[Viva La Stereo]

Hello. I'm not very well known around here, but I've posted a couple of songs in the last few weeks. The problem was, they were all done on my phone (so rather bad quality wise). Recently I got a proper mic from a friend and some software, so I've been insanely happy with that. I recorded this song in one day, I sat from dawn til dusk getting everything right. I know for a fact that the production will be bad, but I comfort myself with knowing that it's because its the first time I've properly recorded. I hope you enjoy it, and so any criticism is appreciated.

https://soundcloud.com/jack-murphy-141/all-the-time

LYRICS:

I got my signals crossed
I left it all too long
I was living in a daze
dreaming all the time
of castles in spain
of catching the morning train
I was hopeful all the time
I kept it all inside
I thought I knew just who I was
and who I tried to be

Im floating all the time
reaching out
for a helping hand
all the time
I am dreaming
all the time

I thought I was doing well
I made a mistake again
I tried to find a reason
for keeping on so long
by turning inside out
by laughing out of time
I was watching all the time
I kept it all inside
I thought I knew just who I was
and who I tried to be

I'm floating all the time
reaching out
for a helping hand
all the time
I am dreaming 
all the time

[Viva La Stereo]

MESSAGE TO MODERATOR: Could you move this to 'Finished songs'? I made a mistake and put it in the wrong forum 

[Yodasdad]

Hi Jack,

Wow this is a long song! I did listen to all 7 minutes and 5 seconds of it (twice) but I have to be honest if I wasn't listening for the purpose of a review I would have switched tracks before the end. It's not that there's anything particularly wrong with it as such but for a song that long there's got to be some serious variety to hold the listeners interest. This is where I felt it was lacking, I felt like I'd heard everything there was on offer well before the end.

I would think about cutting down the length of the track or coming up with some additional ideas. It's quite a repetitive track in terms of chord sequence and melody and for me it doesn't really seem to go anywhere, no climactic points or a chorus as such.

The lead acoustic interlude is nice but a little work on timing would help I think.

As for your productions skills, not too bad at all if its the first time you've used this setup. There are plenty of people on here who can give you pointers with this if you want to improve further.

There's definitely some good material within the song worth pursuing but as I've said I think it would benefit from some editing, fresh ideas and a gear change or two.

Yodasdad.

[Paulski]

For a first recording this is pretty good.
Way too slow and way too long to hold interest but that's just packaging and you'll learn that as you go. My only other complaint is it has "eye" trouble. There are 23 times the word "I" is repeated which makes it sound a bit self-centered IMO. That's fine except don't expect listeners to attach to it emotionally.

Paul

[sundaysongsmiths]

Hi JD,
We liked the overall narrative and forlorn quality the song conveys. We felt that there should be more contrast musically between the verses and chorus. As others pointed out the song is too slow and too long, particularly the intro, outro and bridge. But overall a very good start.

Retards,
Mike and Jay   

[Viva La Stereo]

Thanks for the replies everyone!

Yeah, I can definitely see that the song is too long. To be honest, I wouldn't even listen to all of it if I was you. I'll cut it down, I think that's important. I'm learning the production process as I go along, and you guys have been really helpful. You've helped me approach the production process much like that of editing a piece of writing. In order to make it more approachable, you have to 'kill your darlings' as it were, and remove all superfluous nonsense that isn't particularly relevant to the overall song.

Thanks for all the advice guys. I read it all and have taken it all in.