Your singing style is interesting and draws attention to the song. Nevertheless, your singing style is a bit too dramatic for my taste. For instance, you sing the line "heading for the station" with emphasis although walking to the station is an undramatic, everyday activity.
As far as I can see, the lyrics are good; the rhymes are perfect. Still, I would like to make the following comments:
- About the line "now I'm gonna miss my train" in the chorus: I think that this line does not fit the other lines of the chorus well because, at least usually, to miss one's train is something far less severe than to be attacked physically.
- In my opinion the chorus ("everybodys screaming …") describes what is happening and so is better suited for a verse. (However, its rhyme scheme is not that of a verse.) By the way, the text of the bridge ("did anybody come …") is a comment on what is happening and so is well suited for a chorus.
- Verse three ("lost a few teeth…") describes the effect of what has happened and so should be the last verse. (By the way, I see you have version four of this song now, and in this version verse three is indeed the last verse.)