The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: TheButcher on March 15, 2016, 04:53:41 PM
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Hi;
maybe just a demo - maybe finished.
will try to participate here more soon.
not sure bout the words - like - if they re correct...
tx so much everyone.
https://soundcloud.com/inside-man-1/far-from-home
you cant find relief
it s what your murmurs told me
sometimes you re like porcelain
but try not to break again
when you are not there
every place feels far from home
i m far from home
when you are not there
everything is lost and lone
lost and lone
you don t know why you have to go
but still you leave
when you are not there
every place feels far from home
i m far from home
when you are not there
everything is lost and lone
lost and lone
every place feels far from home
every place
far
from home
far from home
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A somber song which I quite enjoyed.. :) liked the harmonies and liked the strange lyrics, songs don't need to make sense IMHO..
nice work my friend.. :)
and yeah..participate.. :) :)
Best, Kevin :)
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Absolutely loved the trippy,dreamlike quality here. Was there a percussive rhythm faintly in the mix? If so I'd like it a bit more prominent. The harmonies and laid back vocals were lovely,as for lyrics,I was along for the ride anyway. I don't need to always understand.
Great listen mister butcher and great to see you posting again.
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Nice, dreamy, acoustic, relaxing sound. Lyrics? Right or wrong? Your call. I liked them. They made more sense than some others I've heard. On the radio, even. I understood them to be saying everything is no good when [someone] is not there. The harmonies were unusual, I thought, but I liked them. I am so stuck in the mud; I have a tendency to think I have to follow rules. All the time. So I have trouble coming up with something actually creative. Like this song. :)
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Liked it. Reminded me of Kurt and Dave groll. Deserves a huge grunge last verse and chorus.
Nice stuff man
Pompeyjazz
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Really nice. Lovely atmosphere. Just floats along as if in a dream and the harmonies are just so. The lyrics fit the mood well and the feel - and the distant percussion - are integrated very well. Really good work. Late night music!
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So nice to hear something from you B...been missing your presence :)
I love what you do with your songs, and this is no exception :)
this has that dreamy, floating atmosphere that's right up my alley 8)
your vocals are always so sweet and I quite like the unusual harmonies :)
As far as the lyrics go, I think they suit the feel of this...the only English correction
would be in "lost and lone"...should be 'alone', but maybe you dropped the 'a' purposely :o
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Hi,
Cool song.
The guitars sound nice and rich.
The vocals work well together.
I like the live sound of the recording.
My kind of mood and lyrics.
Nice one,
Digger
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Love your chorus here Butch...harmonies are great.
Guitar is real nice.
Oh I see Suzy's mentioned that 'lone'. It's not quite right really but 'alone' wouldn't be as good...you'd lose the alliteration. A thought did come to me that you could say 'lost and lone' first then 'lost and lonely' on the repeat which would also give you the chance to stretch up on the last syllable 'lone-leeeeeeee' which would kind of give it a plaintive end to the phrase....might completely ruin the cool atmosphere you've got though!
Great sound and vocal good as ever...those harmonies work big time for me. They make the track really.
Is it finished? Only you can decide that!
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Hi!, love the chord structure,guitar sounds,harmony and melody, good to hear your stuff again.
Cheers
Jamie
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Hey there Butcher.........nice vibe...has a mellow surface with a distinct disturbed undertow. Somber and dark......good to listen to by candle light.
Hauntingly good stuff!
8)-Tom
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Great stuff - I always say music needs melody, lyrics and "feel" and I think the feel of this one really conveys the message. I wish I had a one syllable word meaning "lone" but the best I could come up with was "gone" which is pushing the rhyme a bit...
Really enjoyable stuff.
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It's an unusual title. Were you deliberately trying to suggest something unfinished?
Otherwise, I mainly echo what others have said - beguiling dreamy atmosphere, tantalizing lyrical content, beautifully understated performance. Well crafted.
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i REALLY liked this
Such a great vibe and I love the "open" chords, which add a lovely flavour to the track
The vocals are really nice - warm and silky as velvet without being too "muddy", which is quite difficult to achieve
I think this would be a great song to use in TV & Film as I think it would work superbly with visuals
Great stuff
I also agree with POMPEYJAZZ that a "grunge" last verse and chorus would work well, which I think is a great call
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Hi Butch,
Love the guitar playing and the dreamy, floaty feel. Cool vocals. Lyrics are ambiguous which is fine by me. Nice easy, natural melody and sweet harmonies. Reminded me a little of David Crosby's solo work which is a very good thing. Can't hear anything I don't like.
Lovely
M
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It has to be listened to loud to catch all the nuances and every bits of it, how much talent does it take to keep audience listening with just a man and his guitar? You know the answer. ;)
Delightful and neat song.
Bravo my friend.
Nono.
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Big thank you to everyone:
shadowfax, skub, CaliaMoko, pompeyazz, delb0y, crystalsuzy, digger72, Cramer, Jamie, Ironknee, adamfarr, GuyBarry, Boydie, montydog, retro.
hope i forgot none :)
Just if anyone is interested:
I m not writing many songs since a year - cause i m doing this other music project, it s gonna be mainly ?dance? music....so.... :) We hope to finish it within the next 2 months and then become rockstars - lol.
This song here was the only one i wrote in the last 12 months and it s dedicated to my love.
Tx everyone for the support.
peace
B.
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Love the guitars on this track, really felt in the way they were played and a good subtle vocal over the top of it. Really nice track - why on earth would you want to do dance lol....
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Hey Martyn,
Tx
why on earth would you want to do dance lol....
i don t. but maybe some other people are going to dance to it.
Also, i ve been making this slow acoustic stuff for 4 years now and it was time for sth new :)
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Also, i ve been making this slow acoustic stuff for 4 years now and it was time for sth new :)
Definitely agree with keeping things fresh, just complimenting the song the best way I could. I write in all sorts of styles, its good not to be restrained by one particular genre.
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Cool,song,
Love the sentiment and the lyrics plus great guitars.
Sandeep
https://soundcloud.com/sandeep-issar/keep-on-pushing
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nicely chilled really nice vocals
hypnotic
love all the little sparks in the atmosphere
misty
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Nice open chords, sounds like DADGAD tuning ? great harmonies original vibe to this.
Really liked the emotional comtent.
Regards,
Frenchy
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Neat and intimate
Kind of creeps up on you, with the lovely interesting chords and harmonies.
Restrained
:)
Neil
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Love the lyric. It's clever, succinct and thought provoking. Good sound on the guitar but definitely needs more than that IMO. I can hear the bass, drums and backing vox in my head and I want them in my ears!
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Really interesting track, held my attention easily.
Fascinating harmonies towards the end, really spooky and very enjoyable.
Well done.
Tom.