[Arthur_Satine]

Hello, this is my first song. I really want to hear your opinion. I apologize for the quality of the recording, it's just a demo.

(Intro)

I’ve sent you so many telegrams
And I have this one at last
Did you best songs come from broken hearts
So let’s break mine

(Verse 1)

Best songs come from broken hearts I know
Can’t remember when you closed the door
Dying by the time that goes too long
Our love just burning in this song

(Chorus)

Nothing in this world will ever break my heart again
Nothing in this world will ever break you back to me

(Verse 2)

Silent night and I PUT THE radio on
Dance with me now
Who cares about love songs
Sugar and spice we getting down
Everything nice but I lost my crown

(Chorus)

Nothing in this world will ever break my heart again
Nothing in this world will ever bring you back to me

(Bridge)

P.A.S.S.I.O.N.

I’m in love, in love again

P.A.S.S.I.O.N.

Is this love the same?


https://soundcloud.com/erlinroe_official/nothing-in-this-world-demo

[mickeytwonames]

I like the bass line very much.
Voice is subtle and mysterious
I think the drum click is too much in the fore front.
For my taste a little more light and shade would help the song.
Just sayin - hope that helps

[JOdejo]

I like the drums<<3 The mysterious voice started I think a little too bit mysterious, but sounds cool. the bridge is surprising and good! This is a song I'll put on repeat, good job!

[CaliaMoko]

Here's my two cents' worth.

1. The overall atmosphere of the song appeals to me. I know this is just a demo and I assume a final mix would blend the [for instance] drum beats and bass line in with the rest more smoothly and less obtrusively. And make the lyrics more understandable. If I hadn't had the lyrics to read along while listening, in several places I wouldn't have had any idea what the words were. It would also help if the words were enunciated a little better--in particular, I noticed, the word endings were often missing.

2. This could just be me, but I don't understand some of the phrases, what they mean and how they add to the story of the song. For instance: "Did you best songs come from broken hearts". Also, "Sugar and spice we getting down / Everything nice but I lost my crown". And last, the bridge. The meaning of the bridge escapes me completely. If these problems are all because I'm just dense, no problem. But just in case it isn't just me, I'm pointing them out.

Overall, as I said, I like the sound. It's echo-y and almost trancelike and makes me see the singer as in a kind of daze after losing his true love.

LAST NOTE--I see you have only one posting (as I write this). Don't forget it's important to provide feedback to other songwriters' songs so they'll be more inclined to provide feedback for you. We have a "scratch my back and I'll scratch yours" community in these forums.

Best of luck in your songwriting adventures.

Vicki

[v8burble]

Great track. I started listening to critique it and 30 seconds in I was swaying with the beat and zoned out (but in a really good way)!
Great voice, loved listening to the song.
I do agree that the lyrics read on their own are a little confusing but in relation to the mysterious feel of the song I'm not sure clarity over the whole thing is needed(at least not for me).
It's great!
Phil