so well. I cant add a brushstroke, let it hang, a work of art.

                                           Vintage54

And what can I say .. your comment is much appreciated. It is just a simple song but part of a diary of certain days and events in my life.
Thankyou for how you wrote your comment which is artistic in itself.

Have a nice day.
Marrianna 

[Arkwright]

I just love the simplicity of this one Marrianna. It tells a very clear story without any ambiguities. I'm left in no doubt what the song is about and paints a very vivid picture in my mind.

There's very little I would change. If I have any suggestions, it would be in the first verse.

The subway's his shelter > Maybe 'doorway' would work better than 'subway' simply because the song is location based and there's less likely to be a 'subway' at the Hylton than there is a 'doorway'

For the wine he drinks neat > Wine is nearly always drunk neat (except for the 80's yuppie types who invented the spritzer.) I think the line would have more impact if you chose a specific hard liquor or use the word 'spirit' as a generic term.

I'm being really picky here and in truth it would make very little difference if you completely ignored me, it's still a great write.

[Marrianna]

I just love the simplicity of this one Marrianna. It tells a very clear story without any ambiguities. I'm left in no doubt what the song is about and paints a very vivid picture in my mind.

There's very little I would change. If I have any suggestions, it would be in the first verse.

The subway's his shelter > Maybe 'doorway' would work better than 'subway' simply because the song is location based and there's less likely to be a 'subway' at the Hylton than there is a 'doorway'

For the wine he drinks neat > Wine is nearly always drunk neat (except for the 80's yuppie types who invented the spritzer.) I think the line would have more impact if you chose a specific hard liquor or use the word 'spirit' as a generic term.

I'm being really picky here and in truth it would make very little difference if you completely ignored me, it's still a great write.

Thankyou for that, Arkwright,

     I have to say that the truth is that the meeting with the 'vagrant' was actually in the subway across the busy road in the location of the Hylton. I seem to remember his 'cardboard bed' being in the subway too. I saw him there each October when I went there regularly for a few years. I walked through the subway on my way to Marble Arch coach stop and so that is why I wrote that the subway was his shelter.

    I take your point about the 'neat' wine and it is bad writing on my part trying to describe in a few words that I saw empty wine bottles in the subway near where he slept.

    I am going to rethink that line and see what else I can come up with. 

Thanks again

Marrianna

[Marrianna]

Following on from seeing what I could come up with, I thought I could move the line about the drink to further into the song.

Verse 1 could then be

He believes that the Hylton's his home
And the park is his garden with its statue and seat
The subway's his shelter
From the rain or summer heat ... etc.


Then further into the song  ...

When he wakes up in London
Drinking wine with the dawn
Has he dreamed Hyde Park Corner
Was the place he was born



The last verse could be changed sllightly to:

He believes that the Hylton's his home
But his life is on the outside
He can only look in
At the crystal and splendour
That isn't there for him


I would be pleased for some feedback on the changes  

Thankyou all
Marrianna
 

[Vintage54]

           Changes are good, and impressive, but the painting is already hanging in the gallery. Dont change a thing, a painter doesnt turn up at the gallery and say "Im here to touch it up". People on here look at my words, and make great suggestions on how they could be improved, and its much appreciated. But i aint gonna go back, you can do that forever. Move on to next work of art.

                          Vintage54

[Paulski]

I really liked this lyric - tells a great, but sad story IMO. I'm hearing this sung like a Bob Dylan tune, except instead of "he believes" I hear "he thinks" but maybe you have a tune already and need that extra syllable.. Oh, yeah, and it doesn't need a chorus with that great tag line appearing every verse.
 But I'm not like Vintage I guess - I'll often go back and change my lyric based on suggestions - sometimes do a complete rewrite - It wasn't as easy for Picasso - he didn't have a backspace key to press..
cheers
Paul

[Marrianna]

I really liked this lyric - tells a great, but sad story IMO. I'm hearing this sung like a Bob Dylan tune, except instead of "he believes" I hear "he thinks" but maybe you have a tune already and need that extra syllable.. Oh, yeah, and it doesn't need a chorus with that great tag line appearing every verse.
 But I'm not like Vintage I guess - I'll often go back and change my lyric based on suggestions - sometimes do a complete rewrite - It wasn't as easy for Picasso - he didn't have a backspace key to press..
cheers
Paul

Thanks for your opinion and thoughts, Paulski. It is thought-provoking what his earlier life had been and how he came to be there as a vagrant.

I do have a simple tune to go with the words and the word 'thinks' fits although maybe not as comfortable as with the extra syllable in 'believes'.

I like the feedback, as it came as a great surprise to have the interest the song created. The praise from Vintage was lovely to read and with the feedback later from Arkwright and you, I have  more ideas to consider if I go back to the song.

Thankyou to you all
Marrianna

[Bleedin Boy]

A sad story, but really well written. You paint a really good picture of someone who has become used to the life he's in.

[Marrianna]

Hi, Bleedin Boy

     Thankyou for your appreciative comment which I have just found and so I am sorry not to have replied before.

    I am glad the picture of a homeless person has been painted and also, hopefully keep us aware that bad circumstances in life can be the cause if someone once had a good standard of living but has been brought down to the level of the man in my song.

The song with music is in the finished songs section. I found the basic recording after I posted the lyrics.

Marrianna