[jejay marley]

i wrote this song about something it's not completed as a song yet
but my brother read it and he didn't like it (he's a rapper)..., he told me that i should start all over again with another idea
but i'm going to post it here and i wish everyone give me his opinion... it's going to be like a rating system



different people, different faces
different lives ,different places
its a scary road and long distance
everyone's around me but still there's an absence
a mysterious feels locks us up in cages
like a withered flower between a blank pages



i'll be so happy to know your opinions

[massa]

You've posted this in the wrong place, it needs to be in the review section.

I really like your line:

"like a withered flower between a blank pages" - great imagery

That's really nice. I'm sorry to hear your brother didn't like it - does he write his own music. If he's an older brother he'll have no qualm's about putting you down. Just take his criticism lightly, tell him to come up with better, and write for YOU not for anyone else.