I'm already working on something else but if anyone wants this, feel free. If you want to go for the comedy angle I've written a short War of the Worlds spoof song based on orange skinned, stupid aliens hiding in their secret lair under the basildon sign, plotting and planning to spray the whole population orange like them. It's a conspiracy theory about why TOWIE is even a thing.. Being from Essex, I am none too impressed by the constant reinforcement of the Essex stereotype.
If you're familiar with War of the Worlds, the first part is spoken in true Richard Burton style and the main lyric was written with the tune of Thunderchild in mind. Obviously that's just a start point, you may want to change it completely, or ditch the whole thing I wont be offended, it is a bit silly.
Here is Thunderchild for reference
And here is the lyric..
War of the Well Jels..(spoken)
Noone would have believed that in the last years of the 20th century, as mankind steadily charted and explored the frontiers of space and time ,minds immeasurably inferior to ours, watched this planet with envious eyes, and slowly, and surely they sprayed their tans against us!
Dum dum dum... (instrumental etc..)
They landed on a Tuesday
It was cold and dark and grey
With their orange skin they stood out
So they had to hide away
They built themselves a hideout
By the A one two seven
Under grassy hillock
Just in Basildon
They built a sign to make distraction
On the roof above the lair
Basildon in big white letters
As per the plan nobody cared
They were busy underneath though
Mixing tan to spray the world
Soon they'd overwhelm us
Orange Essex girls...
Orange Essex giiiirls
Soon they'd overwhelm us..
Orange Essex girls
As they spread their deadly potions
So they could walk among us free
Everybody there went orange
And wore golden jewellery
With those aliens among us
They invaded day by day
And then they got TV show
TOWIE was its name
TOWIE was its name
And then they got TV show
TOWIE was its name
