Okay, as other people said, I really admire you for putting this all down in words, and I hope it is helping you deal with your memories. I think this sort of emotion is what makes for truly powerful songs, but also to tap into it you have to make yourself sort of vulnerable, which must be hard for such a horrible experience. Well done. However, I will offer you some of my opinions since I'm sure you wanted some criticism from posting it, right?
The verses I really love, the first one really sets the scene and the second one conveys a lot of emotion. I really like the dark and the burning lights device you used there. But I am not fond of the chorus. Apart from "Was brutal love your life letter to me? And the one I left for my son, Reminds him I'll never leave", which I see a lot of meaning in, nothing hooks me about the rest of the lines:
You're not a hero
(This is a cliche. Chliches are fine maybe in the flow of a verse or if you twist them ironically or something, but starting your chorus with an unaltered cliche doesn't provide that sort of explosion you want to stand out from other songs in my opinion)
And this is not a dream
(Again, not a very individual line, doesn't say much. It's emphasis sure, but you never implied that we might think it was a dream so it's really not relevant - you could put something more poignant in)
You're another dead beat father
(This makes sense, and you might be able to fit it in with other more powerful lyrics, but put in after some cliche and nondescript lines its just another phrase we hear too much "dead-beat dad". I haven't heard a song with it in though, so I think you can use it some other way as I said. I like how you're hammering home the point unashamedely - you leave no room for doubt. You don't have to do that though)
That forgiveness can't redeem
(This is fine, but it doesn't redeeem this first half of the chorus.)
So I would rewrite that half of the chorus. Don't even be afraid to rewrite the whole chorus to make it even stronger... a song I wrote recently had 3 different drafts in 3 completely different styles with different lyrics telling the same story and in the end a lot of stuff that made me emotional was thrown out for something better. I'm still attached to the other versions, but they're not THE ONE. If you can't find really really strong, emotional and poignant-to-the-message lines to complete your chorus. I find it's better to work with a bit more repetition. It's simple and effective emphasis that will make it catchier too.
It seems a bit like I'm ripping into your song - I'm really not. Others have already told you its good. But when I see someone putting in effort, I want to give the most detailed criticisms I can so they can really get something out of it. Hope you appreciate that, and I hope it helped a little.
