The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Jambrains on November 12, 2016, 09:33:58 PM
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Yet another collab with MonnoDB, we are turning into a great team :)
This time Karen wrote the song and did the vocals and I provided arrangement/playing and production.
As always we had great fun doing it. :D
https://soundcloud.com/monnodb/dont-play-that-card
Don't Play that Card
Verse 1
Do you remember the words you said
The hurt they caused, and the fears they fed
When nobody mattered to you but you
My best deeds would never do
Verse 2
Do you remember the casual way
You passed off insults that would stay
Embedded in my self esteem
They served their purpose it seems
Chorus
Now your smiles belie the truth
This current version is a kinder you
I loved you then though you made it hard
Don't play it now don't play that card
Don't play that card, don't play that card
Verse 3
Do you remember the way you pushed
For what you wanted in name of us
Justification an excuse away
Just an excuse away
Verse 4
Do you remember how you stole my pain
Took my story made it yours and then
Came for comfort to my grieving head
Refused to hear the words I said
Chorus
Now your smiles belie the truth
This current version is a kinder you
I loved you then though you made it hard
Don't play it now don't play that card
Don't play that card, don't play that card
Bridge
Make me understand
Why so underhand
Does it make a better tale
If dishonesty prevails
Chorus
Now your smiles belie the truth
This current version is a kinder you
I loved you then though you made it hard
Don't play it now don't play that card
Don't play that card, don't play that card
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Brilliant colab JB and MDB. Loved the slide geeetar and the vocals. Acoustic interlude brings it down really nicely as well. Quality stuff guys
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Hi both,
Loved everything about this, the whining guitars and the whole laid back brooding vibe. The vocals are good to, they sit nicely in the mix.
The only thing I didn't like was the final little drum fill right at the end. It sounded out of place to me, possibly because it was louder than the drums throughout the track, or at least it came across that way without the other instruments there. Maybe mixing it down would help.
Yodasdad
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Another great collab.
Your style complement each other's well.
Great topic...excellent lyrics and guitars up to their usual standard.
Sandeep
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Hi,
I'm liking this... vocal sits perfectly in the mix and is strong. Production and instrumentation superb. Melody is kind of atmospheric and the whole song nestles nicely on the rock-folk spectrum to me which is right up my street!
Good job going to listen again :)
Phil
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always cool stuff..always, really good song enjoyed it awesomely!! not a nit in site my friend.. :) :)
very well done you guy's... :) :)
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Hi Jam,
I really like the way the vocals emerge, lotus like, from the huge gritty texture....That counterpoint of the smooth vocal against the crying guitars is very effective...
To my ears, it seems that the vocal could use a touch more verb to bring it into the guitar space....or maybe the other way around ....depending on your preference... Another excellent tune!
igg
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You have a great thing going with monodb & all the songs youve done together are realy good..
this has a fab backing track & the slide guitar was a nice touch...tho I kept wanting you to do more with it instead of being a bit cautious ( not that I can play slide)
it was very catchy & the words & rhymes were hooky & made a great song
now as you complained about my terrible modern drum sound! I had a good listen to yours ;D
& im going to suggest that your drums always sound the same! ..its that big 'playing to 1000s' full on rock kit every time & as monodb hasnt got a full on rock voice what about trying something more modern for her?
I can send you the one I used on my song if you want ;D
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Love it Jambrains. Lovely full slide guitar - it´s always satisfying playing slide isn´t it? Great melody and lyrics as well - Karen does a great job on the vocals. The whole piece has a more original melody and chord structure than you hear normally, which is refreshing stuff. Someone mentioned heavy drums...they are a little in places, but that´s a minor nitpick. Really like it...
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first thing.
You have loud drums and loud and distorted guitars; and the mix is great.
That s really sth i m struggling with all the time.
the vocals sound superb.
The songwriting is great; a really really good rock song. WOW!!
B
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@pompeyjazz: thanks!
@yodasdad: I see what you mean about the final drum fill. The intention was to create an illusion of a "live" session but I guess it could be turned down a bit.
@Movin Flavour: thanks for the kind words :)
@boolio, @shadowfax: thanks for taking the time to listen and comment!
@igg: I get the point about the guitars vs vox, my intention was to make the vox stand out from the rest by keeping it pretty dry so it was "by design" even though it may not have worked out the way I intended...
@tinam: thanks! I knew that drum comment would back fire ;D But you are quite right about the drum sound being more or less the same in my songs but I guess that is just the way I like them. Searched long and hard to find a kit that gave me that sound and even more time figuring out how to mix it.
@MartynRich: thanks for the nice comments, I get the point about the drums but I guess that is the way I like them
@TheButcher: hey, long time since I saw you around, good to have you back. :) Thanks for listening and the positive feedback
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that was a fun listen.
I might have missed your other collaborations
I hope they re-surface.
Thanks for the upload.
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I like this guys. Nicely put together. Well done.
Will go in search of your other collabs tonight!
Cheers
A
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To be honest, I don't like distorted guitars and loud drums - it's just not pleasant to these old ears. The song itself is a bit lacking melodically but again I'm maybe looking for something which you're not selling :)
I think the lyrics are the strongest part of this and it's clearly played and sung to a high standard but it's just not my cup of tea.
M
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@Rightly & @AnitaFox: thanks for the kind words. All my collabs with MonnDB can be found here: https://soundcloud.com/jambrains/sets/collabs-with-monnodb
@montydog: yeah, I know this is not your cup of tea but I'm happy you took the time to check it out anyway. Too bad you missed our previous collab, I'm pretty sure that one would have been more enjoyable for you: http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=11939.15
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Hey Jambrains
Slide guitar - love that part! Well all the guitars really.
As far as suggs, I think the vocals could use another take - sound unsure at times and there are a few spots where the drums are out of time.
I do like the song and did I mention I like the bottleneck? ;D ;D
Paul
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Yo JB and Monno.
You two work so well together. I love the gloomy,70s rock atmosphere,like a cross between Jefferson Airplane and the wonderful Sonja in Curved Air.
I like the slide,but I concur with some of the other on the drums,they seem a bit messy and distract from what is otherwise a powerful song.
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I do like this song, but I think it could be improved with a more prominent rthym section, particularly more bass to offset the very slidy guitars. Good job though. Great to hear collaborations.
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Hi guys, good collaboration, love the slide guitars, can't get enough of a slide guitar! I think the vocal style works nicely as it's not the standard rock/grunge screechy sound. Think the bass could be more prominent. Really good song. I liked it!
Cheers
Jamie
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Looking forward to this, and the intro got me straight away. Vocals strong on the verse.
Perhaps the 'dont play the card' line a bit low.
Enjoyed the slide and 12 string too.
:)
Neil
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Hi JB - great track. Enjoyed the contrast between the guitars and the "nice" vocal. It gives a really individual and attention keeping sound.
Lyrics are cool and interesting. Getting belies and prevails into the same song is always going to be a winner for me.
I was somehow waiting for a really big lift in the final chorus - perhaps a bit cliche? But I thought it might add something...
Nice work!
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I'm a sucker for slide guitar and this was exceptional! Great vocals, too. Lyrically and melodically it's all good, too. Another winner from your mini dream team :)
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Was a bit worried about how this was going to turn out when the guitar started at the beginning. But then Karen came in with the vocals and it all starts to fit nicely together. I'm guessing that the drums were played on a drum machine or keyboard as some of the rolls sound a little bit out.
Really like Karen's voice on this - please keep collaborating!!
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As others have said excellent slide guitar work, although the guitars do overpower somewhat and could be taken down a little (or am I just getting too old for loud distorted guitars?)
There are some excellent backing vocals buried in there that I would consider pulling forward in the mix.
Overall, really good listen, thanks
Kevin
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Right up my street, this one. Very well arranged, a lot of thought has clearly gone into the push-and-pull between lead vocal and lead guitar. Nice backing vocals too.
Overall, a great rocking track, kept me interested right to the end!
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Good stuff - Good indie Rock Track - Bit 'Wordy' for my taste but seems to suit the genre and female voice well.