[skogge]

Hi good forum people!

I´m issuing a new (but slightly older) song this time. A bit less experimental in it´s form so it should be easier to follow already at first listen. It is actually a Country-tune that I wrote some ten years ago but I have reworked it to fit into my new electronic retro-style.

It is a demo and I am thinking of taking it for one more round. Better singing, more dynamic drum programming  and a better fade-out with less repeating of the song melody.

But I would appreciate some feedback on the overall construction of the song, the flow of the actual composition. Maybe some thought that me myself never thought off (sometimes I really miss being in a band…)

It goes like this ´n hope you like it:
https://soundcloud.com/skogge/i-am-not-the-hero-here

Yes… Lyrics as follows (please point out any blatant errors on my part):

I Am Not The Hero Here
Waking every morning
to the sunshine
or to snowflakes falling
Even if I looked
I wouldn´t care
But if you forced me to reveal
what kind of day I prefer
I might tell you
that I like my days to be
just a little bit warmer

Well I don´t care who wins the war
who wears the crown
or who is poor
I don´t think it has
to do with me
But if you made me take the stand
I might just stand up and demand
that everyone should get
just what they need
to be the ones they want to be

Ooh everyone should get
just what they need
to be the ones they want to be
that would change a lot you see

But I am not the hero here
I think I never be
one of those who make a difference
one of those who makes a mark
on history
that is okay

Because I know I been here
long enough
I´m almost overdue
But pushing on a tiny distance
Make a little change for me and you
That is okay

I know there is a golden rule
of how to live my life
But of the man who says it´s golden
him I don´t know anything about (x4)

[onemanband]

Hey Skogge -

I really do like your sound!! It makes me regress back to childhood, some of the sounds remind me of games on my spectrum!!

I think there are a few things you could do to tighten this up a little -

It would benfit from more structure - there doesn't appear to be any hook, until the repeats at the end - I think adding a small chorus that you return to would really anchor the song, at the moment it seems fairly unstructured.

I really enjoy your writing style as well - correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think English is your first language? - and some of the phrases you use are really quite endearing - the first two verses are really cool.

Apart from that I think you have most of the other ideas yourself, shorten it a bit and make the end seem more natural.

Well done Skogge and good luck!!!

[skogge]

Hi OMB and thanks for your kind words. You are totally right. i am from Sweden and in school most of my grades sucked, including English language. so it´s faar from native for me. Maybe that is why I´m taking chances, it´s easier when you can´t tell right from wrong! 

[benjo]

 hey nice song

 I do agree with a lot of above comments
 but still to me really nice feel to this song
 it does have a quality that makes you think back

 and I to like your writing style

          really enjoyed this well done sir

                      tony...

[nooms]

hi skogge
enjoyed this, quite inventive . kicks off nicely like a sgt pepper track then philadephian with the buzz bass ..intrigueing and works well..got a neat groove to it when it gets going and i like your vocal ideas theyre excellent altho i thought some of the ‘la las’ were a step too far..it gets a little crowded and confused in places and hate to say it but its too long.. if you keep it this length then i think you should develop the backing track a little more..
but fine work
good luck

[Neil C]

skooge
Its a really different style you're getting here with the 80's synth backing and your layered soft rock vocal approach.
In terms of feedback on first listening your structure isn't particularly standard and there's a lot going with varied arrangement and backing so the song kind of evolves. I guess it depends where its going but if you're going for pop I might take the song back to its basics drums, bass, synth and vocal to check it works and then embellish it from there.
I'd also encourage you to be a bit more consistent use of the bass throughout most of the song to counteract the high end of the synth and vocals.
Anyway I enjoyed the listen, you clearly put lots of effort in especially the vocal arrangements.
 
Neil   

[Binladeda]

 Hi

 Loved it Got some good melodies going on, and a nice choice instrumentally.

 But what I loved most about this, is the obvious enjoyment and fun you get from
 your music The 'La la la's' were masterful

 Really enjoyed listening to this.....thanks

[Paulski]

Nice vocals and hops along well. A tad too long and I got a bit confused as to where the verse/chorus etc were but it was a very pleasant listen and your voice is in perfect pitch throughout.
Nice job on this!
Paul

[TheButcher]

love the synth bass that comes in at 0:50 - love most of the sound use here - got this "super nintendo" feeling.
That said, i m not really feeling that good bout the songwriting and structure. The song looses me after 2 Minutes; after i ve heard the cool sounds.

all the best