[Kafla]

Apologies for the length of this - I understand if you don't want to listen

I also realise that there are errors in the mix but I have played around with this enough - I can't take anymore

This one will probably get ripped apart but feel free to comment on whatever you want

http://soundcloud.com/andrewcruse/when-the-time-is-right

Until the angels take us away
You know I will follow, I believe in your way
Where do we go when our time is through?
If I'm first I will be waiting for you

I know that love can take as it gives
It can make you feel brave enough  to forgive
My heart was frozen like the night
You made it running water in sunlight

I'm just so scared of myself
Theres so much I never knew
I want to make it with you
It's only fair that I should let you go

Into the shadows where our love grows
In silent tremors above and below
I want to follow you into the light
I want to be with you on that last night

When the time is right I'll be waiting for you

[gerrybhoy]

No lack of commitment to the job of singing, belted out in an excellent gutsy vocal take, a little vinegar, a little honey, in the right proportions, and at the right time. I loved the sentiment of the lyric, I guess there's a wee bit of your own heart in there? 

First tune of the day and it set me up nicely. Regards length, I think 3.50 would be a reasonable length, however if played live, I would think you could milk it with the addition of the drum break and reprise.

Enjoyed the tune, recognise the commitment.

[estreet]

There's a lot I really like about this. I think it's a good song and I don't mind the length.
The instrumental passages are great.
I like the way the early part of the song hangs on that half-time drum beat and slow piano bass but I really feel that when it slips into that straight 4/4 rock beat it spoils the hypnotic mood - whereas a development of that original beat with extra bass, snares and a running percussion (like you use at the end) would be much better.

There are just a couple of places where there's an issue between the vocal note and the chord or bass where something isn't settling right that I can't put my finger on.
 
For me, the build at the end is crying out for some real electric guitar parts. Happy to have a bash at that if you're interested - I don't mind at all if it doesn't work for you and you bin it.

[Schavuitje]

I really like it Kaf, very much!

I understand there's things not right on the production side, I could hear that, and I didn't think the melody of
the vocals worked on this part where the altered chords were,"It's only fair that I should let you go". There's timing issue's here and there BUT
I won't rabbit on about that though because you have already said you know it's not completely right and although the song was indeed quite long
I never got bored at any time.
As with all your stuff mate, the emotion and feeling is in there and to my ears I find that very attractive, regardless of any production errors.
You are beginning to experiment a lot more with the synth, it sounds like to me and not just strings and I really like that You are spending time on layering and
arrangement. Sounds like there are new dimensions creeping into your stuff - brilliant!
Loved that Zither type sound you used. Was that done with keyboards?

Well done on the vocals too mate. I love your energy and commitment to them


Cangratulations mate. Another very good song!  

[Kafla]

Guys - thank you so much for your reviews.

This song just grew and grew and it became a nightmare to mix - I was dropping sections into new tracks to change the effects and I ended up with over 50! Big learning point for me was to properly label tracks and send tracks to separate BUS's to change the effects from there ( I have just learned how to do this)

I have only been producing my own music for 11 months having not played an instrument for around 10 years so I am encouraged by the progress I am making - as much as I love it I want it to remain enjoyable so I decided to just post this song rather than worry about anymore - it was beginning to tip from sheer enjoyment to stress - and I probably had a better mix 2 mixes before

I changed to a diminished chord on that phrase Schavu and on refection I should have stayed on the flat but I didn't want to change all the instruments on this note - ha ha - but when you are 'in' a  song its amazing how your ears begin to accept something that you initially knew was wrong.

Estreet - I would be delighted to accept you offer - if you want to send me any files to andrewcruse@gmail.com I will add it to the mix. This would be awesome

But all in all I had fun here although my wife has told me that if I don't start recording some acoustic songs again she is going to divorce me - " all that sh!te instrumentation when you stop everyone dead when its just you and a guitar at a party" oh well 

[Schavuitje]

What I want to know is what she was doing outside of the kitchen? mwahhahhaaha 

Kaf - I'd rather hear this, with its emotion and feeling and experimentaion than something perfect but

wihtout any of these things. Everyone these days is doing acoustic and vocal... Some of those songs are very good indeed.

But accoustic, vocal, accoustic vocal, accoustic vocal... where's the variety in that? 

Loved it mate.

Do some accoustic stuff mate and please your missus  But if you stick to only accoustic I will have to slap you with a wet salmon! 

[Kafla]

What I want to know is what she was doing outside of the kitchen? mwahhahhaaha 

Kaf - I'd rather hear this, with its emotion and feeling and experimentaion than something perfect but

wihtout any of these things. Everyone these days is doing acoustic and vocal... Some of those songs are very good indeed.

But accoustic, vocal, accoustic vocal, accoustic vocal... where's the variety in that? 

Loved it mate.

Do some accoustic stuff mate and please your missus  But if you stick to only accoustic I will have to slap you with a wet salmon! 

Ha ha Schavu, that made me laugh

And succinctly summed up my feelings to music at the moment - I want to have fun with all the new toys I have

I also want to keep that emotion - regardless if something is out or a lyric is a bit tweet I hope the emotion comes thorugh

Just eat your salmon mate 

[Schavuitje]

ughhh no! Can't stand fish mate... That's why I go fishing 

[Paul]

Very impressive Andy.   I don't mind the length of this song as I think it holds the listener's attention well.  I know how hard you've worked at developing this and it's impressive that you have attempted such an ambitious project.  It's good to strive to be as good as you possibly can be but sometimes you've just got to let go.  If there are imperfections, then don't worry too much.  This is a demo after all.  What it does do, is communicate the ideas/musical ambition that you have for this song extremely well!

Thanks for sharing.

Paul

[jim morrison]

Dude! i think this is your best so far, i listened on the way to work today and was very impressed ,the structure of the song is first class, well done Andy - definitely one for your first album 

[bewarethisboy]

I loved this - and had no problems with the production except I just was not sure the song itself needed quite this much. There is a lyric that got right inside me, and a tune i loved as well as the voice - loved it, I thought the hook at the end could really work as a recuring theme through the song perhaps?? (just a thought maybe) - it really grabbed me. Not sure the drum sound was quite to my ear - particulalry early on in the song - but that is just me i would love to hear it stripped down because it is a great song and would love to hear the version with extra guitar in it too please. But these are very personal thoughts - this is a quality piece of work. BTB

[tina m]

i do think this is a great song with some lovely touches thats run away with itself a bit & would be better shorter
you do come up  with such lovely songs full of melody & real songwriting & great arrangements every time...& this is definately another one
you are probaly the most constantly impressive songwriter on this forum

i listened on phones as its late & that snare hurt my head in the early part
& the chord under "its only fair" sounded odd?

[Songsmith]

Hi Kaf,

I think this is really good, sure there are some timing issues here & there but I love some of the tempo changes you have going, they work great. It has great possibilities !!!!

[Kafla]

Cheers Guys, Your feedback really helps

Bewarethisboy - I am really touched by your sincerity , its a lovely review - I had hoped the sentiment of this lyric came across - the song affected me when I was writing it and made me think about a lot of things I probably shouldnt have been I have an acoustic rough version if you would like to hear it.

Jim - seriously comments like yours make it all worthwhile

Paul - thank you for all your help and support mate. Cant wait to post your latest production next

Tinam - I am going to redo that bloody chord - ha ha

Songsmith - again such a nice positive review looking beyond the frays

The few days I have had away from this song and the encouragement I have received have been a massive shot in the arm, I hope e street delivers that guitar solo and I now feel up for having another go at mixing this better

I initially used this forum to get feedback and develop a song - recently pride has taken over and I have been trying to make the songs perfect before I post them- I should have more faith in the good spirits on here to see past the small sh!t

Its definitely been a good move to post this in its current state

[bewarethisboy]

Cheers Guys, Your feedback really helps

Bewarethisboy - I am really touched by your sincerity , its a lovely review - I had hoped the sentiment of this lyric came across - the song affected me when I was writing it and made me think about a lot of things I probably shouldnt have been I have an acoustic rough version if you would like to hear it.

I would love to hear it Kafla yes...thank you