[montydog]

Hello fellow songwriters. Here's another song from yours truly. This started off as a melody and arrangement I wrote for a collab with Benjo who had written some lyrics. I then took the melody I had written and combined it with a new set of my lyrics. So thanks Benjo for the initial inspiration.

This is a song about the American Civil War and how it destroyed families and lives as looked at from the losing side (the south). No glory, just a crushing humiliation which still affects the south today.

The "Southern Cross" is the name for the confederate (southern) forces' flag, the "Mason Dixon Line" is the boundary on the map between the states of The Union (the north) and the Confederacy.

https://soundcloud.com/alan-walker-4/southern-cross-ghosts-in-the-night

I hope you like it and I look forward to your comments.

M

This is the summer Of 1863
Grant's taken Vicksburg
And the Devil's running free
Out in the wheatfields
The weeds have grown high
Old paint is fading
Like an October sky

All over the south
A soft, silent rain
As the sun's going down
Only darkness remains

Graveyards are filling
With grey marker stones
Prayers and mourning
Cold earth and bones

Southern cross is burning
I can see by it's light
A hundred thousand faces
Like ghosts in the night

My mother was crying
As I said goodbye
My brothers were lost on
The Mason Dixon line

How could I stay here
When men such as these
Have fallen like blossom
From Magnolia trees

All over the south
A soft, silent rain
As the sun's going down
Only darkness remains

A bugler is calling
Standing alone
Dirty rags walking
Down long dusty roads

Away on the hillsides
The children look on
A hundred thousand voices
But only one song

All over the south
A soft, silent rain
As the sun's going down
Only darkness remains

Graveyards are filling
With grey marker stones
Prayers and mourning
Cold earth and bones

Southern cross is burning
I can see by it's light
A hundred thousand faces
Like ghosts in the night
Like ghosts in the night
Like ghosts in the night

[TheButcher]

Wow;

very nice montydog - very beautiful songwriting, lyrics, arangement.

Your playing and singing is on the usual high level.

The topic reminds me of one of my all time favourites:

The night they drove old dixie down

in terms of mixing; in some parts of the song, when there s a banjo or the "wurlizer" kinda piano: I think the vox is a little too quiet compared to the instrumental in these parts.

Apart from that, it s sooo good, that you write songs like these; songs with a real topic; songs that have sth to say; very very good.

B

[tokenangmoh]

Hi Alan.

I clicked the SoundCloud link before I read your blurb, and I spent about thirty disconcerting seconds thinking "this sounds familiar", before I became convinced you had accidentally plagiarised yourself (which is something I have done before, to my embarrassment). I even searched your SoundCloud stream for Hobo (I Ride the Rails) to confirm my suspicions...

The good news is your melody is clearly very strong if I'm able to recognise it despite only having listened to the original twice. I particularly like the melodic phrasing of

All over the south
A soft, silent rain
As the sun's going down
Only darkness remains

The bad news is that I, like many, associate the South in the American civil war with racism. This would be an entirely side-steppable problem, except for the line "Southern cross is burning". My mind then immediately goes to the Ku Klux Klan - and from then on there's no saving the song for me, I'm afraid.

I think if you can work round this issue, this would be very strong. (Although I really like benjo's lyrics too, and see no pressing need to replace them.)

Sorry to infect you with my white liberal guilt...

Matt

[Paulski]

Hi Alan
Your voice is as smooth as silk again on this one.
It's a really good song too - loved the banjo background picks (though there is a little too much reverb on it in the intro). I wondered if this could be made "edgier" given the subject matter - I'm thinking along the Neil Young "Southern Man" style. That would mean some bite in the guitars, some snare at least (military style) and sing it in a lot higher key with less reverb. Don't ask for much do I? Either way, the lyrics are captivating and it rides along nicely thru the southern landscape.
Nice write!
Paul

[Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra]

As Paulski says, it rides along nicely with a good rhythm. Some nice lyrical touches add to a well-told story and the chorus is catchy lyrically and melody-wise.
I didn't 'see' the burning cross of the Klan. I was thinking of the Southern Cross constellation. Don't know if you had that in mind or were simply implying the conflegration of war.

The touches of dobro(?) are nice and the harmonica goes so well with a song like this. I like the banjo nod to Dixie at the start but wasn't too fond of the banjo pickin' bit. And I'm sorry to say that I do think the organ was a tad too loud again. Not too much but just at times it seemed to be dominating a bit too much.

Only one thing that occurred to melodically and feel free to ignore me completely.
In the section 'All over the South etc....' (which is a good part that adds to the song immeasureably) I Wonder if you could go to a B on the 'rain' instead of to the G like you do for the 'south'. Just a bit of melodic variation which works but might not be what you want.....

Good song anyway with an authentic feel for the subject matter.

[Neil C]

Alan,
Lyrically top draw, with some great imagary
Really liked the simplicity of the verses especially and rootsy sounds of harp, dobro and banjo.
Thoughts: I'd be inclined  to streamline the song a bit go from v1 to v2 without the bridge and chorus to build up momentum and balance the vocals/organ on the chorus as others mentioned. And tone down the reverb on guitars and dobro a tad.

I can understand what paulski meant about edgier electric version but for me with theses lyrics I'd keep it direct and simple to highlight the words.
Evocative
  
Neil

[digger72]

Hi Montydog,

Thought this was very good. Lovely playing and arrangement. The highlight for me are the lyrics - they paint a vivid picture.
Up there with your best.

Digger

[Jamie]

Hi Allan, your usual high standard story telling and lyricism. Liked the overall feel of the track I thought it worked well, the instrumentation suited the song too. I think there were some minor mixing issues, but that didn't detract from the song for me.I wouldn't suggest building with electric guitars I think the acoustic touch fitted very well!
Nice one!
Cheers
Jamie

[nooms]

great lyric and vocal monty..its a movie
can hear the fire crackle and marty robbins ghost sitting there ..
thought the instrumentation was perfect,,
your doing wonders with that mixer..

[lillypilly]

Great lyrics
I agree with Paulski making the music a wee bit edgier
I probably don't know what I mean but to me because your voice is very smooth the music sounded to smooth for my ears anyway
Thinking of a sound like maybe Jason Isbell or Uncle Lucius

[DMBandit]

Hi,

This is quite excellent. Not my type of music usually but I love it.

There are a couple of things that work for me, the rhythm of the guitar is the first thing, a very interesting rhythm. The harmonica and effects work nicely too. Subtle and not overused.

Banjo coming in later on is perfect. Lyrics are great.

Nice work!

[Dutchbeat]

Hi Monty, a seriously cool track!!! very good melody and a very nice combination of the banjo and the mondharmonica.

Hard for me to give tips.....our music preferences are very different, but this all just sounds very right to me

[benjo]

 HEY MONTY

 WOW,  that took me back to another great song you did with benjo haha

            lyrically this just makes me drool, really takes you by the scruff of the neck
            and puts you there i could taste the dust,
            really well thought out lines that just had me from line 1

            now don't take this the wrong way you know my thoughts on your talent Alan
            but i think the other song you did with this music suits better
            that's not because it's lyrics i wrote,
            the reason is because i think in this version there is to much going on
            where you've added instruments,

            very clever though how you have wrote other lyrics to go with that tune
            over all i love it but i think it would be better without adding more
            apart from the intro that was cool

            brought back great memories Alan


                                       nice work...
           
                                                         



 
 

[montydog]

Thanks to all who posted a comment - much appreciated.

@ TheButcher, digger72, Jamie, Nooms, DMbandit and Dutchbeat - Thanks for your lovely comments and appreciation of the song. I do put a lot of work in and it's all worth it when it strikes a chord.

@Benjo - Thanks for commenting. This was a bit awkward as I wouldn't have written this without your original lyrics but then I can't give a writer's credit because it's all my work :-(  I take your point about there being a lot going on but I think it works in the context of the song and it maintains interest. It's a hard line to tread between it being too sparse and being too busy.

@Liilypilly, Paulski - You are probably right :- it would benefit from being a bit less smooth and a bit edgier but that's not my style. I don't have a very gritty voice and I can't play electric guitar to save my life so it is going to come out sounding maybe a bit smooth.

@NeilC - Thanks for your feedback on the instrumentation and I think you're right about the reverb levels - need to cut back! I normally have 2 verses before I go to the bridge/chorus but the phrase "Don't bore us, get to the chorus" was ringing in my ears from a Dave Grohl songwriting advice video!

@Tokenangmo - I understand your uneasiness about the association of the confederacy with the Klu Klux Klan but this song deliberately steers away from that and concentrates on how the ordinary people suffered. I thought I'd done enough to cancel out the racist/slavery thing. The "Southern Cross is burning" line refers to the flag being burnt by the victors and the conflagration of war. BTW, the Ku Klux Klan weren't actually formed until after the Civil War. Thanks for taking the time and trouble to read the lyrics:-)

Once again, thanks to you all. As for the 353 of you who listened but didn't bother to comment....... my ar*se.     

M

[Paulski]

As for the 353 of you who listened but didn't bother to comment

I may be wrong here, but I think many of those views are people like me revisiting the page to read others' comments. Still - it's good to remind people to comment!