The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Morefrog Jones on October 23, 2017, 06:53:08 PM
-
Finally finished my dark side of the tune competition.
and with it being over five minutes long its perfect length for a certain solo activity.
Although you have got to be pretty sick to get off on this one ;D
Ive gone for dark, sick and controversial so as to cover all bases and i'll assume the listener can work out any meanings.
https://soundcloud.com/morefrog-jones/bring-you-down-demo
Bring You Down
Lyrics
You think you ...can follow me everywhere
but I know ways I can hide from your stare
Just back from a war zone with a stolen id
With a passport photo clearly not me.
Hey Hey..................
Came through the airport with no signs of grief
You were more interested in too much duty free
and strip searching stag boys home from Tenerife.
Better Run and don't look round
Cause I'm gonna bring you down
You need to lucky everytime
But I dont need luck because my cause is devine.
No swirling confusion of a madmans crusade
72 tastes of paradise is how i'll be paid
Hey Hey............
You might be wondering how I slipped through the net
I'm a monster created you all seem to forget
Peace be upon him and the words of his book
You better run and don't look round
Cause I'm going to bring you down
Cheers
MFJ
-
Hey dude,
Very high chance it's just me but when I follow the link the quality of the track comes out terrible, but when I go to your channel and click on it there's a massive difference. I checked and the link is the same but thought I'd give the heads up for in case anyone else finds the same. Very unusual and I listened to the whole thing twice in utter confusion.
Now on to the track, I'm really digging the subtle techno sounds you have along side the guitar. I know it's a technique you've ever been afraid of but there's a particularly satisfying blend of sounds on this.
Usually stay away from songs forcefully controversial but this managed to avoid that mostly for me - had a bit of a "Everybody Hates Monday's" or "Teenagers" vibe where you're jamming to the tune before you realise the subject, and can't stop after!
Keep em coming!
All the best,
Scott
-
Yo MFJ.
Now this is a dark piece. Not full of imaginary monsters,but those of real substance. Be afraid,chickens are coming home to roost.
Great vocals and arrangement/sound.
I thought at first I'd have stopped the song maybe a minute earlier,but on further consideration it all adds to the sense of pending doom.
-
Morefrog...
Did you just say all those things out alound, That cover made me chuckle though.....
I know its a demo but I reckon the final master will be smashing the speakers out the park.
Listening to the track while reading the lyrics is amusing and then clocking the cover image.. ;D
Great work.
-
Hey morefrog
Liking this one - like an early stones album only surfacing now.
Great vocals and use of lyrical hooks - hey hey and bring you down. ;D ;D
Should do well in the race - nice work ;D
Paul
-
Hi MFJ,
Now, this IS dark, and not just dark but dark and real !
This is an epic piece, clever use of instrumentation and a fusion of styles topped off with the famous Morefrog vocals, a huge chunk of attitude and some very cutting lyrics
But it's over 4 minutes ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Love it :)
-
Hi Morefrog,
I don't find the song particularly dark, sick or controversial. In a way it's very predictable. Tom Waits covered the same thing in The Road to Peace.
The song itself reminded me of John Lennon's early solo work.
Good luck in the competition.
Keith
-
Really like the synth touches in this mate, especially the intro... you bring the drums in at just the right time. Musically it doesn't feel dark at all to me... it's quite 'feel good' and triumphant - until you listen closely to the words and get the sting in the tail. That irony of the subject matter and the feel is very unusual and what makes this stand out. Liked the change of key for the middle 8 too. Nice one, good luck in the comp.
-
This is great, MFJ :)
Typically anthemic and packing a really powerful punch.
Love it!
-
My favorite part is the "down down's". I'm especially dense, so I'm not sure I get what it's all about, but somehow it makes me want to listen to it. At first I didn't think I liked it, but by the end of the first time through, I was hooked. In spite of the length, it didn't seem too long. If I wanted to pick nits, I might mention how some of the word endings seem to be missing, but I think I'll pass.
Vicki
-
I love the rhythm of the piece which is driven the vocals. Loads going on in the mix, big production number, sitting comfortably alongside lo-fi guitar noodling. It's actually catchy too, I found myself singing along then I found it stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck in my head.
-
The mediocre sound quality gives the song a nonchalant expression. It could have been longer.
-
Well this a poignant topic.
Thus moves along nicely, liked the down down down gonna bring you down hook.
Personally I'd have liked to have heard the lyrics even darker, despicable and obnoxious but good job on tackling this as a subject.
Good luck in the comp.
Yodasdad
-
Well this a poignant topic.
Thus moves along nicely, liked the down down down gonna bring you down hook.
Personally I'd have liked to have heard the lyrics even darker, despicable and obnoxious but good job on tackling this as a subject.
Good luck in the comp.
Yodasdad
I bottled it ;D - Was tempted to call it 'Gonna Run You down'
I bowed down to the god of political correctness >:(
and cleaned it all up to try and make it acceptable for the snowflake generation.
Cheers Everyone for the comments so far.
-
Very Morefrog which is good. Good groove and sounds....great vocal as usual.
Really quite hooky that chorus and pre-chorus bits build up to it nicely.
Maybe it was a bit on the long side (I can talk!) and somehow even with that good 'down down' hook it didn't pack as much punch as it potentially could....for me....hard to please git that I am.
-
Somebody said John Lennon and I totally agree soundwise - and then the content is so much the opposite, that makes for a very extreme contrast. I struggle a little with those words going together with such a sing-a-long anthem. But then I am no stranger to the concept of marrying dark words with happy sounds.
Intriguing.
Bye Wolfi
-
Hi
I like how the darkness is somewhat hidden from view by the cheery music and vocal melody - the terror/horror in plain sight.
Quite catchy really.
Liked the music and thought the vocals worked well.
Digger
-
Like the lyrics,
Then the layered backing seeps in with a neat rhythm.
And then we get to a strong chorus.
I think the vocal fx work well for you on this.
:)
neil