[Paulski]

Billion?

OK - after a re-think I'm going to stick with Million - because the protagonist would think a million dollars is a lot of money.
Thanks for your help Matt!

[benjo]

 hey paul

 i like the lyric over all and a real good story told well
 but i agree with above,

 the give her a call didn't sit right for me
 and didn't feel right when i read it

 but couple little tweaks and top job

                       tony...

[Paulski]

 hey paul

 i like the lyric over all and a real good story told well
 but i agree with above,

 the give her a call didn't sit right for me
 and didn't feel right when i read it

 but couple little tweaks and top job

                       tony...

Thanks Tony - always good to get your feedback - appreciated!
Paul

[diademgrove]

Hi Paul,

I think the lyrics are really good, reminded me of a Tom Petty song from way back. I like the invitation to call her, shows your confidence.

I'm not sure about the use of the word stones. To me balls means having the guts to ask, so it reads like you are daring him to ask her, which doesn't work in my head. It reads like the only reason she'll stay with you is because he'll never ask.

I imagine the song to be about the woman saying no, even if he does ask. I'm hearing You haven't got the class to steal my girl. This says to me that money doesn't buy everything.

Not sure if this is what you had in mind, so feel free to ignore me if it doesn't fit,

Keith

[Paulski]

Hi Paul,

I think the lyrics are really good, reminded me of a Tom Petty song from way back. I like the invitation to call her, shows your confidence.

I'm not sure about the use of the word stones. To me balls means having the guts to ask, so it reads like you are daring him to ask her, which doesn't work in my head. It reads like the only reason she'll stay with you is because he'll never ask.

I imagine the song to be about the woman saying no, even if he does ask. I'm hearing You haven't got the class to steal my girl. This says to me that money doesn't buy everything.

Not sure if this is what you had in mind, so feel free to ignore me if it doesn't fit,

Keith

Hi Keith
Thanks for the Tom Petty reference - I'm so not worthy!
There are probably different connotations on that expression here in Canada - in the song, it's intended to mean "you don't have the guts to try to take her from me". Now, in the video (in my head - scary as that sounds) she walks off with the other guy at the end - thus the "OH NO!" 
Cheers on the comments!
Paul

[diademgrove]

Hi Paul,

must say I prefer the version in my head. In this world the rich always seem to get what they want (doesn't always make them happy but that's another song). The odd time they don't brings a smile to my face.

I heard the oh no's sang confidently, you're going to steal my girl, oh no, oh no, oh no.... no you're not.

Its your song though, so run with it as you see it.

Keith

[Dutchbeat]

cool lyrics, Paulski!

could also be great lyrics for a dance track, you know a sort of show off dance / house track

[Paulski]

Hi Paul,

must say I prefer the version in my head. In this world the rich always seem to get what they want (doesn't always make them happy but that's another song). The odd time they don't brings a smile to my face.

I heard the oh no's sang confidently, you're going to steal my girl, oh no, oh no, oh no.... no you're not.

Its your song though, so run with it as you see it.

Keith

Yeah - I see your point - maybe the singer can make those "Oh No"' s ambiguous so we really don't what actually happens.
cheers
Paul

[Paulski]

cool lyrics, Paulski!

could also be great lyrics for a dance track, you know a sort of show off dance / house track

Hey Dutchbeat - yes I'm thinking this needs to be sung (and played) with major attitude!
Thanks for the comments
Paul