[Daphn.eh]

Hi guys! I wrote a song a while ago, and I don't really know what to do with it. I don't even know if it's alright, maybe it's crap, you tell me.
I'd like to get some feedback, bc you probably know what you're talking about, and i don't.
I don't have a title yet, so if anyone has any suggestions, spill it!
(it's kinda short, i know)
Lyrics:

I knew you wanted to run away, 'cause your eyes weren't as blue as before. I really wanted you to stay, it made me grab your hand even more. I tried to hide you inside my darkest fears, but you wanted to leave and now all that is left are your souvenirs.

Now I'm staring at my poorly painted ceiling, while you're probably watching the stars, and I'm starting to get the feeling, that I should go back to the start.

Chorus:
I should have bought your tickets and help you catch your flight, when you told me you were unhappy, you may have been right.

Because I shouldn't have stopped you, I should've gone along, because when I said I was happy, I was totally wrong.

I never realized how terrible I had it, you always made me smile. even if I threw a fit, you just stayed quiet for a while.
But now the silence is killing me, I want to hear you whispering at half past three.

I should have bought your tickets and help you catch your flight, because I'd rather say hello than goodbye.

[Marrianna]

Hi

If this was the first song you wrote it is quite impressive.

It would be easier to follow if you wrote in shorter lines, rather than across the page.

I thought that maybe the last lines weren't really necessary but that is just my thought and you can just ignore if you would rather. 

Marrianna

[hardtwistmusic]

Somehow, I missed this on the first time through.  I apologize.  This deserves some reviews. 

There are things I would change, and if you would like, I'll make you some suggestions. 

But this is a very solid start to a very good lyric.  Keep working it.  And don't be afraid to make a post to yourself in this thread to "bump" your song to the top if it gets overlooked.  Sometimes the volume of posts is so large that songs get missed. 

It doesn't mean your song isn't worth reviewing.  It just means it got pushed to the bottom of the list before anyone saw it.