[tomcrocus]

Why is just a word,except is no exception
why am i still kicking stones yeah why man that's the question
i don't wanna live forever but i'm not prepared yet to die
but why am i still kicking stones yeah the question man is why

except is no exception bizarre is just absurd
have you got the answer,the answer to the word
bizarre is just so absurd the joker he's a chancer
and if why is just a word,have you got the answer

i look in the mirror and i see the proof
what i'd give for a bottle of youth
i've slept in the gutter and on many a roof
what i'd give for a bottle of youth
i look in the mirror and i see the truth
what i'd give for a bottle of youth
i used to be kitsch now i'm not too couth
what i'd give for a bottle of youth

if except is no exception and i'm not prepared yet to die
have you got the answer to the question that is why
man this life is so absurd just leave me off the clock
last night i walked this earth alone and i kicked another rock

why is just a word,except is no exception
why am i still kicking stones yeah why man that's the question
i don't wanna live forever but i'm not prepared yet to die
but why am i still kicking stones yeah the question man is why
i never wanna live forever but i'm not prepared yet to die
but why am i still kicking stones yeah the question man is why.

[Sing4me88]

I like the philosophical vibe of this one. When reading I felt perhaps 'i'm not prepared yet to die' felt more conversational and natural if tweaked slightly to 'I'm not yet prepared to die'. This one has obvious hook and it's obviously quite repetitive which is no bad thing in itself especially f there's a catchy melody in tow. I quite liked the line 'I was to be kitsch now I'm not too couth'. I think this is well crafted as a lyric but at times I found the flow a bit difficult. As a 'read' its kinda hard to imagine the genre or even how this could be set to music. You'll 'hear' the lyrics and have a melody in mind so you'll obviously have greater insight than I do. There's also an unusual but very interesting structure to this one ie verse-pre-chorus-pre-verse. Its a breath of fresh air an I like the dynamic of having the chorus actually the least repeated part of the song - crafty subterfuge!

[Vintage54]

        Hi Tom,
           Reliable as ever, your words don't need music man, the music is in the words. Think music would only detract, the way it does with John cooper clarke. What i would give for a bottle of youth! Just dandy.

                        Vintage54

[Leo18]

I agree, not yet prepared to die cool lyrics!

[PeeJay]

Hi Tom,

I could do with a swig of that.

I thought this was really good. Nice word play as ever. Seems catchy just on reading it.

Phil.

[tomcrocus]

Sing4me88
Vintage
Leo18
Peejay,
           thanks a lot for the feedback i appreciate it,
i'm no spring chicken but i'm certainly no dinosaur either,
                                                                              cheers,tom.

[johnlondon]

I like this, some neat lines, good wordplay, works as song lyrics or stand alone poem.

[PaulAds]

Yeah...I'm in too 

My favourite line?

"I've slept in the gutter and on many a roof"

Great work, Tom

[Paulski]

Good stuff Tom - rhythmically captivating!

My only nit (from a singer's perspective) is the phrase

"except is no exception"

Man that's hard to say, let alone sing.
And you'd make me sing it 6 times! Have mercy  !

Paul

[tomcrocus]

Thanks paul for the feedback but i don't know why the
heck this is back on page one,i checked the forum out
on saturday and somebody calling themselves "a bottle of youth"
had left a comment,it was just some cosmetics advertisement,it's
now been deleted,i now want the bottle to drift away again,
                                                                                 cheers,
                                                                                            tom.