[Richards440]

Have you ever stared at the stars
And realised how small we are
That things aren't as hard as they seem
And the future's not that far

[mikebunnies]

Have you ever stared at the stars
And realised how small we are

I really like that part, it opens the song with an interesting subject/question and then adds another path with an interesting point of view.
In my opinion, you can pretty much set up a whole song using these two lines as they are very powerful and they let the reader think.

That things aren't as hard as they seem
And the future's not that far

In these two lines I feel kind of lost.
Which things aren't as hard as they seem? how did you get into this conclusion?
It really begins to feel like any other song, I think you should add more details regarding your thoughts and your feelings using an image - let the readers live the song with you.
I'm sorry for the terrible explanation, I'm new to this, hope I made myself clear enough.
 

[tokenangmoh]

Hi.

I like these lines.

I agree with Mike (I think), in that the rest of your song could come between lines 2 and 3, and could show how you come to the conclusion in lines 3 and 4.

I might spend a bit more time on the awesome scale of the universe in verse 1; then something about the problems that face you in v2 or a prechorus; then expand the idea in lines 3 and 4 into a chorus.

Regardless of how you go forward, this could be a really cool song and I hope you complete it.

Matt

[diademgrove]

Hi,

I think its a great opening verse. The stars indicate being lost and the last two lines indicate being found. There are so many places you could go to with the opening, which may well give you difficulty. You have so many choices its hard to decide which road to take.

To me it wouldn't sound out of place in Simon and Garfunkel's Bridge Over Troubled Waters, a song giving support to a friend having hard times.

The second verse could be a description of the problems faced by the friend and the chorus the offer of support. The third verse could be a sad ending, if you're as weird as me. If not a resolution of the problem or, the friend's acceptance of the problem and their desire to enjoy life despite it.

Just some suggestions, I hope you get to finish it.

Keith

[EpiphoneEpiphany]

hi and welcome to the forum

you wrote that we are small compared to the stars, but that the future isn't far away which left me a bit confused 'cause I thought of the stars as a sort of metaphor for the future which you said wasn't far away

this could become a great song especially with the good tips/advice you already got

good that you overcame your writer's block and looking forward to reading the finished version

cheers

EE

[Kevin j]

short song
yeah i definitely agree that there needs to be a something between the first two lines and the last two, because they don't seem to work together very well, for me anyway. you could maybe write the song about somebody gazing at the stars, asking questions to the listener and giving your own kind of answers.. i dunno

hope this helps

[Peppermint]

The songs a little short
But seriously it might have be the making a good song so would like to see the rest of it 

Peppermint