The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Lyrics => Topic started by: harryburns on December 02, 2017, 12:15:17 PM
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Hey, so this is a kinda personal one. I'm guessing you can get what it's about from the lyrics... hopefully at least :P Thinking about maybe putting in a bridge, although I've got an instrumental one atm which works quite well. I'm a bit concerned that the 'fly out' line is just too weak. Anyway, here it is :)
I can't help but count
All the days we could've had
Climbing up that hill behind your home
And I can't help but hear
All those songs you use to play
To distract you from the day that I'd go
I can't help you, I wish that I could
And I can't see you without being misunderstood
I wish I could try, I wish I could fly out for someone new
I can't help but pray
That you'll turn around and say
That you miss me and I guess that you could
But New York's a million miles,
and that journey takes a lot of time
It's up to you, you gotta chose where to go
I can't help you, I wish that I could
And I can't see you without being misunderstood
I wish I could try, I wish I could fly out for someone new
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Great emotional layout and song structure!
In addition to "Fly Out" this line confuses me a bit
And I can't see you without being misunderstood
How can an act of seeing someone can be misunderstood? it's a passive action, right?
about the "Fly Out"
would this work?:
I wish I could try, I wish I could be there for someone new
or
I wish I could try, I wish I could leave for someone new
or
I wish I could try, I wish I could ready for someone new
or
I wish I could try, I wish I could breathe for someone new
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Great emotional lyrics keep it up!