[TPistilli]

I have a song that I have been working on for quite a while.  It is called "Little Boy Blue".   I have a very rough recording of it (I am not much of a singer/musician) that will give a general idea.  I would love to have someone record it who is more talented than me.  I have a problem with the chorus (more of a refrain).  It is generic and not interesting.  Any suggestions would be great! Even a complete redone chorus would be great. I can provide chords if anyone is interested.  The chords do not match up to lyrics correctly when copying into forum.   Thank you.

https://soundcloud.com/ctonyp/little-boy-blue-dec2014

Little Boy Blue

Little Boy Blue, barely four years old
And his teen-aged mama, how she loved him so
But the crying of the drugs screamed so much louder than him

He was left by himself, for days at a time
Scrounging for scraps, and covered in grime
While mama’s latest flame left his body broken and bruised

Ooh, ooh….Little Boy Blue…
It could’ve been me, it could’ve been you

Little Boy Blue was finally taken away
Placed with a family in a place far away
It may not be his home but, thank God, at least he was safe

He spent a couple years bouncing home to home
Causin’ all kinds of trouble and he thinks he knows
If he wasn’t such a bad little boy, maybe then he could stay

Ooh, ooh….Little Boy Blue….
It could’ve been me, it could’ve been you

Then a couple was willing to make him their own
Not just for a while, but until he is grown
Sharing life, love, and laughter and even give him their name

No more, Little Boy Blue
No, no more, Little Boy Blue
No no no no no, Little Boy Blue, blue, no…
No no no no no, Little Boy Blue

Just like that little boy all broken within
Isolated from God, and abused by sin
Then God gave His only Son, to give us new life

No more, Little Boy Blue
No, no more, Little Boy Blue
No no no no no, Little Boy Blue, blue, no…
No no no no no, Little Boy Blue

[sundaysongsmiths]

Hi,
Liked the sincerity of the theme of the song. The underling journey of the boy is compelling. More personal details about the boy's experiences may enhance the verses. Liked the chorus perhaps you might consider doubling up on it. Over all a very nice work in progress.

Regards,
Mike and Jay

[TPistilli]

Mike and Jay,
Thanks for the input. I really appreciate it.  I have been re-working it and here are the lyrics as well as a link to the new recording. I think it makes more sense now...still got a lot of work to do on the recording part. (it says final, but that's just the song structure that is final)...in the lyrics below, the chords placement got messed up in the copy/paste thing...

https://soundcloud.com/ctonyp/little-boy-blue-final

Little Boy Blue
 
Intro:  D D Bm E (x2)

Verse1:
F#m                                    D
The Little Boy Blue, barely four years old
             E
And his teen-aged mama, how she loved him so
             F#m                                          D                      E
But the drugs and the booze weren’t the only thing she abused
             F#m                       D
He was left by himself, for days at a time
A
Scrounging for scraps, and covered in grime
          F#m                                     A                         E
While mama’s latest flame left his body broken and bruised

Chorus:
A       E                         F#m    E
Ooh, ooh….Little Boy Blue….
                                  D E                          A     E
Needs someone to care, somebody like you

(1/2 Intro)

Verse 2:
Little Boy Blue was finally taken away
Placed with a family in a place far away
It may not be his home but, thank God, at least he was safe
 
He spent a couple years bouncing home to home
Causing all kinds trouble and he thinks he knows,
If he wasn’t such a bad little boy, maybe then he could stay
 
Chorus

(full intro)
(instrumental 1st 1/2 of verse)(drama)
 
Verse 3:
Then came a couple to make him their own
Not just for a while, but until he is grown
Sharing life, love, and laughter and even give him their name

Ending:
A       E                     F#m    E
No more, Little Boy Blue
A          E                        F#m    E
No, no more, Little Boy Blue
A               E                      A               E
No no no more, Little Boy Blue, blue no
A              E                       A
No no no more Little Boy Blue