[mickeytwonames]

I'm a cider maker and I wrote this about the ancient tradition
Any comments most welcome.

Spoken Intro
Hear ye a tale about cider, the country bumpkins booze.
Hear ye a ballad of the apples the supermarkets refuse.                 

Verse
Orchards bear a bumper crop. Ripe for scrumping, no need to shop.
Perfick for me country bumpkin brew.

There be fruit over my head. There be pomes green and red.
Perfick for me country bumpkin brew.

Chorus
Adam and Eve made a drink for free. Cider from the forbidden tree.
They paid the price for you and me.

Voice over
They got banned by God. Banished from the Garden of Evesham.
For tasting the fruit that makes apple pie

Shake the tree, Mick
Reap some poor man's profit

Verse
Apples raineth on the ground. Apples falleth pound by pound.
Perfick for me country bumpkin brew.

But when one hits the on the nose. Then thee knows thee knows the nose.
The's going to get a country bumpkin bruise.

Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
They don't mean no harm but they come down hard.

So I come home with a bright red conk and the spouse says to me where do get that bonk?
You been fighting Billy Big Bollocks again?

Neigh! I've been down the cider shed taking the medicine that gets rid of everything...
but the trouble and strife.

Adam and Eve made a drink for free. Cider from the forbidden tree.
They paid the price for you and me.

We pulped them apples. Squeezed them till the pips squeak and added some C6H12O6 
That’s the sugar molecule

Then we waiteth and we waiteth, over the long winter months we wait.
Waiteth for Spring's first Cuckoo.

A Cuckoo's calling – It's barrel tapping time – To the Cider shed and beyond

There be cider in the shed. There be need for cheese and bread
Perfick for me country bumpkin brew.

There be a cider drinking spree. Friends as far as ye can see.
Perfick for me country bumpkin brew.
We got gallons of (hic) the perfick (hic) Country bumpkin booze.

Adam and Eve made a drink for free. Cider from the forbidden tree.
And the snake paid the TAX!
The snake paid the TAX!
The serpent paid the TAX!
So we drink for free.              So we can get legless for free.

[beckylucythomas]

Nice one! This really made me smile...right the way through, silly jokes that put a big smile on my face.

There were a few bits where it went a bit quiet, long pauses, but I'm imagining that's where, if you're performing it live, you get the audience involved and laughing with a bit of pulling faces and physical humour. That's how it is in my head anyway.

You're obviously a really good performer!

[mickeytwonames]

Very kind - it does go down well. (the Cider that is)

[Neil C]

Well I love cider - go on give us a free plug for your brew!
Good fun - but it raised one important question - how many pints did you have to consume in order to be properly inspired to write it?
 
Neil

[mickeytwonames]

A steady drip feed - fortunately I have a cellar full of it - anyone welcome anytime - Pershore Worcs UK. There's spare guitars too.