The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Welsh Steve on November 11, 2019, 06:27:29 PM
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https://soundcloud.com/steve-lewis-36/hourglass
I've written this one about ageing, and getting older
Daylight cessation
Heartbeat left behind
Setting sun's becoming colder
Time's never on our side
Make the most of all you've got today
Cos you may not have tomorrow
Shadows in every corner
Collecting heartache reaping souls
Faceless figures wait impatiently
To steal your spirit take control
Make the most of all you've got today
Cos you may not have tomorrow
Don't turn over your hourglass
Trouble is you think you have the time
Life keeps on falling through your hourglass
Till there's nothing nothing left behind
Make the most of all you've got today
Cos you may not have tomorrow
Make the most of all you've got today
Cos you may not have tomorrow
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@Welsh Steve (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22316),
I’d take a great deal of reverb from the rhythm guitar especially. It really dominates the mix so that it competes with the main vocal. The track loses it’s cutting edge because of that single element.
It’s great to hear backing vocals which always add an extra dimension to a production. I’d also raise the backing vocals “You may not have tomorrow” and once again, lose some of that reverb. This is a very accessible song otherwise!
Paul
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Cheers bud....I'll give it a go
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Intriguing intro with the flanged guitar and rhythm. Like it when when you double the vocals adds power and it’s catchy. Agree with wicked about getting the vocals right in the mix.
Getting a touch of Floyd in there somewhere.
:-)
Neil
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Wow...I'm a Floyd fan...but I didn't realise that it sounded that way. Thank you so much
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Yeah, I'm getting the Floyd vibe, +1 with @Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231) comments.
Might sound a little thicker with some Acoustic Drums on top..some tidy ideas, with the BV's and the doubling of the LVox.
Cool song
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Hey man, I dig that chorus, I love how you layer the vox on the last one especially with that throw delay on the punch line. I think the percussion gets a touch loud in places, but nice work.🎶👊🏻🎶