[BooBoo]

I really likes this and I imagine it captures the image of the paps really well. It does have that 'Pervy ' tone to it but it wouldn't be as realistic without it in my opinion. I agree about the third verse but other than that I really like this and you delivered the message incredibly well!

[benjo]

 hey thank you

 cheers booboo made up you liked it

 

[diademgrove]

Hi Tony,

it may be my age but I found the lyrics sleazy, which I suspect was the intention. I'm not sure if pervy is the same as sleazy but to me they have distinct meanings.

On to the words. I don't think the order of the verses work, the punch line is in the first verse. I'd be inclined to start with the chorus and move onto ohh that's sweet as juice etc. up to the next chorus. I'd then add the two verses (not sure if the verses are 4 lines or "I've got no morals...". After the chorus "I lurk in the shadows etc." I'd finish with your first 8 lines. I'm not keen on the "I've seen some of your bills..." I don't think they add anything.

Hope all this makes sense. If not, let me know and I'll cut and paste the order I'd like to see.

Two good results for you today,

diadem

[benjo]

 hey diademgrove

 thank you so much for your feed back Keith
 all taken on board mate

 yeah I can't believe how well we've done this season
 a couple of good incentives too first on for Gerard / the 96 as well
 are you confident with your guys now its been a strange old time for hull
 I think you'll be fine all round

          good luck anyway mate

                   and thanks again Keith