I definitely think this is stronger than your other piece, I like the chorus- especially the little shards idea. I also like how you've written this based on something personal, even if it was a negative experience, at least you've made a song from it.
Again, try exploring techniques to use within your lyrics, similies, metaphors, personification, onomatopeia, etc. right now, no offence, although your songs are good they're not like WOW, but your ideas are there, I feel like you have this amazing potential that you're not using. Just take a look at the bridge (for example)
where did we go so wrong
you were ...(the melody in my song/the air inside my lungs/the heart where I belong/etc.)
even adding a simple metaphor adds so many fresh ideas
