The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: PopTodd on November 14, 2017, 12:40:35 AM
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Complete, finished mix.
https://hoponpop.bandcamp.com/track/this-aint-no-race
LYRICS:
1.
Well I’ve been tied up
Now I’m tied down
And I’m tangled up in knots
But you know, it ain’t the worst place I could be
‘Cause I’ve been busted up
And broken down
And lost everything I’d got
But now I’ve got someone to share their debts with me
2.
Well, I owe a lot
She owes a lot
And we’re never catching up
But I’ve never felt the need to save my face
We know we can’t keep up
To what we’ve never caught
And, besides it’s way too late
But now we’re old enough to know this ain’t no race
(bridge)
The Jones’ were born with spoons in their mouths
So they could pay for their head starts
And their daddies all strapped rockets to their backs
But we could barely pay our entry fee
So when the gun went off
We were left behind—at the back of the pack…
3.
And now we can’t keep up
To what we’ve never caught
And, besides it’s way too late
But now we’re old enough to know this ain’t no race
©2017 Todd Leiter-Weintraub
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Soo good! So energetic!
I listened to your album, Chicken on bicycle, last week and it set the bar really high.
This song brings ups it even more!
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Hey Pop Todd. Just listened to this back to back with More Frog Jones Nowhere Fast and the two songs kind of compliment each other, kinda cool!
Love this. It's breezy, great production very enjoyable to listen to. Good pace and tight. Sorry can't offer any criticism I'm afraid,
Thanks for posting a great tune.
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Yo Pops.
Ye-Haaar a good old Rockabilly,schitt kickin' rooster of a choon! ;D
Reminds me the feel and vibe of McGuinnes Flint doing 'When I'm Dead and Gone'. Highly entertaining stuff with a foot jigglin' live feel permeating the song. Great for driving and jiving,but maybe not at the same time. :D
What's not to like? Dunno man,the piece ticks all the boxes. 8)
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Thanks all y'all for listening and for saying such nice things! I'm really happy that you liked it.
I have another new one that I recorded at the same session that I'll post in a couple of days. Looking forward to hearing what you think of that one, too.
Thanks again!
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Soo good! So energetic!
I listened to your album, Chicken on bicycle, last week and it set the bar really high.
This song brings ups it even more!
And thank you for listening to 'Chicken' as well. Glad you enjoyed that, too!
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This sounds like it should be a Dennis Waterman theme toon.
That won't mean anything your side of the pond, and probably not to many people either to be honest.
Great fun.
I was listening to this thinking, I like this but I probably won't listen again coz it's not my style. Now though, I'm not so sure. You might have converted me.
If they ever make another Smokey and the Bandit film, make sure you've got this ready to send off.
Good stuff.
Yodasdad
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Awesome!
Thanks, Yoda!
And you're right, Dennis Waterman means nothing to me. But I'm glad you enjoyed the tune!
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Top notch - the production/mix is sensationally good - sounds like a pro recording. I love the chord changes and the playing is a joy. Cracking lead vocal and this has a lovely energetic feel but it never strains or sounds rushed. Taken as a whole, this is one of the best things I've heard on here for a while. I guess I might be biased because this is the sort of music I would choose to play at home but I just loved it.
M
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Top notch - the production/mix is sensationally good - sounds like a pro recording. I love the chord changes and the playing is a joy. Cracking lead vocal and this has a lovely energetic feel but it never strains or sounds rushed. Taken as a whole, this is one of the best things I've heard on here for a while. I guess I might be biased because this is the sort of music I would choose to play at home but I just loved it.
M
Wow. Thank you so much, Monty! High praise, indeed. I really appreciate it.
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Yo Pop
It's quite a sad song lyrically, I mean, quite powerfully so I wasn't sure on the direction at the beginning; then felt a grave sadness at the truth once revealed. I really liked that. Often songs have a 'reveal' or a twist, but this is more of a long-game which I think is aided by no chorus. Yeah maybe the 'twist' I felt reading them may be the lack of jumping back into a chirpy light-hearted chorus; that it relentlessly darkens the tone throughout.
Music started with just the vigor and excitement I imagined, then I also enjoyed a well-times transition into the bridge. (Loving the vocals especially here).
I also liked how you repeated the bridge and last verse after a very cool instrumental break, kind of like "Yeah this is what I've realised, just in case you didn't catch it.." which just adds to the strength.
If I was to make one suggestion, it would be to really play on that light-hearted into turmoil transition by making the vocals slightly more painful/deteriorated on the second run-through after the musical break.
Anyway very enjoyable listen.
All the best,
Scott.
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Never really thought of the lyrics as "sad" per se. But I guess they are.
Might be why I didn't sing it sad-like.
Thanks so much for listening to it, Scott. I really appreciate the ear and the feedback.
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Really nice contrast between the tub-thumpin' good time mood and the pessimistic lyrics. I thought the vocal could have been slightly louder to hear the words more clearly (could be my dodgy cans...) but apart from that tiny detail, great track all round - manages to be both entertaining and energetic yet still poignant at the same time. I've also been listening to "Chicken on a Bicycle" by the way, via Deezer - great range of styles you cover.
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You are making my night!
Thank you so much!
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This song is AWESOME. Love the rocket to their backs line.
Gee-taaaars, melody and vocals are brill and It’s great fun but with the pessimistic edge, yes. Agreed.
A most memorable listen. Bet it was tons of fun to perform too. Super stuff :)
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Thank you so much!
It is fun to play, yeah.
I actually had that chord progression rolling around for a couple of years... never was able to put lyrics to it until one night they came pouring out.
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Yihaa! Thick slice of stomping-sing-a-long-feel-good-music, me like!
Fab vocals and guitars, top production, no complaints from me, just sitting here we a big smile on my face enjoying the ride.
Bravo!
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Thanks so much!
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Ahh yes, love it. Remember this from WIP and so nice to heard the finished piece. Was great then is great now. Fun, bouncy and fun and bouncy and fun and bouncy. Really enjoyable stuff, thanks mate.
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Ahh yes, love it. Remember this from WIP and so nice to heard the finished piece. Was great then is great now. Fun, bouncy and fun and bouncy and fun and bouncy. Really enjoyable stuff, thanks mate.
Thank YOU!
Really appreciate your listening.
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Nice.. It remember me of Elvis...
Pero me falta Intro.. at least two four beats
I know it doesnt have to be everytime but i miss it.. At least some drums
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PT,
Nice. One great energy and nice detail. Loved the adds libs and guitar solo and end.
Thanks for sharing
:)
Neil
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Thanks Pacho!
Thanks Neil!
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this song takes me to my happy place!
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So good PT! Love the lyrics, vocals and the production is top notch :) Such a fun upbeat track :)
thanks for sharing and can't wait to hear the other new one :)
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So good PT! Love the lyrics, vocals and the production is top notch :) Such a fun upbeat track :)
thanks for sharing and can't wait to hear the other new one :)
Thanks so much, Suzy and Dollysgirl! I really appreciate it!
And, Suzy, you don't have to wait to hear other new one; that one is up, too.
Right here:
http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=14174.0
Thanks again!
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Nominated for Nov. Song Of the Month!
Thanks so much!!!
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Yeah...i saw that...
Not my cup of tea...but very well done. You’re very talented.
I might as well be honest with you...and please correct me if I’m wrong...but you very rarely seem to comment on other members songs and I think that’s a shame. This ain’t no race...and it ain’t no one way street either.
I think your opinion would be well worth hearing more of.
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Yeah...i saw that...
Not my cup of tea...but very well done. You’re very talented.
I might as well be honest with you...and please correct me if I’m wrong...but you very rarely seem to comment on other members songs and I think that’s a shame. This ain’t no race...and it ain’t no one way street either.
I think your opinion would be well worth hearing more of.
I like to give insight and not just comment to comment, so I try to comment when I have time to do so. I would like to do more, yes. But as it is, it is only periodically. I go through spurts, when I have the time.
I'll try to find some time to do some more commenting sometime soon.
There are a lot of very talented people here, you among them, Paul.
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That’d be great...you are a very accomplished writer and performer and I’m sure any comment you could make would be very interesting and helpful. Your songs are always of very high quality and i enjoy your thoughts and comments in The Bar :)
Oh, and thanks :-[
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That’d be great...you are a very accomplished writer and performer and I’m sure any comment you could make would be very interesting and helpful. Your songs are always of very high quality and i enjoy your thoughts and comments in The Bar :)
Oh, and thanks :-[
Thank you, Paul!