[joe gardner]

this is my first post here and this is my first demo, its called chalk. it was written by me and my friend sean, we're calling ourselves zoo.

what do you think of the name also?

all critique welcome.

thanks,

joe

you touched the sky, and i stayed on the ground.
and all of the while i felt you'd let me down,
and all of the time, i thought you'd come around,
but all of the while you felt i'd let you down.

[Songsmith]

hi Joe,

yeah this is great, you could develop it an awful lot more I think, it sounds like you've got some cool things going on inside your head so bring them out I say!! I love the lyric & the ideas you've got going are cool, nice one 

[jim morrison]

Really like it ,great samples, it's got quite a beck feel to it, i'd definately turn this into a full lengthter

[JackHalkabar]

wow man, i really like this whole oldskool kinda distroted vocal think, i think its a great song...

[joe gardner]

hey guys thanks so much for the feedback! i'll give it a go at lengthening it out a bit. i see what you mean its just kind of short. a beck feel! awesome! thanks again!

[nooms]

love this from the start
very atmospheric
id think twice about adding to it, its unique at this length & kinda special and i def wanted more ..
could be the perfect set up for another song...and staying in control and keeping interest in the band, its intrigueing...
on this you are in control, no question, its like a little movie and your the director keeping us on the edge of the seat
whatever,
absolutely love it
great stuff
nooms

zoo is a good name though i wouldnt mind betting its taken..'chalk zoo' could be better

[James Nighthawk]

Very nice. Love the super clean acoustic guitar played very neatly against the distorted vocal ttack

Agree with the Beck reference. And Beck when he is good, not just loud and messy!

The simple glock melody works well too.

The only issue with extending it would be that you would likely have to change the guitar pattern around, or, provide a new layer or two somewhere, so it doesn't start to wash. Something to bear in mind going forward with it

Keep it coming!!

[cheff daniel]

cooool!




gr.    Dan

[bewarethisboy]

I love it lots and would love lots more if there was lots more - if you see what I mean. 

[S.T.C]

I was waiting for the car to move off,

yeah it`s good...it sounds like someone i`m sure but can`t think who.......think you need to add another dynamic to it...maybe a bit of piano...i will have to have another listen..

[Dutchbeat]

Joe, it is smashing!

kicking, just weird and great at the same time

go for it!

[Schavuitje]

Enjoyed this very much and I agree with nooms that at this length it has a magical quality.

I was hearing Beck and floyd at the same time. And I really admire both.

On "The Wall" by Floyd there are lots of these short pieces of music that always leave you wanting more. Like

the part where he's smashed up his apartment and is re-arranging everything in some drug induced stupor.

Definately has that feeling of being a lead to somewhere else.

Very nice. Like it a lot. 

[tina m]

this reminded me of the velvet undergrounds andy warhol album .......where are the vocal samples from?
very promising...i liked it

[Cameron Fielding]

You've definitely got to extend this one. Got a very nice feel to it. Could feel which way I would hear it going, with a gradual build of sound to keep drawing the listener further in.

Nice one.

[joe gardner]

Thankyou all for your kind and supportive and helpful comments! I think after a week or so of listening and getting feedback i am going to keep it at this length. as nooms said i think its a good set up for another song so thats how I'll keep it. Theres some really great comparisons here that have blown my mind a bit haha. FLOYD!! thats mental, but thank you i'm very flattered. Theres is more to come but me and sean (the guy that i write with) are just sorting through what we like and dont, we'll chuck another up in a week or so.

again thanks for being so helpful guys this place is great!

joe