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Songwriter Forum => Lyrics => Topic started by: SilverBeat on November 26, 2017, 04:17:13 PM

Title: I Still Haven't Found What I Need
Post by: SilverBeat on November 26, 2017, 04:17:13 PM
My October 2017 song, "I Still Haven't Found What I Need" was inspired by a conversation I had with my sister in law, about the Rolling Stones. In short, I told her that my Favorite Rollings Stones song was "It's Only Rock N Roll". She said her's was "You Can't Always Get What You Want". That's all it took. I started thinking about my own wants and needs.

https://www.reverbnation.com/silverbeat/song/28791467-i-still-havent-found-what-need

Cheers,
Terry

I did the math - I read the books
I kept myself clear - of teachers dirty looks
I formed my answers - that turned out right
From long hard studies - of countless nights
I still haven't found what I need

I played the game - I paid my dues
I kept beliefs that - I wasn't gonna loss
I fed my hunger - to never stop
To fill my ego - and reach the top
I still haven't found what I need

I think I got what I thought I wanted
Time and time again
But I still haven't found what I need

Yeah - I still haven't found what I need
No - I still haven't found what I need
I still haven't found what I need
Title: Re: I Still Haven't Found What I Need
Post by: tomcrocus on November 26, 2017, 04:54:53 PM
Hi SilverBeat,
                    i love it,the beat comes really easily in the head
and it sings real well.This is the type of song i really like.
I don't know if it needs anymore.A nice guitar bridge and repeat
itself and it's a cool song,
                                     top write,
                                                    Tom.
Title: Re: I Still Haven't Found What I Need
Post by: Neil C on December 03, 2017, 11:22:54 AM
Good stuff, enjoyed it Mr Siver,
Not having a rhyme with 'need' really made that last line stand out.
As does the title which I incorrectly thought was a spin on U2's classic.
 :)
neil
Title: Re: I Still Haven't Found What I Need
Post by: JH247 on December 11, 2017, 04:35:15 PM
Hey SilverBeat,
Having listened to your track I think it's very nice. I enjoyed your lyrics which I thought were very clever and the music definetly has a certain beauty to it.

Keep up the good work
Joe
Title: Re: I Still Haven't Found What I Need
Post by: Laptop Philharmonic on December 18, 2017, 08:16:47 PM
Quote
I think I got what I thought I wanted

I think that's my favourite line in there. Nicely paints a picture of confusion through its grammatical construction.

Bit of constructive feedback though: "I kept beliefs that - I wasn't gonna lose" comes across a bit odd - it's not really several beliefs you're talking about as far as I can see. Maybe something like "I always knew that" instead?
Title: Re: I Still Haven't Found What I Need
Post by: wkamen on January 04, 2018, 12:30:28 AM
Clever Lyrics however I think you should expand on it to make it longer.   just saying