The only nit I can find is in the formatting. It would be easier to follow if you left spaces between some more of your verses. I also added one of your "bridges" in earlier in the song as someone else suggested.
I think this is an exceptional lyric. It's very long, but if it were mine, I wouldn't shorten it. The whole story is what makes this exceptional.
One other suggestion. The all-caps are difficult to read.
VERSE:
SHE SITS ALL ALONE WITH A DRINK IN HER HAND
AND STARES OUT THE WINDOW FOR HOURS ON END
SHES TALKING TO SOMEONE, ------ BUT NOBODIES THERE.
VERSE:
SHE TURNS ON THE TV IN TIME FOR THE NEWS
AND LOOKS AT THE CLOCK BUT THE HANDS NEVER MOVE
THERES A LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY ---- HOPING SOMEBODY CALLS
BRIDGE:
SHE GOES BACK TO THE MOVIES AND HAPPIER TIMES
WITH BOGIE AND HARLOW AND LAUREN BACALL
TO THE DAYS WHEN HER WORLD WAS THE BIG SILVER SCREEN
AND CAGNEY WAS ON TOP OF THE WORLD
CHORUS
LONELINESS CREEPS IN SO MANY DISGUISES
AND BITES BEFORE ANYONE KNOWS
ONCE IT WAS A HOUSE THAT WAS SO FULL OF LAUGHTER
NOW ITS A PLACE, THAT NOBODY GOES.[/i]
VERSE:
NOT LONG AGO SHE HAD FAMILY AND FRIENDS
BUT THEY MOVED AWAY, AND THAT WAS THE END
AND NOW THERE IS NO ONE ----- NO ONE AT ALL.
VERSE:
SOMETIMES SHE LOOKS AT HER OLD PHOTOGRAPHS
AND WISHES THAT YESTERDAY, WASN'T THE PAST
BUT SHE CANT BRING IT BACK ---- THAT YESTERDAYS GONE
CHORUS
LONELINESS CREEPS IN SO MANY DISGUISES
AND BITES BEFORE ANYONE KNOWS
ONCE IT WAS A HOUSE THAT WAS SO FULL OF LAUGHTER
NOW ITS A PLACE, THAT NOBODY GOES.
BRIDGE:
SHE GOES BACK TO THE MOVIES, WHERE EVERYONE SMILES
WHEN GABLE STOOD BY, AS TARA BURNED DOWN
AND SAID "FRANKLY MY DEAR
I DONT GIVE A DAMN"
CLOSING BRIDGE TO OUT:
EVERY VAUDEVILLE SONG, SHE SINGS ALONG
BUT SHE MAKES UP THE WORDS, AS SHE GOES ALONG
AND TONIGHT SHE WILL SMILE, BE ALIVE FOR A WHILE
AND WISHES THAT SHE WAS THE STAR
THERES A SMILE ON HER FACE WHEN THE HERO ARRIVES
AND THEY JUST GET AWAY, FROM THE BAD GUYS
MAKE A RUN FOR THE HILLS AND SHE LOOKS IN HIS EYES
MAYBE THIS TIME HE MIGHT EVEN SAVE HER
