The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Mikey on December 08, 2018, 08:35:52 PM
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Hi Guys
Here is the new track from Andy @Cawproductions (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20938) and myself, its another AtticVibes style song with Indy and Rock influences, hope you all enjoy it and make sure you have the volume right up.
Lyrics:
Verse 1:
I could tell by way,,, you looked at me……and I was seeing red. Yeh yeah
you wear a disguise but I could tell in your eyes…..its wasn’t anything you said
so cold, so bold, ya sold me the dream….coz you’re a bitter pill to me
Now your saying nothing…but I can hear your guilty plea
Chorus:
Your hearts on fire
But you’re an Icarus baby and you,re gunna get burnt
Your hearts a liar….
But you’re a sinner baby….and there’s nowhere to turn
Verse 2:
Flying close to the sun, Yeh you were the one ….and then you tore my soul away
I was holding you back but you were outta control……But I could never make you stay
I couldn’t hold on coz you were doing me wrong….and then I find you’re cheating
You were telling me lies and its you I despise……..and now my heart’s stopped beating
Bridge:
maybe we could make it work again
But ya gotta give up now on your cheating ways
maybe we could make it work again
Now I’m on my knees to make you stay..…………
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Yay. Great stuff guys. I just listened to it when it popped up on my FB feed. There's some lovely Mark Knoffler guitar licks going on throughout. Maybe I would cut back on a few of them to get the listener wanting more. I loved when the heavier guitar kicked in and thought that the M8 was particularly good. Another cracker from the @Cawproductions (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20938) hit squad :)
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Sounding excellent again, fellas.
Really enoyed this one...the guitar playing and sound is super, and the production sounded wide and clear...very accomplished. Mission accomplished.
Top notch stuff.
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This is a crackin song guys..just a shade too many guitar licks for me..particularly over the vocals, became a bit of a fight for supremacy....
but up there in the quality stakes for sure... :) :)
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"You're an Icarus baby and you're gonna get burnt" - that will do for me - brilliant chorus including that line. This is a great sounding track with some lovely lead guitar work. Sounds very commercial to me. Excellent work throughout.
M
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Great sounding track and stand out lyrics, especially verse 1.
I’d probably agree that the lead guitar bits could be more in between the vocals, or perhaps drop then in verse one to prioritise those lyrics, but that would be the extra 1% only.
Very accomplished writing, performing and producing.
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This is brilliant.
Love the guitars.... Real hints of Oasis.
Icarus Baby....clever lyrics.
Well done guys.
Sandeep
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I always look to the lyric and these are pretty good, personally I would change end of V2 to 'why won't my heart stop beating?' It gives a sense that the singer finds the situation unbearable, as it is now you're already dead so why the angst. JMHO Geoff M
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Hi All,
Thanks for listening to our track.
@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) @PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253) @shadowfax (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20024) @montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653) @adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124) @Movin Flavour (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20528) @Furry61 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22234)
Really please that a few peeps commented on the lyrics as they aren't our strong point. so a big thanks for that.
@Furry61 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22234) good suggestion matey, that last line would have worked great. Cheers
The icarus line we had a debate whether is should be either "you're Like Icarus" or "you're an Icarus", but the latter flowed better, so we went with it.
We hear ya all ref the guitar licks, listening back, yeh maybe a bit much, Note taken, something to watch out for in the next tracks.
I will have to reign in @Mikey (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20986) before he starts to kick over amps n stuff.
Anyway
Thanks to all.
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Great stuff. Agree with all of the points made above, some of which I would have never noticed had they not been mentioned during my listening experience. Love this tune. Love the lyrics, even though a couple of tweaks here and there might help add some power and flow. But in all honesty, what listener actually notices if the lyrics make sense or not when it comes to those finer details?
Somehow, I wanted to hear the background vocals more strongly. Not sure if it was the guitar drowning them out or just my personal taste.
Hope all of your gear manages to come through the critiques intact and ready for the next musical adventure. Rock on. You do it well.
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Hi guys, excellent stuff, really enjoyed this. Great guitar playing and guitar tones, and the singing and melody work really well too.
Nice one!
Cheers
Jamie
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Sterling work as always lads, reminds me a bit of Shed Seven in places.
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Loads of attitude in this one - lead vox and drums stood out as gems 4 me.
My only nit is the fire/liar couplet - it's kind of road weary from so many songs and an old fart like me has heard 'em all too many times..
Enjoyed the listen!
Paul
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Hi to everyone who commented on the song, a big thank you for taking the time, and thanks for all the great feedback, I take your point about the guitar and the vocals clashing in a couple of places, next time I will tell Andy to turn the vocals down a bit :)
Cheers, Mikey
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So slick guys - no surprise there.. Vox fab! Yes maybe a little upfront! Love the melody of the verses particularly.. agree that the lyrics are great.. Very catchy little number.. Big thumbs up from me..
K
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Ah, smooooth fretwork! And a really tasty production at that, you had me even before the vocals came in.
Think you could get away with a little less reverb on the vox in the chorus and/or a bit more in-your-face (matter of taste of course)
My only suggestion would be the chorus before the solo. It's a bit different (at least drum wise) but I think you could make it even more 'different' to transit into the solo.
Anyway, a really solid piece of work, well done!
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Nice track with quite a hooky chorus...kind of a mix of classicr rock and Brit pop to me.
Excellent clarity in the mix with a nice throbbing bass line. It felt slightly too compressed on the whole for me, I'd have preferred a little more dynamic contrast but I know compression is a subjective thing and probably just my personal taste.
Little else I can pick at though so I've got to find something.
Great job guys.
Yodasdad
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@MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) @Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875) @Yodasdad (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19208)
Thanks guys, great that you like the track and took the time to leave a comment, we really appreciate everyone's feedback as it always help so much with the next track.
Cheers, Mikey
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The sound and the mix are really very professional. The song is very good. I also hear Mark Knopfler, especially in the intro, which is very good sign.
Congratulations!
IS
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woke me up ! bosh !
great intro
love the 'band'.. guitar players on fire too
energy and the changes.. really rocks
fine vocals, attitude and a good chorus..
cant beat it
fine work chaps
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@Inanité_sonore (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22286) @nooms (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=11264)
Thanks guys for the kind words, really glad you like the song, Andy will be pleased about your thoughts on the mix, and special thanks from me for the great comments on the guitars
Cheers, Mikey
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Hi,
I like the guitar intro and verse with 2nd vocals.
And the chorus is strong. All instrument present and correct.
Thoughts: at the beginning it had a pop feel then went straight into the Oasisy chorus, which took me a bit by surprise, the second time, you went into a prechorus which worked for me prior to the second chorus..
:)
Neil
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Yo dudes.
A fine intro with those Rockabilly Knopfler licks. :)
The song drives just great,dig those drums. Vocals work well with the song.
I'm in the same club of 'less is more' with the guitar licks,but a minor detail in a good song.
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Great job fellas!! The vocal performance is spot on and drives the song perfectly! Mikeys guitars aren’t too shabby either!😜🎸🎶👊🏻🎶
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Impressive blend of country choogling and britpop guitar chops! Nice big chorus that carries the song. I like the suspended ending too... interesting place to leave it hanging. Be proud of this one guys... it's a winner.
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Whato @Cawproductions (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20938) - Nice idea for a song, I agree with some of the others I think the song would really benefit from losing the lead gtr fills completely, as Skub says < = > . Keep it for Solo section.
Nice middle 8, so difficult to write a good one.
After the Solo section the LVox does tend to sound like one of the BVox...clever singing.
Yeah love the interrupted finish.
Very nice indeed. Hope this helps.
Rich
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Hi guys, thanks again for the great comments, we're glad you like the song and the suggestions are always very helpful.
Cheers, Mikey
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Another great song guys. ;D . Just love that rhythm and 'especially' nice drums.
Huge chorus with some great lyrics. The only thing I would've looked at, if it were
mine, would be the guitar sound.....a little more 'dirt' in it for me ;D ;D. A taste thing....
Love the energy...a real 'mover' of a song.
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@Binladeda (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18620)
Cheers Bin, if you want dirty guitars, hang on to something, its about time for another rockin' song, and we are brewing up a monster and it will blow your ears off, thanks for the listen,
Cheers, Mikey