[Neil C]

hi,
Love some feedback on what's meant to be a bit of fun on the subject of manly DIY.
Tried for some alliteration and a jumble of words, please let me know what you think and suggestions as it aint finished.
 
Neil

Level headed

Spirit level, watch the bevel
and mind that dovetail joint
Woodwork classes and prescription glasses
Sanded down, satin feel [ I’d prefer something to go with joint ]

Got a kitchen devil that's on the level
Plumbline straight, precision steel
Up and down the aisle, I've walked for miles.
While the trolley does it freestyle thing

So stockpile, textile, floortile woodpile
I just love my DIY
Do it yourself, put up that shelf
Measured, sawn and threaded.
Level headed.

I built myself a shed, and one inside my head
for when it gets too much
And when it starts to rains it starts to leak again
No jobs ain't blue enough

Cos when you've got all the tools, like you YouTube fools
And you think you can when you can't
It may beat sex, whatever next
It does what it says on the tin

So stockpile, textile, floortile woodpile
I just love my DIY
Do it yourself, put up that shelf
Measured, sawn and threaded.
I’m level headed.

c Connor 2016

[Paulski]

Hi Neil

Love the hook! Level Headed
Not talking about our teen years here for sure
No nits from me - it's aligning up well.
Could go with "dovetail join" - that rhymes with more things like "shiny as a coin"

Paul

[Vintage54]

  Howdy Neil,
      Just great man. If your DIY is as well crafted as this, your house must be like a palace. Regarding the joint rhyme, how about something like this

        Woodwork classes and prescription glasses
        It looks right, up to a point.

                          Great stuff
                              Vintage54

[Opal fruit]

Hi Neil,

I'm new to the site and just read your DIY song.  Very clever. 
Just a comment, your 'sanded down, satin feel' from the first verse would go well with 'plumbline straight, precision steel' in the second verse.  Just a thought.
Also a kitchen devil needs a power point which could also help with the dovetail joint.
Looking forward to the finished version.

Opal fruit

[Neil C]

Paul,
Thanks a lots for that.

Not talking about our teen years here for sure Smiley

I hadn't initially got this because I am thinking DIY in the non self loving sense. What with your smutty mind and Scub who on Torpedo was just into complete double entries everywhere, it nearly spoilt the song!!!

Vintage,
Delighted you're computerised again.

If your DIY is as well crafted as this, your house must be like a palace.

The joke about this is I'm over confident and pretty useless, but we all play along to the fact that I pretend to good, but its al the gear no idea, start something and get bored...  Thats another 'area for self development' And thanks for the suggestion, made me think about that whole line differently

Opal fruit,

Hi and welcome, thanks for feedback, I like powerpoint. Music is mostly written and will post in due time.
And I just had to sing inside my head "made to make your mouth water" sorry for that.
 
Neil

[PaulAds]

Enjoyed this, Neil

Interesting and really fun lyric...I can see the look of exhausted exasperation as the shelf crashes to the floor

I'm sure it'll make a great song

[CaliaMoko]

If I try hard enough, I can usually find something to nitpick about with words, but this time I have nothing to add the what's already been said by others. And I doubt I would have come up with the good ideas they did, so...all I can say is: can't wait to hear it!

Vicki

[Neil C]

PaulAds,
Thanks for the encouraging comments.

can see the look of exhausted exasperation as the shelf crashes to the floor Smiley

i think you must have me confused with someone else, although shelves may on occasions elegantly bow to gravity as part of unplanned maintenance.

Vicki, thanks for reading and commenting. And yes the music is in production but at the back of the queue.
:-)
Neil

[igg]

Hi Neil,

You've inspired me to go out to the shop and hit my thumb with the hammer a few times!   Good write...are you planning to use any power tools in the mix?

igg

[hardtwistmusic]

One small nit. 

I would make "prescription glasses" "safety glasses."   One fewer syllable, and identifiable to those who don't wear prescription glasses.  EVERYONE is supposed to wear safety glasses. 

[Neil C]

Igg, thanks for the response and be careful! And of course yes I'll be using a powerful compressor on the mix etc.

Verlon, very good point. I was reflecting back to my school days I think, although I like more syllables it make better sense.
 
 
Neil